Ignorant Expatriates

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Nothing boils my piss much more than the “woe is me” bullshit of cunts abroad, who believe laws of other countries are merely for the “local population” and think the “you can’t do that, I’m British” line will cut the mustard.

From the man sentenced to lashes for making alcohol in some Middle Eastern shithole, then cunts who try to get out of being hanged for drug smuggling in Singapore. I say thank fuck there are still countries that enforce punishments for crimes. Maybe Abdul, Rastus and Pavlov, would think twice about “refuging” in Blighty if we had proper punishments to fit the crime.

As someone who spent 37 years in Rhodesia, I know that following laws and customs is the done thing if you don’t want to end up doing the “Spandau Ballet” or having a back that looks like you’ve been lying on a George Forman grill. Fuck these expat law breakers. Throw the fucking book at them, so the cunts think twice before doing it again (after a thorough sjamboking of course!!!)

Nominated by: Captain Quimson

80 thoughts on “Ignorant Expatriates”

  2. I’d love for Starmer to take his homos and trannies over to Saudi Arabia on a “fact-finding” mission and to see the lot of them given a good public flogging – including Kweer himself for being seen arm-in-arm with Eddie Izzard. And let’s not forget A;istair Campbell getting 40 lashes for being pissed in the street.

    We could learn a lot from these foreign countries – I can’t imagine the crusties from XR enjoying the good thtrashing they are due.

    • No friendly cozzers bringing them cups of tea and cushions over there.
      Just a savage kicking and a dank cell full of goat shaggers…

  3. Well said Captain.
    I do very much like to hear of the death sentence for drug smugglers and rape types.
    Really cheers me up.

    • PS..the English “justice” system could learn a thing or two about appropriate punishment from certain foreign countries.

      • It’s ironic that Singapore and UK have reversed roles. It was a shithole in the 70’s but like the UK used to be we now have the best Police, armed forces, justice system and education, and no illegal immigration.

    • ‘Ex Pats’ is bollocks. They are IMMIGRANTS to the cuntry they have chosen to live in. They should fucking well behave. Cunts.

  4. It’s the sob stories brought about by ignorant fuckwittery that boils my piss.

    To be accepted into a community you need to learn the language, understand local customs and laws, get a good lawyer and accountant, work or volunteer for community projects, NEVER question their way of doing things and above all, be pleasant and polite at all times.
    Even then, you will be tolerated more than accepted.

    My recent (failed) house purchase in Madeira took two years of research and a further three months and £6k in fees to arrange bank accounts, national insurance numbers, a fucking brilliant lawyer from the mainland and an accountant (both still kept on retainer) once we pressed the purchase button.

    I read in the paper about a month back about some cunt who retired to Spain with £15k in the bank and was whining that the Spanish want him to pay tax at local rates and that everything was expensive once you make the move.

    Well, no shit Sherlock! Do your fucking research before jumping ship you thick cunt!

  5. Johnny Foreigner should respect the fact that I’m an English Gentleman and just be grateful that I’ve even deigned to visit his backward Shitehole.

    • I’m shocked to know you visit backward shiteholes, Dick. Good grief, you haven’t caught the gayness, have you?

  6. When in Rome do as the Romans do is sound advice.

    Unlike some of the charming third world refuse we host in places like Rochdale whose motto is “when in Rome do as the Parking Stanley’s do in Islamabad”.

  7. Apparently in the US the oldest person in the car with a drunk driver is also responsible. Who new. Not me when I was 18 in Arizona. “I don’t know your laws” didn’t go down well with the local old bill.The cunts left me in the desert. Mind you I had all my friends there regretting the the war of Independence after telling them I’d been getting served in pubs since I was 14.

  8. I think this nom should also apply to all the foreigners who come here, bringing their stinking religions and backward ideals to this country. If you go to any country, you should respect that country’s customs. I’m always amazed that there are more religious Easter items and nativity scenes in many Middle Eastern shops than you will find in the UK. Saying that, this was the first year in many that I didn’t go to church on Easter Sunday, mainly due to me thinking that Justin Welby is an out of touch cunt.

  9. Sorry, I can’t go along with this.
    I hanker after a time when a (blue) British passport stated ‘Her Britannic Majesty requires Johnny Foreigner if he knows what’s good for him to let the bearer pass freely, break any laws with impunity and generally fuck about without let or hindrance.’
    I miss the days of Empire.

    • Well said GT.
      However, I`m off to Africa soon (to do a bit of `voluntary service`) but at least I`m making an effort blend in with the natives. Some, of course, will take it the wrong way.

