Phobias (i.e. an extreme or irrational fear of something) are at best unpleasant, and at worst, utterly debilitating. They can make life unbearable if they get out of control.

I should know. Ever since enduring a prostate cancer scare a few years ago, the very mention of the word ‘cancer’ puts me in danger of shitting my pants. I’m carcinophobic. The wife’s an arachnophobe; the mere sight of even a tiny little money spider reduces her to a gibbering wreck.

Phobias come in all shapes and sizes, and are often weird and wonderful. You might be scared of clowns, in which case you’re coulrophobic. Petrified of string? You’re linonophobic. The list goes on and on…

But here’s a new and truly bizarre one for me though. Emmerald Barwise, a 36-year-old model, admits to being ‘poophobic’ **. Indeed, the lass is so troubled by the problem that she once collapsed on a photoshoot after baking one for an amazing two weeks. Struth.

I do draw the line at her going on C4’s ‘Know Your Shit; Inside Our Guts’ to bare her soul on the subject; there’s such a thing as too much information. Nevertheless, speaking as one who regards a sit on the bog with a good book to hand as the spice of life, I can only imagine the trauma that the poor lass must endure.

Poophobia must be a terrible burden to labour under every day, and I’m sure that I speak on behalf of all of IsAC’s membership when I extend deepest sympathies. Just let it all go girl, let it all out. Trust me, it’ll be a load off your mind.

** Yes there is indeed a medical term for it; it’s called ‘coprophobia’.

Daily Mail News Link

Nominated by: Ron Knee

(Header pic not totally related, but couldn’t resist the offer of 2 cunts for the price of 1 – Day Admin)

Another cunting for Jeremy Vine, the cunt claims a motorist turned left in front of him forcing him to brake hard,

Bollocks, watch the video.

Jeremy Vine should get eyes tested, just proves he rides like a twat, he should have been more observant whilst riding, then he would have seen the motorist indicating in plenty of time before turning left.

So much for the Detective Superintendent Head of Crime & Intelligence claims, in other words the motorist should have waited in his lane like a sitting duck until all buses & cyclists has passed, great he causes a blockage in his lane or someone blind as Jeremy Vine slams into the back of him.

A bit of advice (J.C.T.V) Jeremy Cunt Twat Vine GO TO SPECSAVERS, A.S.A.P

Wales On Line

Nominated by: Dirty Harriet

And here’s one from CuntyMort

For your consideration, It’s our Jeremy Vine again. How can this BBC apparatchik manage to dress himself in the morning?

Jeremy a word of advice, the fucking world does not revolve around you. Surely you are capable of recognising an adverse road situation?

Here’s some simple advice treat EVERYONE on the road like an idiot. You wont be disappointed believe me. Motorists today have to watch out for everyone else let alone watching out for you on the suicide run.

Just to vaporise the cunters piss still further Jezza the bellend has one of those homo gopro’s on his swede.

Did I mention he is a cunt as well? Fuck him and that gaylord cycle.

Daily Mail News Link

The long awaited ‘National Health Scandal,’ (and certainly one of their worst) is after all these years, about to be wrapped up. I

nfected blood, that wasn’t properly tested. An estimated 38,000 people inadvertently got HIV as a result. Many would have died well before their time. A lot got stigmatised as being a bum bandit, even though they were straight. It could strike anyone.

I remember The well known tennis player Arthur Ashe, a ‘buttoned down hetersexual’ who in 1988 learned he had the virus from a blood transfusion following a heart operation back in 1983, and did not live to make old bones.

It did not discriminate between age, colour or sex, so women could get it as well.

Was it racist, sexist, climate change, or something else back then? Not sure of any of those factors, but it certainly started out as homophobic, I recon that was for sure.

BBC News Link

Nominated by: Lord Scunthorpe

Last night I got involved in a rather heated discussion on a forum not too dissimilar to this one (Turncoat – NA). The subject matter in question was the justification for adults to have consenting sex with children way below the current legal age of 16.

There were two posters who were trying to suggest that the consenting age should be reduced to the age of 11 or 12. Their justification being that kids today are far more “mature” compared to kids of bygone generations. On top of that they suggested that in some countries around the world, the age of consent is around 12-14, or even 9 in the Maldives!

Population U News Link

They also said that since kids are now being taught the benefits of deciding their gender and being told at a very early age that they should “discover their bodies” with the help of their parents, teachers or people who are attracted to children (hence the term MAPs rather than resorting to the “offensive” term, Paedophiles)

Fortunately, the majority of posters, including myself, shouted these cunts down. And eventually the entire thread was removed by a moderator. But I suspect we haven’t heard the last of this shit – possibly the very last taboo that these cunts want to legalise.

This isn’t helped when you have twats like Nicola Sturgeon wanting to let kids as young as 5 or 6 to decide their own gender. The gradual watering down of keeping kids safe from the grubby, manipulating hands of sick adults becomes ever more intense as the days and weeks go by.

The sexualisation of young children is of even greater concern. It’s one thing for girls in their early teens dressing up and slapping on the make-up in order to look older. But now we have preteens doing the same thing, quite often with the consent of their parents.

Is nothing sacred anymore?

Nominated by : Technocunt

Last night the wife and I sat down to watch ‘The Bridge at Remagen’, a film we hadn’t seen in years. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with this flick, let me say that it tells the story of the battle for control of the Ludendorff Bridge over the Rhine during the last days of WWII. It’s a cracking watch, with a great story, strong performances, terrific battle scenes, and… Robert ‘Man from Uncle’ Vaughn.

Now don’t get me wrong. Vaughn does a decent turn as the sympathetic, world weary German officer tasked with defending the bridge against the advancing Yank army. Trouble is, he can’t resist lapsing into a daft ‘ve haff vays’ parody of a German accent which is as distracting as it’s irritating, and worst of all, unnecessary.

Afterwards this got us thinking about just how many other ‘cod’ accents have threatened to de-rail an otherwise good film over the years. Take that perennial favourite, PoW drama ‘The Great Escape’. Jame’s Coburn’s ‘struth g’day cobber’ Aussie sounds as though he’s got a mouthful of marbles. Dire.

Anybody remember Josh Ackland’s woeful ‘Sith Iffriken’ in ‘Lethal Weapon 2’, or the grotesque Yiddisher/German gabble of Olivier in ‘The Jazz Singer’? And how about Nicholarse Cage’s excrable attempt to ‘speeka di eetalian’ in ‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’?

Attempts at ‘Oirish’ have produced some of the worst offences. Think of ‘Tiny Tim’ Cruise in ‘Home and Away’, and Tommy Lee Jones’s laughable attempts in ‘Blown Away’.

The list is long, but I’ll wind up by referring to what is widely regarded by fans and critics alike as the worst fake accent in cinema history. Step forward Dick van Dyke, whose ‘indoobitably Bairy Boppins’ cockney sets the standard by which all others must be measured. Indeed it’s so awful that van Dyke still feels the need to apologise for it donkey’s years later. Indeed, the one thing that Don Cheadle’s mockney accent in ‘Ocean’s 11’ has going for it is that it’s slightly better than Bert’s.

Okay, I’ll leave the last word on the subject to Cary Elwes in ‘Robin Hood: Men in Tights’, who famously says ‘unlike some other Robins, I can speak with an English accent’. There’s a lesson there for film-makers, as this screen depiction of one of England’s greatest kings aptly illustrates…

YouTube Link

Nominated by: Ron Knee

(For shits and giggles, Day Admin – Top 10 Worst Movie Accents )