Now to blow me own trumpet am a pretty large distinguished looking old gent (and not so much orf the old) breeding will out ect ect. Country long went to the dogs but beyond the pale now. Unable to manoeuvre me old arse in to a retail premises these days without some poxy cunt in a high viz vest eye balling me. “Can I help you fella?” “You awlright fella?” “Oi.Lookin’ for sumpthin’ fella?” The last from a mincing arse rat in a charity shop.

Having hazarded me bollocks for both King and Queen and Country am now taken for a dodgy character by a breed orf door/store security cunts young enough to be me grandsons – not that I would have jumped their rancid minged grandmas in me drunkest hour in the darkest days orf the blitz.

Respect is a word foreign to the youth orf today and their inbred pound shop parents. Which is why I may blow from time to time. Hate this England orf little Hitlers with their ciftificates orf community development skills, inclusion workshops and risk assessment surveys. Fuck you one and all.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

( You might need some of these then, Sir Limply? )

I wish to nominate those poxy ‘Mens Fragrance ‘ ads.

For fucks sake come on! Do the the admen who make those fucking irritating things think we are that fuckin stupid. ‘Wear this stuff and you too will become a member of the ’beautiful people’! Errrr, no you won’t – you’ll still be Lee getting up to work your 10 hour shift down the abbatoir. And what’s with those hushed tones? Its just some poxy perfume ffs.

Oh and its also vastly over priced. Thats because its got the word ‘designer ‘ in it innit? There’s not so many of these idiotic ads around at the moment but just watch from late September they’ll be everywhere.

Nominated by: Ozymandias

IPSA, the supposedly independent body that is responsible for making sure that MP’s don’t get caught with thieving from the taxpayer, have recommended that MP’s get a pay rise. Of 10%. I’ll say that last part again TEN…FUCKING…PERCENT. And they wonder why they’re fucking despised. Who the fuck do they think they are, tube train drivers?

Most of these money grabbing have gleefully accepted their ludicrously unjustified pay rise. Some of them have actually complained that a rise that will see their pay rise from £67,000 to £74,000, is not enough. One Tory, whose name I’ve forgotten, insists that MP’s are grossly underpaid and should be taking home £104,000. A small number of them, including Nicky Morgan, have announced that they will accept the rise, but donate the 10% to charity. So at least a handful are trying to do something with it..

My biggest issue with this pay rise, is the size of it. Ten percent is a fucking enormous amount of money to give someone as a pay rise. I wouldn’t mind if it were given to people who actually deserve it, firefighters, paramedics, nurses, military personnel, etc. Unfortunately, public service workers, have had their pay rises capped at ONE percent. As far as I’m concerned, MP’s are not essential to the everyday running of peoples lives. Nobody will die, nobody’s life will be at risk if we didn’t have MP’s. The country would not grind to a halt, our island would not be at risk of invasion.

As far as I can tell, our MP’s are a bunch of twats, who only in parliament because they would be completely shite in a real job. The spend most of their “working” week sat in a centuries old room pulling faces, shouting, and making childish noises and gestures at the MP’s on the opposite benches. Fuck me, you could teach a monkey to do that. So why do these ignorant, arrogant, immature, thieving arsewipes think they deserve a salary of £74,000? It’s an obscene amount to pay the likes of them.

I don’t normally support strikes. But the next time firefighters, nurses, or paramedics walk out in dispute over pay, I will be firmly behind them. It’s just a shame that military personnel can’t strike. There really would be chaos then.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

’m in a right Cunt of a mood now. Not only have we National News coverage of A level results -as posted elsewhere- and the dippy recipients thereof, but after a bit of Googling I present for your edification a selection of Cuntworthy degree courses:

Parapsychology – various colleges
David Beckham studies – Staffordshire University
Surfing Studies – Plymouth
Doctorate of Philosophy in Ufology – Melbourne University B
Queer Musicology – UCLA
Star Trek – Georgetown University in Washington
Computer Games – Abertay
Golf Management – University of Birmingham

What is the fucking point. I suppose with a degree in Beckham studies you’ll be well fitted for cleaning the public bogs. Star Trek: a degree but not as we know it. Parapsychology: Defeating a two hundred foot Pillsbury Dough Boy, or two Jags Prescott which are pretty much interchangeable.

To hell in a hand cart is where we are heading.

Cunting Hell!

Nominated by: King Cnut

Cgagi Gladyng is a cunt… An inflatable toy shark is (his words) like an axe?

Taking a football fan to court for assault for hitting him over the head with it?

He said he became frightened as the Grimsby Town fans surged towards the pitch?

So why the fuck is this cock a security steward at a football ground?!

Fucking jobsworth health & safety Little Hitler soft shithouse cunt…

Noinated by: Norman