The Isle of Man, home to Norman Wisdom, highly flammable holiday resorts and spážmö cats, that would be enough to cunt them for, but no, it’s now been decided that lockdowns be lifted on the island as case numbers have dwindled, the smug look on the bunch of 6 fingered, webbed toed cunts holding their pint glass in the boozer while mainland cunts are treated like fuckspangles is almost too much to bear, but I’m sure when cases rise rapidly they definitely won’t send there sickly serpents to us to treat will they, fuck these tax dodging cunts!!!!

(I’ll supply a link then – NA)

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/world/article-isle-of-man-residents-hit-the-pubs-to-toast-the-results-of-their/

Nominated by: Captain Quimson

I’m chucking a massive cunt into the mix here…football.

I love football, but I’m utterly fed up of the cunts who scream like small girls when they feel any form of contact whatsoever. I’m fed up of cunts pretending to be injured only to miraculously recover the second they’re awarded a free-kick, or reach the edge of the pitch. I’m fed up of the diving, and cheating and pretending to be double-hard bastards when someone insults the colour of their alice band and I’m fed up of them doing whatever-the-fuck they like, just because they’re young blokes with a fuckton of cash.

More than that though…

I’m fed up of Gary-fucking-Linekar and his sycophantic MOTD guests. I’m sick of commentators and co-comentators. I’m sick of listening to the God-awful slurring/spitting gibberish that counts as the scouse accent ala McMannaman and Carragher, I’m sick of Graham Souness dismissing every team except Liverpool, I’m sick of Gary Neville and Roy Keane dismissing every team that isn’t Utd and I’m sick, SO-FUCKING-SICK of seeing that Oasis cuntbag turning up at every-single-Manchester-City victory as if he masterminded it all himself.
Just won the FA Cup? How do we know? Because that buffoon with the crazy eyebrows is mincing about in the changing room like he scored the winning goal, cunt that he is.

I don’t know which commentator did it, but very recently I was watching a(nother) game of footyball when the commentator started spouting off about how much the players have done for us… “I for one would like to thank them all, for everything they’ve done and continue to do for the nation”, the silly bollox was saying this in reply to a comment criticising Jack Grealish (baby-oiled legs, shorts two sizes too small, alice band wearing CUNT) for drink driving. Imagine, a hero like “our Jack”, driving after having had a few sherbets, oh the humanity!

Footyball players are young blokes, we get that, and they get paid wanky sums of money to trot about kicking a ball whilst the rest of us work for a living, i get that too, but let’s not dress them up as the second-fucking-coming, because they’re not that, nope!
They play football, they get paid stupid amounts of money and drive about thinking their shit doesn’t smell. They spend £3000 on a Louis Vuitton bag (that they use as a shower bag) and they all, absolutely every-single-one of them, think they’re nails, just because they’re surrounded by cunts who are desperate to ride on their success.

Stop Diving, Stop Play Acting, Stop Acting like a massive spoilt child and you’ll be fine, otherwise, you’re a cunt.

As for Linekar et al… fuck off. Linekar in particular is a sanctimonious bawlbag. He uses his position to influence people and then, when questioned about it, claims that he’s allowed an opinion too – I get it, he is – but how about this. Instead of using your persona, your BBC tax-payer-funded persona (because nobody remembers him as a player) why not start spouting your intolerable bullshit via a fake Twitter profile? Perhaps even keep the same name, and then you’ll see EXACTLY what the rest of us think of you because, at the moment, you’re like the overpaid footyballers. You think the minions who surround you, who like and share your Tweets, are doing so because they agree with everything you write – nope – they’re doing it because they long to be noticed. They live for the hope that, one day, you’ll say…

“Hey, Gaz, thanks for sharing that Tweet about oppressed one-legged-black-migrant-paedophiles who desperately need help. Can I be your mate now? We can go down the pub together and you can even have a go on that young bird I’m knocking off after ditching Michelle. If you’re lucky my work-shy celebrity wannabe children will be around and they can be your mates too”.

The folk who agree with whatever sponsored bullshit you spout about on Twitter don’t actually give two fucks about your latest cause, you sanctimonious motherfucker, they just want to be your bestie. Wake the fuck up.

Anyhoo, that’s it. Basically anyone involved in or with football, is a cunt. Except us poor bastards who spunk £40 every week* to watch them.
Football is mega, it’s just everything, and everyone** around it that needs to change. Sharpish.