      • You should learn from the wisdom of Sir Lenny of Premier Inn in as much as the n*gn*gs don’t want whitey to save them. Leave them to it, stay home and watch ZULU on the TV!

      • Good to see you’ll be trying to get along with the natives SB. How do you like your Missionary cooked?

  10. “But it’s my right. My Human rights”
    or
    “Don’t you know who I am?”
    or
    “I’m entitled”

    These, and probably a few other defaults used by ignorant Brits/Influencers/z-list slebs, who think that ignoring local customs is perfectly okay for them, but should be be adhered to by everyone else otherwise you’re a bigoted racist.

    And when they do find themselves up shit creek, especially more recently with fucking idiots flying out to the Ukraine for a few selfies/likes, they always blame the local British Embassy/government for not doing enough getting them out, and therefore whinge about it on social media.

    And when these ungrateful cunts are brought back home, at great expense, they never bother to thank the cunts who rescued them, but continue to moan about how shite Britain is, while conveniently overlooking their own ignorance by ignoring the local customs of the country they’ve just visited and almost died in.

  11. I am a strong advocate of respecting other nations customs, beliefs and practices.

    It is a great pity that the majority detritus who come to my country, hold the opposite view.

    Worse, the politicians and authorities who enable, celebrate and enforce foreign culture on the indigenous populace, to the detriment of our society, go unpunished.

    Great nomination Captain👍

  12. Touchy fuckers foreigners,
    Easily upset.
    Why I never leave the shores of my beloved England 🇬🇧

    Cant wear swimming trunks at the wailing wall you know?
    Or eat a scotch egg at Hagia Sofia!!
    Petty.

    Luckily I despise the whole of Africa,
    Asia too.
    Thailand is for pee dos,
    And spain for cockney gangsters.
    New Zealand is like North Korea
    Australia too hot.
    America too many blacks,
    But I like the look of the Shetland isles.

    Consider there.
    But ill act how I want!
    At the end of the day im a Englishman,
    Gods greatest creation and im better than other nationalities.

    Fuck Alan Whicker🖕

    • In all seriousness, you can experience all of those cultures, in Lonstabistan, Mis🤔

      • Sensible fellow👍

        Why go to Khans caliphate, when the Lake District national park is closer👍

      • Morning Mis.

        Shetlands are a bit dull, – like me somedays.

        Don’t listen to CG the Lake District is nice, if your amphibious.

        A week at Ambleside, and your skin looks like you’ve lay in the bath for two hours.

      • Morning Dickvandyke!👍

        Yeah I know the Lake District and like it a lot.
        Not been the Shetland Isles yet but will do.
        Dull?
        Good!!!
        I like dullards, know where you stand with a dullard.

        Everydays a wet sunday in the Shetlands !!👍

      • Whilst it is unlikely that you will get a suntan in Ambleside, the “real” Lake District-not the traffic jams of Kendal, Bowness, Windermere and Ambleside, will present you with air worth breathing and the best scenery in England 👍

      • I like the Lake District and those who live and work there,
        With one exception.

        The bloke in the giftshop in Grasmere.
        You know who you are!

        Following me round the shop like im a thief you cheeky cunt .

        I could buy all the fuckin tat in your shop but didn’t buy anything because your a suspicious,inbred little churchmouse.

        I hope your shop burns to the fuckin ground and your bollocks turn black .

      • Yes, CG, I keep away from Ambleside etc.

        I like Wast Water. There’s just something about it. It’s slightly creepy, but magnificent at the time.

        Can’t be doing with hordes of folk.

      • Wastwater is visually one of the more bleaker areas of the lakes in my opinion due to the screes on the opposite side but still always very atmospheric when you’re up there.
        Catching the correct type of sunset there can be amazing.

        Quite a peaceful place an all when compared to other parts of the lake District like Keswick or Windermere and there’s a couple of decent little pubs in the vicinity serving nice local ales as well. 👍

      • The Lake District National Park, is God’s own garden.

        Although that said, our local councils (soon to be unified) are pushing to receive a shedload of refugees up here, mostly from Syria and Afghanistan.

        Therefore, the National Park, will soon be Mohammed’s own garden (with little girls as an optional extra!)

      • @Techno

        Birth rate seems to have plummeted round here as well and with the amount of empty properties in certain neighborhoods then you get the natural impression that’s where swathes of these cultural enrichers will end up living.

