ALL fucking council employees are total cunts.

Traffic wardens are cunts; planners are cunts; building control are cunts; councillors are proper and complete cunts; the fuckin’ woman who answers the phone and goes “H’what department does hw’one require” is a cunt; the cunt that inspects the bins should be placed in the extruder from which said bins are, well, er, extruded as he is a nazi, fascist, blowfly loving cunt; the council van driving cunts are all cunts, in fact even the council offices are cunts. And the library. And the fucking cunting swimmin baths.

They are all………..CUUUUUUUUUNTS!!

Nominated by: iorek Byrnison

On the 29th May, in a massive kick to the testicles of democracy, local politicians in the Greater Manchester area decided which of the candidates will get to be the ‘interim’ Mayor of Greater Manchester. There will have been no election. Nobody outside the local political elite will have been allowed their democratic right to decide which candidate will get the job.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. Back in 2012 the people of Greater Manchester were treated to a referendum on the issue of an elected Mayor. We told the government that it could shove the mayor up its arse. We didn’t want one. It was a unanimous decision. And one that that posh cunt, Gideon Osborne has completely ignored, since we’re now having a mayor forced upon us. So much for democracy. At no point will the people of Greater Manchester be involved in this.

In case you’re wondering, the two candidates were, Labour man Lord Peter Smith. And….erm….Labour man Tony Lloyd. So there you go, democracy in action. Two Labour shitbags and no other candidates. You should also know that Lloyd also happens to be Greater Manchester’s Police and Crime Commissioner, and he will NOT be resigning from that post if he’s made Mayor.

It’s not just the fact that the wishes of the people of Greater Manchester were ignored that’s making my piss boil. It’s the fact that democracy has been well and truly shit on throughout. We’re not allowed to know what the salary of the Mayor will be, though it’s allegedly in excess of £100,000. There’s been no campaigning or public debates, or publishing of manifestoes, because the candidates haven’t been allowed to do any of that.

So Greater Manchester will be saddled with yet another layer of bureaucracy, that no one outside politics wanted. And we will be saddled with this useless twat until they finally allow us to vote in 2017. Or 2019. They haven’t actually decided yet. I have actually written to Numbers 10 & 11 Downing Street over this, expressing my anger at their complete and utter contempt for both democracy, and for the will of the people. No replies have been forthcoming. Even when I sent Osborne and Cameron an email each, expressing my opinion that they were arrogant, ignorant, over privileged arsewipes, (yes, I actually did that). What is the point in holding a referendum on an issue, if you’re just going to ignore it because you don’t like the result?

This is what will happen when we finally get the referendum on our EU membership. If the majority of British voters vote to leave the EU, that smug cocksucker in No 10 will simply ignore the result, and work with Brussels to enact some kind of stitch up. What really worries me though, is that if they can piss on the democratic process over something relatively minor, like a Mayor, they can easily do it over something more important.

Remember Friday the 29th of May 2015 is the day that democracy died in Britain. And I’m not being dramatic when I say that.

Nominated by : Quick Draw McGraw

Hypochondriacs deserve a good cunting.

I am not talking about those messed up hypochondriacs that need psychiatric examination. I am talking about them fucking feckless depressives with irrelevant superficial little ailments that clog up GP surgeries and hospital A&E departments.

Oh dear..my darling child son has a slight cough and bit of a fever temperature, I must see a doctor NOW. Doc…I’m so down and feel depressed and anxious…please help me. Oh…my tummy is rumbling and it hurts a bit – I may have a cancer tumour, I must rush to A&E NOW. Got a bee sting? Got an ankle sprain? Had a little accident and cut your finger requiring a dab of disinfectant and a plaster? Oh dear I must see a doctor NOW. I paid my national insurance, why should I pay 25p for a pack of supermarket aspirin to cure my head cold…I’m going to visit the doctor at the surgery and get some free prescription medicine.

Wishful thinking…If I was a NHS doctor I would tell these cunt hypochondriacs to stop wasting tax payers money and fuck off. There is nothing wrong with you.

On those rare occasions I myself get a cough, muscle aches, a stuffed or running nose I know it is cold or flu symptoms. No big deal. It’s all down to the vagrancies of the British weather, my life style or maybe germs from other people in the air and on surfaces. Cheap doses of lemon/ honey and/or a 3p paracetamol/aspirin tablet will quickly cure me. I am a chef by trade, but having such symptoms won’t stop me going to work either. (No worries people, I know what needs to be done to stop me or others cross contaminating any food in my kitchen work place).

Nominated by: Entopy

An old pal of mine who is a black cab driver says that hardly anybody speaks to him on the job these days. He just gets pricks talking shit into their mobile phones, or clowns pissing about on iPhones and other such shite.

Also anyone who talks/shouts on their phone while being served in a shop/pub/bank etc is a pig ignorant fucker…

Nominated by: Norman

I’d like to say a few words about people who use mobile phones in public. Or rather I’d like to say two words to them – fuck off !

I’m tired of hearing people on buses and trains prattling away about nothing and talking twice as loud as they need to. I’m sick of these cunts who can’t walk down the street without having their phone clamped to their ear, who can’t shop in a supermarket without giving someone a running commentary on what they’re doing.

English people used to be renowned for being quiet and reserved. Not any more. Now the whole fucking world has got to know every detail of their pathetic uninteresting lives. To these cunts I say – We don’t want to hear it ! You’re not impressing anybody ! Shut the fuck up !

Nominated by : Allan