Pizza leafleters, who have pushed thousands of the fucking things through my letterbox over the years are total cunts.

I fucking hate pizza, it looks like shit, it smells like shit and it tastes like shit. There’s more chance of me licking Gok Wan’s arsehole than there is of me ordering a pizza.

Nominated by: Allan

Anyone who doesn’t have their fare ready when getting on a bus is a cunt.

You’ve been waiting for hours for the piss-stinking, plebian-carrying, fat cunt driving mode of public transport to arrive. So why not sort out your £2.40 prior to the arrival of said bus?… Rather than waiting until you get on and then fish around in the bottom of your rucksack or handbag?

I’m waiting to get home and have a good dump…Every second counts.

Nominated by: Fleaboy

For those of you who don’t know, a ‘twearly’ is a an old codger with a bus pass who holds up the queue by trying it on to board the bus outside of the non-peak times the pass is good for. You often hear them say “Oh, I am too early?” Yes, matie, you are!

Hungary are definitely not cunts.

They have stopped the migrant cunts in their tracks, which is a job the Greek and Italian cunts should have done.

As a mark of my admiration and respect for the Hungarian anti-cunts I may well jump on a plane and visit their fine country, drink loads of beer and engage the services of what I imagine to be very reasonably priced prostitutes, thus bolstering their meager economy.

Nominated by: Fat Rich

Do Foxes eat Cats? Or more rather can they be trained to like feline meat?

I’m fucking fed of the neighbours cats shitting on the front street (in the piles of gravel that council workers can’t be arsed to sweep up no less) so that I can’t have the windows open in the front of the house, because on a hot day the cat shit stinks.

And I can’t sit in the back garden because the little cunts have tag team shitting contests in my herbaceous borders, which also smell ripe on a hot day.

I’m not allowed to poison them, or take them over to Derbyshire. Old Reynard and family like the bins but there can’t be much sustenance in them, maybe I could just fillet a few kitties and give him a taste for them…

Nominated by: The Captain

The come back tour – the last bastion of shite karioke pop bands!

Yes that’s right, after loosing their record deal they all disappear in to obscurity but usually 6 years down the line someone will mention a reunion on Twitter and before you can say ‘Don’t fucking do it” they have reformed, re-released their “greatest hits” and embarked on a tour to extract every last penny out of the brain dead cunts who bought their shit music the first time round.

The only people who make any money of these reunions is the record labels, they usually own the rights to the songs, thats why 1 Direction generated an estimated £800 million in commercial sales (TV, Movies, Radio, Tv etc) yet they will all be sucking and sucking dick for food scraps in 2 years time before declaring bankruptcy – cunts

Nominated by : shittyknickers