It’s that time of year again when I find that I have to let off a bit of steam. So it’s it the ritual dinner? The incessant commercialism? Perhaps the bombardment of charity appeals? No. It’s much worse than that. Something truly evil…


What evil bastard saw fit to unlease this on the world!?! My house is being submerged in a sea of tiny little glittery bits of the fucking stuff. Wherever you go there’s a little something that sparkles and catches your eye. Christ on a bike, I even found some on my pubes the other morning. How the fuck did it get there??

Glitter is truly evil. I honesty believe that if there is ever a nuclear war and mankind is erased from the face of the Earth then in a million years time when the aliens find this lifeless planet they will look down a catch a glimpse of a tiny little something sparkling in the dying light of the sun…

Fucking glitter.

Nominated by Dioclese

Bag. Humbug.

25 thoughts on “Glitter

  1. If the West wants to defeat the peaceful hordes of the Middle East we need to dispel with tomahawks and drones and just subdue them with tons of glitter and drown them in Christmas commercialism along with Wizard on a loop at the White Cliffs of Dover.

  2. Knock Knock

    Who’s There..?

    Gary Glitter

    Gary Glitter Who..?

    Gary Glitter Who Fucks Kids….

  3. Glitter causes cancer. Copy to all social media and hope it goes viral.
    Bottle of Malbec waiting: Komodo out

  4. For info the cunt who invented this evil shit was a Yank (naturally) called Henry Ruschmann (I cunted the bastard recently). If he was still alive I’d like to drag him around to my house and make him lick his crap up, as it’s everywhere. Cunt.

  5. “Christ on a bike, I even found some on my pubes the other morning. How the fuck did it get there??”…..

    I shall resist the urge to give my guess. πŸ™‚ .

    All the best for Christmas and New Year,Dio.

    • Wax the pubes. That problem solved. Bono? Walking example of how you can’t polish a turd.
      All you can do is roll it in glitter.
      As a woman I have noticed that if you have one speck of glitter on your chest, some cunt with halitosis will be the one to get up close and try pick it off.
      Just because I unwittingly fielded glitter on my Mammaries doesn’t give every foul breathed cunt an excuse to pick it off.

  6. Glitter is just the same as napalm. They can both strip the clothes from a Vietnamese kid in a matter of seconds.

  7. Goodwill to all peacefuls is alive and well today with forty alone of the cultural enrichers rescued as they continue a perverse and backwards re-enactment of D-Day across the Channel.

    • Rescued and then summarily deported back to whatever shithole they’re from I hope?

      If they won’t say then we legitimately have the right to send the cunts straight back to France.

      Whatever the case, they’re not staying here!


  8. Prince Philip didn’t go to church with the rest of the Royal family this morning. He decided to stay at home – the grumpy old cunt

  9. Yeh, I saw something about that. The stark fact is that bongo will do the square root of fuck all about homelessness, personally.

    I rate Larry Mullen jnr from U2. You never hear a peep out of him in sjw bollocks and by all accounts is a very decent bloke.

    Depeche mode were clearly the better band.

  10. The proof glitter is pure evil is that there’s a service that will send an envelope full of the stuff to an unsuspecting victim of your choice, it’s designed so when you open it the little shiny bastards go fucking everywhere. Truly the ultimate cunt tactic. And much deserving of this cunting.

  11. Glitter is like herpes……you can’t get rid of the cunt.

    Even if you think you have rid yourself of every little speck, you will find the shite in your eyebrows or up your arse crack six fucking months later.

    Thank fuck we will soon be departing from this time of year, where that hideous stuff is literally on EVERYTHING.

  12. We just did pressie exchange. I got loads of good stuff. Had quite a lot of sauv blanc too and it’s still Christmas Day here. Lovely jubly. Back to Die Hard, more wine and a mince pie or several.

  13. Those poor cunts. Don’t they have it bad enough without that sweaty tramp warbling on like a seal with a hernia?

    Total cunt!

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