Category Archives: BBC

Mastermind

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Mastermind. I thought the rule is that you’re only allowed one go at it. I remember Magnus Magnusson having to tell the viewers why one cheat had been disqualified in the 1980’s.

But recently there was a woman who had been on it a few years ago. Rachel Neiman. How did I recognise her? 1) She’s blind. 2) she’s very fat. 3) maybe more memorably, she has bright pink hair. She won, as well, although her specialist subject was some Radio 4 sitcom (a euphemism for SHITE) of few episodes. Mind you, her general knowledge was pretty good.

Still, seems against the spirit of the show. Unless the BBC intend to let her enter as many times as she wants until she wins the fucking thing. I emailed them earlier regarding this, but considering their history of openness and transparency regarding such things, my breath is not held.

Nominated by: Guardian Hater

Eastenders Plot-lines

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Dr Legg returns to open a 7 day a week surgery.

Lofty will return with a heroin addiction and it turns out his dealer is Nick Cotton.

Arthur returns with a pyramid scheme involving timeshares in Magaluf, he will do a runner with the money before shagging Mrs Hewitt.

Sanjay & Gita will return on Ramadan and open an ISIS stall on the market much to Tricky Dicky’s disgust.

Dot will complain to Mr Popadopoulous and the laundrette will be converted in to a European brothel run by James Willmot Brown, cue another rape storyline

The Tavernier’s will return from Norwich as the token black family.

And of course, some of the classic woofters will return. Colin & Barry will return from Brighton looking to adopt kids but be forced to as Dot Cotton to be the surrogate.

Only a bunch of cunts could write this stuff!

Nominated by: Boaby

Posted in BBC

Susan Calman

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Susan Calman, lesbian Scotch BBC darling has been awarded series of her own on Radio 4 to continue to demonstrate what a desperately unfunny, chippy cunt she is. What CAN people see in her?

There is not much hope for Radio 4 really. Perhaps I should cunt them again? And that whining lefty cunt Jeremy Hardy. What a bunch of cunts.

Nominated by: Jack Savage

Robert Peston [4]

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This smug bizarrely annunciating pain in the gonads has been riding the BBC gravy train for years. The egocentric economics commentator cunt is currently stamping his little piggy trotters trying to hissy fit his employers in to paying him loads more moolah (a very good reason not to pay the licence fee) and threatening to take his talents elsewhere. Well fuck orf Peston I say and let us take a look at what the cunt has to offer.

The ugly tosser’s ego is legendary and precisely complemented by a scruffy and poorly dyed barnet. His mangling orf the Queen’s English is a crime against humanity so naturally the BBC PC Brigade has the cunt popping up all over the place. Had an ancient 2CV on the farm that would stutter to a halt like that in the rain then suddenly shoot forward full power without warning. Got £40 scrap for it. Peston’s manufactured pauses and strangulated vowels are the egocunt’s attempts to mask the simple fact that he does not know what the fuck he is talking about.

Pay the man another £Mill a year.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Censoring the telly

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Telly is getting censored all over the place. I saw a repeat of Steptoe & Son last week, and the line where Albert says about the bed salesman ‘He’s a poof!’ was cut out. Yet they let Kanye West say ‘Nigger’ about 150 times on the BBC.

Now The Simpsons? It’s getting absurd. There would be nothing left of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Till Death Us Do Part and Spitting Image if they were repeated today. BBC2 are supposed to put on a ‘classic comedy’ every afternoon but now they have exhausted their Frank Spencer repeats, this basically means endless repeats of Allo Allo (only worth watching if Yvette is in her undies).

The BBC won’t repeat It Ain’t Half Hot Mum: because of old Shutup calling his men poofs, and references to damn natives and char wallahs yet that Goodness Gracious Me shite is more disrespectful to Indians. I know a Sikh family and they hate Sanjeev Bhaskar, Meera Syal and those other cunts yet they love It Ain’t Half Hot Mum, because they’ve got the brains to know it takes the piss out of colonialism and British upper class in India.

Nominated by : Norman

Posted in BBC