        With regards to Lake District and Mohammed’s garden it would seem that enjoying the serenity of Britain’s national parks aren’t usually seen as a traditionally Islamic practice and the great British outdoors has even had accusations of racism levelled at it.
        Not sure how mountains meadows and lakes can be racist against peacefuls and other 3rd world types but it takes all sorts doesn’t it.

        Jeremy Cunting Vine was only talking about this on his bollocks radio phone in the other day. Some peaceful trying to set up a rambling group for other peacefuls in an attempt to break the mould/stereotype of peacefuls not being the types to enjoy hiking or sightseeing or whatever.

        What a pile of woke wank.

        To be honest, and I’m probably being blinded by prejudice here, I’ve a genuine feeling this fella might have a challenge on his hands dragging his brethren away from the either the mosque, the takeaway, the taxi rank, the benefit office or from peering through the gates of the local all girl junior school and getting the dirty bastards up the fells for a walk.

  13. I have my fingers crossed that Gareth Wokegate and his band of cunts will be stupid enough to start telling the Qataris to celebrate the gayness at the World Cup.

    Sadly, I reckon they’ll shit out, but it would be fucking hilarious to see the fuckers getting chased around the stadium by the religious police.

    • England and the EPL clubs are quick enough to virtue signal all sorts of woke issues by bending knees or wearing ribbons or armbands for one cause or another.

      But I bet they won’t be grandstanding quite so much in Qatar for fear of offending the local religious leaders and politicos. Instead they’ll just stay silent and follow orders.

      And yet one of the Woke’s byword statements is “Silence is Violence”. So if England don’t virtue signal in Qatar about gay rights and just stay quiet, will that piss off the woke?

      But if they do speak up and slag off Qatar, they will of course provoke other sections of the woke to declare England is racist etc.

      what a tangled web these virtue signalling cunts weave

  14. Britain was a brilliant place.
    I never knock it.
    If it wasn’t for the money that I earned in Britain then I would not have been able to move to Spain.

    I get really annoyed with the way Britain has changed.
    I am sad to say that if I were ever to have to move, Britain would be bottom of the list of counties that I would go to now.

    When you move abroad, as has been said, learn the fucking language.

    You may be able to get by in most bars shops and restaurants by pointing and waving, but sooner or later you will need to talk to the police, doctors or people at the local Town Hall.

    I have met many people who are actually proud of the fact that they have been here for decades and can’t speak a word of Spanish.

    I have been a passenger in cars numerous times that have been pulled over by the police where the driver is not capable of communicating with them.
    The police are, quite rightly, outraged that a long time resident of their country, driving a Spanish registered car cannot understand a word of their language.

    When I get stopped, even though the police can tell by my accent that I am a native English speaker, I get a much nicer reception.

    A few year’s ago the Guardia Civil set up a checkpoint close to a local British supermarket.
    There was outrage that almost all of British drivers who had been stopped were fined for having a UK driving licence.
    We were, at the time part of the EU.

    But these people were not being fined because of their licences.
    They simply did not have the medical certificates that must accompany their licences.
    It’s Spanish law that you must have one.

    These irate drivers were too ignorant to know the law and too stupid to talk to the police or read what was written on their fines.

    Every week I come across people who don’t know their own addresses.
    They are unsure which is their house or plot numbers.
    They only know the route from the airport to their homes.

    In bars, restaurants and supermarkets I see and hear the frustration of the Spanish staff who cannot communicate with the British.

    Some of these ignorant cunts manage to live their entire lives here.
    Many fuck off back to Britain once they ger too old and infirm as they are unable to speak to the excellent Spanish doctors.

    The Spanish people are generally non confrontational.
    They simply try to ignore the British.
    To them, the huge British communities do not exist.
    They would never go to them.

    They are not aggressive towards the ignorant British, but they consider it absolutely incredible that so many can live for so long in their country without learning a word of their language.

    • You are a character from Eurosoap “El Dorado” and I clam my £5 Julio Iglesias greatest hits voucher👍

    • How do most of the Spanish treat you? I hope they don’t lump you in with the thick cockney gangster types who can’t be arsed to learn the lingo.

      • I get treated very well.
        I can drink and eat for nothing in a few of my local bars.
        Not all of the time of course, but the bar owners show their appreciation if I have helped by translating their menus, for instance.

        I get job offers reasonably often from Spanish companies who would like me to work with British clients.

        Fenosa, the equivalent of British Gas (as it once was) wanted me to work in their Barcelona offices, offering me a good salary and accommodation.

        My shipping agent wanted me to work with them in the lead up to Brexit, handling British clients who would want to sell up here and go back to Britain.

