A cunting please for Konnie Huq.
The pointless former Blue Peter bimbo had an epic meltdown on the Jeremy Vine show this week and started foaming at the mouth and screeching the following demented refrain at her fellow guests – “Would you want Brexit to happen now if suddenly the new term was that everybody’s head got chopped off”.
WTF!!!!
Keep taking the pills, Konnie. Oh and by the way, you’re a cunt.
Nominated by Marvellous Mechanical Cunting Machine
Two items on the news this morning showing how the poison that is religion continues to infect the secular West:
1/ A pioneering heart surgeon Sir Terence English suggests it may be possible in a few years to transplant pig’s hearts into human beings. Apparently, some people have “religious scruples” about this.
2/ The World Health Organisation has stripped the UK of its measles-free status. Apparently, the MMR vaccine contains pig gelatine.
We all know that Heaven hates ham!
Seriously, this shit is still going on as we approach the third decade of the 21st century? I’m not against religious fucktards partaking in their religion so long as they keep their shit to themselves and, more importantly, pay for their shit themselves. I object in the extreme to religious fucktards interfering in serious issues like medicine and public health.
I blame religious fucktards for the pain and suffering my late grandmother and my wife’s late grandfather went through at the end of their lives because their imaginary friend doesn’t allow euthanasia.
Cunt off you fucking pricks.
Nominated by Lord Cunt’s Mate de Cunt 1st Earl of ISAC
Congratulations to rhe Duke of Cuntshire who scores his. first hit by predicting that arch dictator cunt Robert Mugabe would be the next cunt to shuffle of the mortal coil.
The rampant racist cunt ruthlessly stole farms from white farmers, converting his country from the bread basket of Africa to the basket case of Africa. His reign of terror ensured he won elections even when he lost. In short, the world is a better place without him.
On to Deadpool 142
The rules:
1)Pick 5 cunts you think are on the way out.No duplicates allowed.Anyone who nominates the world’s oldest man or woman is a cunt and will be ignored.
2)It is first come first serve.You can always be a cunt and steal other peoples names like Black and White Cunt frequently does.
3) It must be a newsworthy cunt we have heard of.
We’ve all seen them, in fact they’re hard to miss. The famous and not-so-famous, using their status to help flog some product or other.
There they are, with a shit-eating smirk and the sincerity of a used car salesman, telling how much of a difference it will make to our lives if we buy this, that or the other. There’s nothing new under the sun of course, and celebrity endorsements have been around for donkey’s. Who, for example, could possibly forget the nation’s favourite granny, Thora Hird, being put up to this one;
‘Churchill’s are the only stairlift company I trust, and I recommend them to you’
(translation into English; ‘they’re paying me loadsa money to use my name’)
Then there’s dear old Michael ‘Parky’ Parkinson feeding us this line;
‘We’d all like to leave something for our loved ones or to help with funeral costs, and with Sun Life Over 50s Plan, you can do just that. The first month’s premium is free, and you get a free pen just for applying’
(translation into English; ‘they’re paying me loadsa money to use my name’)
We all know why companies do it. They want an influential figure who they think ‘fits’ the product, and relates to the target audience. Suave George Clooney is there to give ‘Martini’ a sophisticated allure. On the other hand, Ray ‘Jack the Lad’ Winston is there to remind goggle-eyed SkySport watchers every five minutes that he ‘bets wisponsibly wiv bet365’. Horses for courses.
Naturally Joe Public is meant to be reassured by the sight of a well-known face fronting up a product. They’re famous, right? They must be nice, we can trust them not to try to dupe us. Definitely. So ‘Parky’ punts a saving plan to gullible oldies, even though ‘Which?’ magazine and other consumer groups warn that it’s a fucking shit deal which commits you to pay the premium for life, and will probably pay out less than the sum paid in. And we can all remember Mr Savile back in the day, urging us to travel on British Rail. Such a nice, decent man. Then there was good ol’ John Peel, still telling us that ‘it’s an Equitable Life’, even as the company collapsed into ruin. I was one of thousands caught out by that campaign, but I bet you got your cash, you Scouse cunt. Still we keep falling for it. Must do, because companies continue to pour millions into the pockets of people who’ve already got loads; to persuade us to shell out our hard earned on stuff we probably don’t really want or need, just so that we’ll think we’re in good company.
Fuck off you devious, manipulative, avaricious cunts.
Nominated by Ron Knee
The Sunday fucking Times
Have cunted this before for its smug Home Counties/London up it’s own arseness, but today (18/8) it has excelled.
It has decent opinion columns but has always pushed project fear in ‘News’ and Business. Today it devotes the front page and the first four inside pages to a leaked report which basically say we are all no-deal doomed. Doomed I tell you. We will starve, queue, sicken, go bankrupt and die. The channel ports are fucked (as usual, we don’t seem to have any others) Ireland will explode.
The report is codenamed ‘Yellowhammer’, and guess where it came from? Yes, correct – the Treasury, Whitehall etc.
Reporters pissed up in a London wine bar with civil servants no doubt. As usual.
Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble