Eastenders Plot-lines

dot-cotton-calendar

Dr Legg returns to open a 7 day a week surgery.

Lofty will return with a heroin addiction and it turns out his dealer is Nick Cotton.

Arthur returns with a pyramid scheme involving timeshares in Magaluf, he will do a runner with the money before shagging Mrs Hewitt.

Sanjay & Gita will return on Ramadan and open an ISIS stall on the market much to Tricky Dicky’s disgust.

Dot will complain to Mr Popadopoulous and the laundrette will be converted in to a European brothel run by James Willmot Brown, cue another rape storyline

The Tavernier’s will return from Norwich as the token black family.

And of course, some of the classic woofters will return. Colin & Barry will return from Brighton looking to adopt kids but be forced to as Dot Cotton to be the surrogate.

Only a bunch of cunts could write this stuff!

Nominated by: Boaby

Posted in BBC

Susan Calman

97e93120764b320274ef83aec07ef178200534d2

Susan Calman, lesbian Scotch BBC darling has been awarded series of her own on Radio 4 to continue to demonstrate what a desperately unfunny, chippy cunt she is. What CAN people see in her?

There is not much hope for Radio 4 really. Perhaps I should cunt them again? And that whining lefty cunt Jeremy Hardy. What a bunch of cunts.

Nominated by: Jack Savage

Robert Peston [4]

p02lmg00

This smug bizarrely annunciating pain in the gonads has been riding the BBC gravy train for years. The egocentric economics commentator cunt is currently stamping his little piggy trotters trying to hissy fit his employers in to paying him loads more moolah (a very good reason not to pay the licence fee) and threatening to take his talents elsewhere. Well fuck orf Peston I say and let us take a look at what the cunt has to offer.

The ugly tosser’s ego is legendary and precisely complemented by a scruffy and poorly dyed barnet. His mangling orf the Queen’s English is a crime against humanity so naturally the BBC PC Brigade has the cunt popping up all over the place. Had an ancient 2CV on the farm that would stutter to a halt like that in the rain then suddenly shoot forward full power without warning. Got £40 scrap for it. Peston’s manufactured pauses and strangulated vowels are the egocunt’s attempts to mask the simple fact that he does not know what the fuck he is talking about.

Pay the man another £Mill a year.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Censoring the telly

restrictions

Telly is getting censored all over the place. I saw a repeat of Steptoe & Son last week, and the line where Albert says about the bed salesman ‘He’s a poof!’ was cut out. Yet they let Kanye West say ‘Nigger’ about 150 times on the BBC.

Now The Simpsons? It’s getting absurd. There would be nothing left of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Till Death Us Do Part and Spitting Image if they were repeated today. BBC2 are supposed to put on a ‘classic comedy’ every afternoon but now they have exhausted their Frank Spencer repeats, this basically means endless repeats of Allo Allo (only worth watching if Yvette is in her undies).

The BBC won’t repeat It Ain’t Half Hot Mum: because of old Shutup calling his men poofs, and references to damn natives and char wallahs yet that Goodness Gracious Me shite is more disrespectful to Indians. I know a Sikh family and they hate Sanjeev Bhaskar, Meera Syal and those other cunts yet they love It Ain’t Half Hot Mum, because they’ve got the brains to know it takes the piss out of colonialism and British upper class in India.

Nominated by : Norman

Posted in BBC

Oisin Tymon

Oisin-Tymon

Like Clarkson or not, I think whiney cunts like that Oisin Tymon deserve a bit of a cunting.

Its an endemic problem in this country. Clearly production crew know the schedule and how long filming etc is going to take so if the ruckus was all over a hot meal at the end of the day, then some cunt deserves a fucking good kicking for failing to get even the simplest arrangement (nobody really knows what happened, so I’m only going by whats reported), that is to provide a hot meal at the end of the day. I can only surmise the ‘well thats all their is’ response was enough to tip Clarkson over the edge.

I did a pretty old school apprenticeship, and it was hard going. You had be aware of what was going on at all times and persistent mistakes that affected others meant that you would be ‘checked back into line’. Im not talking some Dickensian work place scenario, and fuckers that go on about bullying in the work place need a reality check, that seldom happens these days, unless of course being asked to do something not in your job description constitutes bullying and harassment. What we do have is the touchy feely, social, PC bullshit that leads the majority of the workforce to a massive sense of entitlement, not yet earned.

This is the reason fat Maureen down the council offices acts with impunity, because she does not have any fear of loosing her job, being disciplined or even actually having to do the job. We have a nation of fireproof cunts who can do and say whatever they like without fear.

I think more people should start kicking fuck out of frontline services staff and jobsworth cunts when they start to cop a shit attitude, because it might make the whole country a little more pleasant. I am still wary of my work impeding someone else’s and the prospect of getting a kicking for it focus’ the mind a bit better.

Clarkson maybe a loud mouth cunt, but in this instance he appears to have responded to cuntishness in general. Call me a cunt for defending him. But I’m tired of dealing with smug cunts telling me ‘thats just how it is’.

Nominated by: The Captain