        I have my own business here. Fully registered and tax paying, but appreciated their gestures.

        I will be asked to translate in bars quite often where some thick, British cunt will be trying to order something like a lager top, a snake bite or a spritzer.
        Even the best of English speaking waiters have no idea what those drinks are.

        All in all I can say that I do OK.
        It will be rare, especially in the summer if I go out and don’t get at least one free drink in the places that I visit.

    • I spent eight years integrating in Switzerland; spoke French (lived in Lausanne), basically behaved myself (I am a fairly well brought-up Surrey Belinda, always write “Thank You for having me” letters after the riotous Reigate orgies, don’tcha know…), travelled round on our 1/2 price railcards. Quite a few friends said that after the first six months, we knew CH better than they did!
      One snarky individual asked why we didn’t live in Montreux with all the other Brits.
      It’s like fooking Blackpool, but with bling on top. Eggands driving round in Mercs and BMWs, with diamanté furry dice, and m>&-~t pooches with bejewelled collars.

    • Artful, in the past when I was able to travel overseas, which I did frequently in unencumbered joy, I always made a point of learning how to say a few things well.
      Thank you
      Good morning/afternoon/evening
      Please
      Two beers
      Same again
      The bill, please.
      It’s just good manners, and it’s appreciated.

  15. With the Qatar World Cup coming up at the end of this year, i think we could see a few brits encountering the joys of a foreign legal system. Apart from the pissed up hooligans, there’s bound to be some virtue signalling cunt (apart from the players) who’s going to push Arab patience too far. A few utterly pointless human rights, wimminz rights or gay rights demos should do the trick. Then we’ll have the mummy and daddy of Penelope or Tarquin on the news every fucking night whinging about injustice, whilst their sons and daughters are being fucked up the arse by the inmates of a Qatari prison. Bring it on. I could do with a laugh.

  16. Who would want to abandon his own dear country?

    A true Englishman must be out of his mind to do so.

    I know it is a shadow of its former self.

    But, who needs a passport, when we have the Lake and Peak Districts, and the North York Moors?

    • I agree.

      Those are beautiful places. Wonderful green scenery.

      Green because it rains almost every fucking day.

    • The coastal paths of Cornwall, the beaches of the West Country, Snowdonia, The Scottish mountains and Loch’s, the Lakes and green fields of Northetn Ireland…..,
      😀👍🇬🇧

    • Don’t forget E. Anglia, the Fenlands, Lincs & c. Bags of character (not ALL pikey…). A massive thumbs up for Northumberland. Cragside is stunning. Fantastic house in amazing grounds, and with its own hydro power plant. Armstrong really was a Great Man.

  17. There are so many beautiful places in this country.

    And the good news is, our foreign friends don’t seem to be interested in them.

    • I don’t think that is true.

      Foreign people love to travel and the places mentioned are truly stunning.

      However, those places are generally not promoted abroad and even if they were, how many pub owners and bar staff in those places can speak to their potential customers in French, German, Spanish etc?

      • Sorry Artful.

        I should have been more specific.

        I was referring to the darker hued
        natives.

        I’ve noticed the Japanese seem to seek out our tourist spots.

        They are more than welcome.
        Well dressed, polite and reserved.

      • I understand now.

        The nomination is about ignorant ex pats abroad, but it must be remembered how many ignorant British business owners there are in the UK.

        Even in the best of hotels in London there will be no staff that can communicate in any other language than English.

        In more rural areas non English speaking visitors are at a total disadvantage.

        However I have found that in almost every other European country, hospitality staff can speak at least a few languages, including English.

        My Hungarian hairdresser can speak 6 languages reasonably fluently, she says. I believe her.

      • Hungarians are excellent at integrating – I lived in Vienna for two years, and despite the historic Dual Monarchy link between Austria and Hungary, Hungarian language was not on City of Vienna official website, whereas Czech, Slovak, Slovenian, Polish, and countless others were. Hungarians are generally excellent linguists, because… how many non-Hungarians speak Hungarian? It poses… unique problems. Eastern European, but defo not in the slavonic group!
        Timea Bacsinszky gives me the ‘orn something rotten…

  18. Thankfully, out here in Asia you can spot the stupid fucking expats as soon as they step off the plane! If it’s not the ridiculous ENGGGGERRRLAAAAAAAND football shirt it’s the snot nosed kids or fat, vulgar wife! Fucking wankers the lot of them. Watched one get a fucking good kicking from a Thai MMA fighter last week. The Thai was desperately trying to calm the daft cunt down and insisting he didn’t want trouble, and I even stepped in to explain that he really should reconsider, but Mr ENGGGGGERRRRRLLLAAAAAAND thought he could have him. I’ll put the video on YouTube in a few days! The screams from his fishwife are quite epic!

