Dead Pool [352]

Congratulations to Gelderd_Ender who has won Dead Pool 351 by picking the legendary US Singer Roberta Flack who has died today aged 88. Flack was best known for number 1 hits such as “First Time Ever I saw your face” ,”Killing me Softly” and “Feel like making Love”.Flack was diagnosed with motor neurone disease in 2022 and had to retire with immediate effect.

On to Dead Pool 352

The rules:

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next.No duplicates and it is first come first serve.You can always be a cunt and steal someone elses nominations from the previous pool.

2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt who we will ignore.

3)It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

4)No switching picks mid pool unless they have already been nabbed by someone else.

5)Hits are awarded based on chronology of death reporting not necessarily in chronology of death.

Natalie Cuomo


Funny female comedian is one of those misnomers like honest politician or working royal and US comedian Natalie Cuomo didn’t do the sisterhood any favours when a rant at a gig in Washington D.C. went viral earlier this month.

Now, I don’t know anything about her material which I’m assuming is about as funny as a ballbag in a zipper, but this was about her response to a heckler in the audience. She suggested a man and his friend sat in the audience were a gay couple, he objected and she called him ‘afraid’ of being called gay he then said it wasn’t his fault she didn’t have better material.

Cue full on girl boss mental feminazi rant, screaming inches from his face, “There’s so many people coming together to be supportive. No, look me in the eyes! You’re putting fucking negative energy out there! This is the last show of my fucking weekend, look me in the fucking eyes! Its a sold-out show and you want to say mean shit to me? Don’t fucking do that!”. Ok, someone needs a chamomile tea in the greenroom.

YouTube 1.

Being heckled is part of the deal, a comedians quick wits and ability to think on their feet and make hecklers look a fool in front of the rest of the audience shows their skills as a comic. This was neither funny or clever, just a brattish tantrum over some fairly tame criticism. “When they put teeth in your mouth they spoiled a perfectly good bum” – Billy Connolly. Now that’s a riposte Natalie.

Needless to say if this had been a man screaming in a woman’s face it would have been a hate crime and he would have never darkened a stage again.

A bonus link of an actual funny and rather attractive woman.

They do exist!

YouTube 2.

Nominated by : Liberal Liquidator

Complaining About Inheritance Squandering


But Mum, you’re squandering MY inheritance!

Her Family News.

Now, am I alone in thinking that the money in my accounts is mine, to spend as and when I think fit?

I have just been watching Heartbeat, and one character ( about 40) was berating his father for this, so I had a little Google, and I can tell you that the link is one of very many.

How have we raised a generation that would rather see their parents penny pinch, instead of being warm, well fed and comfortable, so they can benefit from their parents good sense?

A few months ago, I was complaining about hair loss, now I’m wondering about my sanity.

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

The Immigration Tribunal


I am incensed by the report that the Immigration Tribunal allowed a convicted Albanian criminal to remain in the UK on the grounds that it would be “unduly harsh” on his 10 year old son who does not like the chicken nuggets served over there. This was enough for the Tribunal to allow his appeal on the right to a family life provisions of the Human Rights Act.

The scum in question, Klevis Disha, 39, came to the UK illegally in February 2001 as a 15-year-old unaccompanied child. He used a false name and falsely claimed to have been born in Yugoslavia. He married another Albanian illegal immigrant here in the UK, had a family, including chicken nugget boy, and was then given UK citizenship. He then went on to rob £250,000 and was jailed for it.

The chicken nugget refusal is being appealed. No doubt it will be upheld by the Immigration appeals tribunal and the family permitted to remain, thereby further enhancing our brightly coloured, glorious multicultural society.

No need to worry. Diversity is our strength.

Standard. (Link by Night Admin. The original GB News link didn’t work – NA)

Nominated by : MMCM

The Return of the Combover


What’s with powerful world leaders and the combover?
When did being honestly bald become bad?

Benjamin Netanyahoo, has one.
Like a Jewish stately Bobby Charlton.

Donald has one, but it’s a intricate one.
You can’t tell where it starts from or ends?
Think he combs it up from his arse and back then across his scalp to get that candyfloss look?
Sort of a beehive hairdo.

I’ve noticed them creeping back more and more,
I hoped it had stopped after Arthur Scargill,
His was done by a small team of roof thatchers, and was good for 40years.

Just be bald.
No shame in it.

Heterosexual actor Will Smiths missus is bald.
She’s not arsed!
And she’s a bird!
Looks like a advert for Cadbury creme eggs
Does she care?
Does she fuck.

Come on lads, stop with the combover it fools nobody.

Nominated by : Miserable northern cunt