I remember when zebra crossings were zebra crossings. Safe places where traffic would come to a halt if you were hovering on adjacent kerb, and you could cross over unscathed, with a little nod or wave to the drivers if you were polite.
Now, zebra crossings have become ‘Colourful Crossings’. No longer a simple tool for urban navigation, but an opportunistic platform for activism by means of showing support for the apparently oppressed and under-represented by painting in some brain-fiddling colours. Mainly the alphabet people today (but who knows where it will go tomorrow: corporate-sponsored feel-good colours matching the cause of the moment? road murals of dodgy cultural ‘heroes’ ?! Etc).
All very well, but in practice, problems arise: motorists don’t recognise them now as zebra crossings, Met police service horses are jinxed by them, and they cause some disturbance to pedestrians especially to those prone to autism and/or epilepsy, for example. Not to mention that they are fucking ugly and incongruous, like graffiti with the added annoyance of zealous virtue signalling so it can’t be rubbed off.
If traditional zebra crossings trigger ‘offence’ in a woke person, said person will go on to publish a whiny tweet on Twitter in order to attract attention/upticks. Whereas ‘colourful crossings’ that trigger an epileptic person will result in them having a public and messy seizure, the calling out of an ambulance and their occupying a valuable and scarce bed in A&E for some hours.
The perpetually offended are but a tiny (yet loud) % of the population. The majority of sane ordinary people must therefore endure the erosion of common sense road markings and the removal of supposedly offensive decent historical landmarks, statues and street names.
It’s only a matter of time before what’s left of our kaleidoscopic and hugely creditable history ends up on the 4th plinth at Trafalgar Square as a tourist side-show.
Stand tall against these cunts before it is too late.
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*I feel inclined to add the caveat, that should the future thought police come prosecuting, when I wrote this in March 2022, free speech was still allowed / a thing.
Cunts.
Also, I know an epileptic who, like horses, find bright unnatural colours a tad of a pain in the jacksy for fear of bringing on ‘an episode’.
Nominated by: Fuckwittery
Seconded by: CuntyMcCuntface
I’d like to second this Nomination
Utter utter fuckwittery.
In the U.K. there exists (fortunately) a raft of laws governing the regulation of road signs.
And for good reason as they state the law and make it enforceable, ie a 30 mph sign in a red circle denotes exceeding it is breaking the law.
Pedestrian Crossings are the one place on British roads where the pedestrian has legal priority over the motorist.
As soon as you enter the controlled area, denoted by alternating zig zags you have to give way.
In order for this to be enforceable there has to be clear definition as to what constitutes a Zebra Crossing.
Currently if a motorist runs over a pedestrian in a controlled area they are automatically guilty and face a more serious charge than say Careless Driving.
However if the controlled area doesn’t conform to the law (on markings) then they wouldn’t be automatically guilty and definitely wouldn’t be guilty of committing an offence in a controlled area.
This is all covered by:
The Zebra, Pelican and Puffin Pedestrian Crossings Regulations and General Directions 1997
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/1997/2400/made/data.xht
The key section being:
PART IIROAD MARKINGS
Road markings
6. Subject to the following provisions of this Part of this Schedule—
(a)within the limits of a Zebra crossing the carriageway shall be marked with a series of alternate black and white stripes.
I sincerely hope that nobody is injured or worse on one of these Virtue Signalling Crossings but if they are I’d want to see the the Cunt Committee that commissioned it flogged.
