Xmas lightshows

Xmas Lightshows

Xmas – advisedly. The notion that this time of year might be in any way associated with religion, morality or even good taste, has long been lost in favour of any excuse to buy as much Chinese electrical tat as your overdraft will stand. Christ – mass, it isn’t. Christ on a bike, it is.

Cunt opposite has festooned his bungalow, and next door’s (though maybe he bought that to provide a bigger support for his cuntribution to light pollution)) with fucking intertwined ropes of multicoloured light-emitting diodes, and added grim insult to foul injury by placing an illuminated plastic smileyface santa thing front and centre. This will be up for the next month, if last year’s only slightly less migraine inducing effort is any indication. The cunt will leave it up because it’s so nice – thousands of little points of semiconductor engineering being the pinnacle of nice. Said cunt doesn’t even have brats as an excuse.

I am aware that far worse examples of mindless seasonal despoilation of the nightscape exist, and here’s your opportunity to cunt them as they deserve. If the cunts want the Blackpool Illuminations they should fuck off to Blackpool. Cunts. May they entangle themselves in the wiring and fry.


Nominated by Komodo

13 thoughts on “Xmas lightshows

  1. I like them if they’re done well. There’s a team of volunteers where I’m from who do them every year in the town centre – they put a lot up but the amount is just about right to avoid it being tacky. There’s some guy round the corner from us who used to do a massive one on his house every year to raise money for a local hospice as well.

    • I should state that the guy I’m on about always turned them off at 10 to avoid interfering with the other residents sleep.

  2. I see Justin Welby ‘s been at it again. Telling us to forget tribalism, hatred and division.
    He’s preaching to the wrong crowd.
    Wants us to be meek I suppose.
    ‘ The meek shall inherit the earth ‘
    Fuck off.
    Let’s get those meek bastards.

    • By ‘the meek’ I think Jesus was referring to cockroaches, following the nuclear holocaust.

      • Really?…Well he’d be wrong…I have little doubt that there will be certain other survivors.

        🙂 .

      • Steady on Dick! I hope your alter ego don’t get to read that… things could get nasty…

    • Mrs Windsor had a word to say about tribalism too. But TBH I think she meant ISIS – once the globalists erode our national identity, she’s out of a job.

  3. The ones opposite me have blue and white blinking things.

    Don’t mind them but after an evening of imbibing fally-down water, when I get up forra quick “Pat Cash” in the night it takes a few seconds to realise that I’m not about to be arrested!

  4. Must be in a minority here. Isn’t that ludicrous display simply attention-seeking? I’m not bothered about town or village decorations, btw*, but the pissing contest between individual houses going way OTT. Passed one house last night which had worked a laser into the blinding, flashing, unignorable kitsch. Probably illegal, and certainly if it’s over a couple of milliwatts.

    * Twist my arm, and I might find better uses for my thinly-spread council tax, though.

  5. Most of the “Christmas Lights” brigade around here are the carol-singing, ” aren’t we a real community” type incomers. They arrange dreadful village-fun day events,plays etc. while organising objections when someone wants to put up a new shed. Appalling middle-management types in the main,they seem to think that their idea of a working rural community should take precedence over the reality.
    However, it puts me in mind of a local farmer who got sick of the low-flying jets from the nearby Army training camp. He climbed up on top of his shed and wrote,in 20 foot high letters “FUCK OFF BIGGLES”…..made it even worse he told me,apparently the buggers took to making 2-3 passes to point and laugh and,he swore, others deliberately diverted over to have a look. “Like living in fucking Dresden,1945,Dick” he told me. It wasn’t long until his shed was repainted.

    Fuck Off.

  6. Electrickery as Catweazle used to say. The original one not the beloved Labour leader. Electricity or electronics is out of control. It is ruining human kind almost- certainly ruining proper interpersonal communication. Basically there is a terrible future ahead with robots and implanting us with devices. I was near a field yesterday and could hear the pylon fizzing overhead. And all the insane inhuman things going on in the world and thought the world is going haywire.

  7. Christmas lights are fine when classily done or on the minimal side, but there is a cunt near us whose house is festooned with what looks like the entire fucking stock of our local Argos’s lights.

    They have the works – a massive, flashing Santa head, some spinning lights that resemble a cheesy 80’s disco, some stickman thing skiing down a slope and then the icing on the Christmas cake…….some flashing, epileptic fit inducing icicle lights that have been set to ‘twinkle’ at warp factor 1000.

    It is like they have thought ‘ RIGHT!! No fucker neighbour is going to do it bigger and better than we are!’ Well, mission accomplished there, cunts (bigger that is, but definitely not better)


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