    • Ooh. Please put the link up here Mr Foghorn.

      I love seeing IIIINNGERRRLAAAANND wankers taking a well deserved hiding.

    • Yep, same here. Always makes for a good laugh for these so-called hardcore England fans get a real good kicking from their genial hosts.

      I know that some England hooligans found out the hard way what football violence was all about when they tried to take on some Russian hooligans a few years ago. The Ivans don’t fuck about and are well solid, and pissed all over the England fans, most of whom were running for their lives.

    • I hate those violence videos, but I love the ones where a genuine hardman or pro fighter is compelled after pleading to knockout an out-of-shape shit-gibbon.

  19. Best to be on the safe side – only ever visit foreign places wearing a pith helmet and brandishing a Lee Enfield – and if Johnny foreigner is too lackadaisical and lazy to learn a decent language, eat proper food and drive on the correct side of the road that’s hardly my fault now is it?
    Lazy shifty no good foreigners..

    • Agreed Vern.

      Unfortunately this all comes unstuck when you have had a head on collision, while driving on the correct side of the road and the local police find a loaded Mk IV SMLE on the back seat.

      I did try and explain this to the Paris constabulary during my last invasion attempt. Using very slow language and hand signals insisting they wave the white flag ‘right fucking now!’ But the ignorant cunts were having none of it.

      Bloody foreigners.

      Liberation is too good for them.

  20. As always, ther are twats an sensibles. MOST of us ex-pats obey the law and sccept that things are different. The tiny minority who expect a place to be a second Blighty in the sun, and worse get the newspaper headlines as a poor downtrodden Brit, are our worst nightmare. Like when we left the EU. It was very simple – re-register as a a non-eu citizen and there you go! Done. The small number of cunts who insisted it didn’t apply to them “cos I’ve lived here 15 years”, got EXACTLY what they deserved.

  21. I lived in England for 2.5 years during the 90s. I loved it and think highly of the place and its people. I would not have dreamed of breaking any law or convention of the society I transplanted to. Why anybody would, could or does continues to baffle me. I know drug smugglers are greedy cunce who deserve their comeuppance. And if homos expect everybody to “celebrate” their deviant lifestyle choice they are deluded cunce. As cliche as it is … when in Rome.

  23. As an expat myself in the NE US I’ve never felt anything but welcome by the natives here. By natives I mean actual Americans with more than two generations under their belt, not all the other recent arrivals.

    The main remark I get is about my accent, never any grief about taking a skeptics job or anything like that.

    I think for most natives are just happy to see an immo with a pale hue, since we’re outnumbered about 100:1.

      • Still waaay lower taxes, for the time being anyway. The Donald gave me something like an overnight tax cut of 9% in his first year. The economy went crazy as people had more money. Obviously affluence could not be permitted or people might start getting ideas about not being dependent on government for everything.

        Apart from that in increasingly feels like the lunatics are running the asylum. But the thing is it very much depends which state you’re in. Ask IY, you might get a very different perspective.

    • Ahahaha! I’ve waited years to finally see someone else post their name instead of their ISaC handle.

      I managed it quite a long while ago while tanked out of my skull.

      Kudos to you Sir 👏 👏👏

  24. I’m worried about bellend Barrys who will be jetting off to Qatar in November for the World Cup. If I see one shirtless lobster-body spazmo jumping about the streets of Doha pissed out of head before the Iran game, I’ll put my head through telly. Those cunts better play the white man and know that the cells of Qatar are not pretty, think Midnight Express, “Crazy Colin”.

    • I’m actually looking forward to that, Through A Glass.
      Bound to be at least one.
      Then years of bleating from friends and family to bring our boy home, and why aren’t the government doing more?
      Well, mainly because “your boy” broke thier law, and they don’t have another £45 billion spare.

  25. This nom is easily extended to include the oft mentioned “Don’t like it here? Then fuck off back to where you came from” brigade.

    English and South African migrants are particularly keen to tell you how magnificent and endearing their home countries are, and what is so very wrong with whatever country they’ve chosen.

    Begs the question, why fucking leave then?

    Whinging cunts to a man/woman/tranny and “fuck off back to where you came from”

  26. I fucking hate ex-pats. I have met a lot of them. All they seem to talk about is how much money they are making and how good life is in Dubai or Bahrain etc. Fuck off you mongs.

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