*When a virus isn’t trying to punch me in the bollocks, obviously.
**Excludes Ian Wright because he’s funny as balls. Also excludes Roy Keane when he gives someone a verbal slapping and basically calls them a cunt, because that too is amusing, although he’s still a cunt, because of the reasons.

Nominated by: Andy

(Spot the Gorilla! – DA)

Hello all my fellow counters, I want to nominate tessica brown, yes that’s right it’s not a typo, this dumb yank decided to use gorilla glue to stick her hair down, subsequently the dumb cunt tried to remove the with several attempts, landing her in hospital with doctors unsuccessfully trying to remove the glue from her hair, the dumb cunt is now attempting to sue gorilla glue company, they have released a statement that you should never use the glue on yourself, darwin theory says that this dumb bitch should never breed, the part of me that says gorilla glue she too its description too honestly, what a dumb cunt

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9238843/Woman-set-hair-Gorilla-Glue-wants-SUE-company-spending-22-hours-ER.html

Nominated by: Sidthesexistsforeskin

And seconded by Captain Magnanimous:

Tessica Brown is a cunt, isn’t she.

How dare Gorilla Glue not inform people to use their glue as hair product? That’s why Tessica Brown has hired a lawyer and might sue them, the irresponsible, uncaring (probably racist) bastards.

She attempted to flatten her frizz and when nothing else worked reach for this powerful adhesive. Clearly, Gorilla Glue should have indicated some sort of warning which would protect young ladies who didn’t know about potent glue and didn’t have much apetitude.

Wait a minute. She’s 40. A gown woman, and an “influencer” for Tik-Tok (Psh). She subsequently posted videos of herself at the hospital where they had to burn off her hair to try to salvage it. She must’ve gone bananas.

Here’s some advice: If you’re going to do ridiculously stupid things and use products for something different than it advertises, don’t humiliate yourself with videos advertising you’re a moron.

She’s learnt an important lesson here: Don’t be a stupid cunt.

…and thirded by mystic maven

Tessica Brown AKA the Gorilla Glue Girl.

You may have heard of this imbecile, if not, the story is that she didn’t have any hair glue left (something which some black women apparently use to glue their hair flat on their head), so she used gorilla glue instead and now has a head resembling a billiard ball. The daft cow went onto soshul meeja to bemoan her lot and to show the entire world just what a clueless cunt she is.

She has also created a crowd funding page so she can sue the manufacturers, presumably for her own stupidity. The saddest thing is that she has supporters who have apparently raised over $13,000 so far. They have also managed to bring systemic racism into the equation somehow. Another display of human regression.

I am pretty sure I am not alone on here in my tolerance and support for all things diverse, up to a point.

How thrilled I was to discover on the B(LM)BC webshite that it’s LGBT+ Fucking history day, no, week no, all fucking Month for fuck’s sake!

Oh come on! There’s a whole section of the cunts on coming out and how great a time they have in the showers and scrums and when they get caught short on Hampstead Heath, and that’s just the wimmin, the cunts.

The g*yness is everywhere in sports worldwide apparently whilst the T+, whatever the + is, is confined to those hilarious old Bounty ads and Brookside at the moment. Not a lot of trans peeps do synchronised swimming or play tennis it seems.

Perhaps the + is for people who can’t do maths like the Flabbopotamus and the rest of the sponging MP cunts. But that’s for another time.

I have a feeling Unkle Terry’s oven could be firing up.

Nominated by: Another Cunting Mess

Hardly a day goes by without an article about somebody wishing to rename something because they don’t like the people associated with the current name. I barely manage to get past the first sentences of these articles without being overcome by an overwhelming urge to cunt the ‘offended’ on this august website.

Today’s offering which makes my blood, piss, semen, sweat and spittle boil comes from Seaford Head School in East Sussex which wishes to rename houses currently named after Winston Churchill and J.K. Rowling.

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/19074602.seaford-school-drops-churchill-jk-rowling-house-names/

The idiotic pupils at this school believe that Churchill was responsible for “torturing many” and do not like Rowling’s “words about the trans community”. I suppose the teachers of this school also need a good cunting for failing to teach history and biology properly.

If this is how the younger generation is being raised, I hope that the human race will become extinct. These stupid young cunts should be sent off to the re-education camps in Xinjiang, China and force-fed bat soup until they learn what a great country the UK is and how many great people hail from these magnificent islands.

Nominated by: Hard Brexit Cunt