Superhero films are shit, aren’t they?

Oh look, another film with people who can fly and become invisible and women who are just as strong as men, actually, and science being twisted and time being travelled so much you end up confused, fatigued, and paralysed by the nonsense of it all while another perfect superhero with an American accent beats the baddie (usually white, often an English accent) in a baffling, nonsensical barrage of noise and computer graphics, brightly-coloured piss from the DC/Marvel abattoir, tiresomely devoid of dama and tediously bereft of humanity.

Why do they continue making these hackneyed cartoons? Who the fuck is paying to watch this predictable, insubstantial dogshit? Is Hollywood now only making films for 15-year old, spotty adolescent virgins? It’s the tat over and over.

Low-brow to the extreme and with paper-thin plots, they seem to be deficient of any purpose other than using special effects to bedazzle you out of ten quid. They have all the substance of a CBBC programme , they have the sophistication of an East-European drug dealer and are about as convincing as Diane Flabbot flogging her Christmas vegan cookbook.

Look, a new actor playing Spiderman…look Batman & Superman fighting someone….look Wonderwoman and Batgirl being tough without looking like muscley, gruesome bulldykes.

What about a superhero who saves England from a demonic bunch of frothing gangsters demanding an unreasonable ransom? How about one that takes on a cult of empty-minded zombie terrorists who believe in a deity that lives in the clouds? Instead we have clichéd, manufactured dross, warmed up for the current generation in ever-developing technology, 4-d cinemas, squirting water, vibrating the seats, continually bombarding you with music and saccharine sentiment to distract you from the absence of quality.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

It’s that time of the year for Christmas TV to be cunted….

The ABBC have those Bake-Off cunts, Mary Berry Mel and The Dyke, and Nadyia the sacred cow all over our screens during the next two weeks… Not forgetting Mrs Brown’s Cunts, the NeverEnders and Corrie murder and doom fests,The Vicar Of Cunting Dibley, Miranda Horse, that Michael McIntyre cunt, Jools and his Cuntenanny, and the day Doctor Who really does die (Fuck that PC Femsatapo Lezza shite that’s coming!)…

And no doubt there will be a special ABBC bit after the news that shows us the ‘meaning’ of Christmas: With a few peacefuls, transbenders, and an anti-Brexit message thrown into the mix…

Nominated by Norman

Breaking news

UK newest aircraft carrier built at a cost of £3,100,000,000 leaking after less than a month. Taking on 200 litres of sea water every hour.

Surely we would have expected at the very least that the ship would be seaworthy and watertight, this surely being a prime requisite for the job in hand?

FFS, can’t this country get anything right?

What fucking useless cunts.

Nominated by Willie stroker

Apparently not only should we be prioritising those with a degree, but we should be making a special allowance for single mothers with a degree. Sorry – if you choose to pop out a sprog and the father skips the light fandago out of existence then that is, sad to say, not the responsibility of any employer with regards accommodating your demanding flexible needs, and/or childcare.

Perhaps we ought to add this social problem to Blair’s already overloaded tab of cuntitude because after all, this silver-tongued demon did come across all evangalicunt about ‘ed-u-cashun’, and how University was for EVERYONE. No lub, it actually isn’t. Simple supply and demand – if we now have a plethora of grads holding certs in stuff like Biblical Studies, Town Planning and Transport Operations, and good olf Business Administration, then what jobs will they be walking into exactly?

Yours truly was a graduate during the peak fucking Blair years, and I had to pay my fucking dues for years after my graduation without question – no sooner had I doffed the cap then I was working in a waste plastics factory, then a fitted kitchen showroom, then a call centre before getting my money together and being able to move to where the professional jobs were in my field. Some hard graft and no mistake, but without the option of daddy’s millions, it was always understood to require more work than just grappling with library books.

These days, no fucker post-Uni wants to put in the hard yards. And the sorts of cunts you see within Question Time audience, crying that their 2:2 in Applied Underwater Basketweaving from Teesside University has landed them on the side of the ‘have-nots’, typify this level self-entitlement perfectly. These days it seems to be an aspiration for ex-students to both look, and behave like Corbyn.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Popular culture – what a load of cunt.

Music –Aimed at 12 year-old girls. Bland, repetitive, lacking excitement. Boy bands, girl bands and endless female warblers like Bouncy, Swift, Perry , Adele. Then we are presented with the phenomenally untalented Harry Styles and his solo career. Fuck me it was thin enough in his fucking supergroup of Cowelised, autotuned posers. Add in assorted rappers who actually think they are musicians and the picture is complete.

Film- Seems to be aimed at 12 year-old boys. Superheroes, cartoons. Batman vs Superman for fucks sake. Disneyfied, soppy, cloying animations for pre 12 year-olds and fucking Romcoms for post 15 year-old. Are no films or music intended for grown-ups anymore?

TV – Endless fucking badly acted, poorly scripted identikit soap operas. The whole ITV output is dire. The reality shows are not just targeted at window lickers, it is necessary to actually lick the window while watching.

Right-on shite and right-on shite comedians.

Everywhere you look popular culture has reached rock bottom. Until they think up more shite.

Nominated by Cunstable Cuntbubble