I’d like to offer a seasonal cunting for the Boxing Day Walkers.
Just fuck off with your pathetic Christmas bobble hats that you wear when it’s not even cold.
Wrapped up like you’re going out to climb Everest, you stand out like a right fucking cunt.
Why oh why oh why do you exist.
Walking happily along saying Merry Christmas to everyone you pass, just fuck off.
Nominated by Eboneezer McCuntface
Not in the Christmas spirit but I would like to cunt illegal migrants. More of the cunts rescued off the Kent coats today. BBC lead with a story about an 8 year old boy dying in US border security custody, now it does not say what contribution being dragged from Guatemala to the US border made to his death so we are left unclear whether he he died because US authorities negligence.
Another way to make look Trump look bad? What the hell is the President sposed to do? Copy Merkel and invite the fucking lot in? Are we meant to become the new Mediterranean sending out rescue boats daily encouraging hordes more to make the gamble?
We are not talking about people who have not crossed multiple safe borders to get here we are talking about people who look at the UK and the US as the promised land. They don’t want safety and security, they want the money, it’s the economy stupid.
South America is a shit hole, dog eat dog and streets not safe day or night in vast areas of the continent. Africa, we know about. Can we stop dressing these people up as desperate victims? Desperate victims stay in the first safe haven and don’t expose their children to risk day in day out for weeks or months.
The lot of them can fuck off.
Nominated by Sixdog Vomit
Did anyone see that crock of crap foisted on us by Al Bbceera the other night? The remake of Watership Down. FFS!!
Not only were the CGI graphics two dimensional and the backgrounds reminiscent of the sets from Crossroads, but I am forced to conclude that whoever drew the bunnies had never actually seen a rabbit.
The noses are too pointed, the ears too long and the back legs the wrong shape and size. In fact, they were clearly hares. Still, for 20 million quid of licence payers money, it was near enough…it’s only kiddie shit so the little darlings will never know the difference.
But hang on a mo! Parental warning! It’s much too violent for children to be allowed to watch. They’re not used to such scenes. It’s even worse than that Fortnite game they’re all playing. Especially after their parents were traumatised by the original!
What fucking planet are these cunts on? I watched the first ten minutes – which was a struggle in itself – and then switched off.
Watership Down? Watered Down Shit more like it…
Nominated by Dioclese
Shitney to Hobart yacht race.
Three weeks before boxing day the tediously repetitive media onslaught about this elitist wank has started.
Hearing these old money cunts and their trust fund rent boys bleat about their $100 million dollar tax write off yachts shits me unto tears. I most sincerely hope their fleet and numbers are thinned by any or all of the following;
A tsunami,
An asteroid,
An old Axis Japanese / Imperial German sea mine,
Off course Somali pirates or,
The KRAKEN!
Vainglorious Cunts one and all.
Nominated by Shackledragger Cunt
Xmas Lightshows
Xmas – advisedly. The notion that this time of year might be in any way associated with religion, morality or even good taste, has long been lost in favour of any excuse to buy as much Chinese electrical tat as your overdraft will stand. Christ – mass, it isn’t. Christ on a bike, it is.
Cunt opposite has festooned his bungalow, and next door’s (though maybe he bought that to provide a bigger support for his cuntribution to light pollution)) with fucking intertwined ropes of multicoloured light-emitting diodes, and added grim insult to foul injury by placing an illuminated plastic smileyface santa thing front and centre. This will be up for the next month, if last year’s only slightly less migraine inducing effort is any indication. The cunt will leave it up because it’s so nice – thousands of little points of semiconductor engineering being the pinnacle of nice. Said cunt doesn’t even have brats as an excuse.
I am aware that far worse examples of mindless seasonal despoilation of the nightscape exist, and here’s your opportunity to cunt them as they deserve. If the cunts want the Blackpool Illuminations they should fuck off to Blackpool. Cunts. May they entangle themselves in the wiring and fry.
Nominated by Komodo