A let’s all hear it cunting for one of IsAC’s favourite sons, David ‘Rent a Gob’ Lammy, MP for Tottenham. Big Mouth Dave is apparently very concerned about the incidence of knife crime. After a couple of recent stabbings in his neck of the woods, he told the Commons ‘I don’t want the south side of Chicago in Tottenham’.

Now fair enough, you might say, an MP should be concerned about knife crime. But here’s the rub. BMD reckons that knife crime could get ‘considerably worse’. What, you may ask, could be responsible for this predicted escalation? Well, as you are all painfully aware, we’re (supposedly) leaving the EU. This is going to mean (apologies to the Gershwin brothers) that the Rockies will tumble and Gibraltar will crumble etc. We’ll have awful shortages of medicines, fuel, food and bog rolls. As if all this wasn’t bad enough, BMD predicts that BoJo’s Brexit deal will ‘mean everything’ to areas with ‘high poverty rates’, because it will lead (at least according to him) to ‘a drop in GDP’. So, gazing into his crystal ball, he can’t wait to tell us that as a consequence, knife crime will go up, and that naturally, this will be down to… Brexit.

But… hasn’t the occurrence of knife crime in our beloved and glorious capital already escalated to scandalous levels in recent years, and haven’t we been in the EU all that time? Aren’t we still in the EU? It must follow then, that our EU membership is in fact responsible for the epidemic of knifings currently staining the reputation of good ol’ Landan tarn. Yes, Dave, on the basis of your logic, the disgusting level of knife crime in London is, in fact, down to our continuing membership of the EU. What do you mean, it’s illogical, nay ludicrous, to link the incidence of knife crime in the Smoke to our EU membership in so simplistic a fashion? Well raise mah rent, you’ve worked it out.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Time was when ITV newsreaders would simply do their job, ie sit up straight, speak clearly, wear a jacket and tie and read the news. We all knew Reggie Bosanquet and Alastair Burnet appreciated a few pre-bulletin sharpeners “A G&T but forget the tonic “ but these blokes had real world experience and some fought in wars. Sandy Gall spent years embedded with the Mujahadeen in Afghanistan long before it was fashionable and even had the pineapple face worthy of a few shrapnel wounds.

What do we get now? A right bunch of fairies of which Tom bloody Bradby is Exhibit A. No mate, I don’t want to see you dabbing your eyes and expressing your opinions at the latest Syrian atrocity, I don’t care that you’re best mates with Mr and Mrs Hewitt (*) and I certainly don’t give a flying shit about your over-publicised ‘battles with insomnia’, still less read your latest novel.

Tom Crybaby….the very template for modern day emoting and self-entitled opinionating. And you and the rest of your ilk can stop waving your arms around whilst you’re at it.

* 90% of whose woes are entirely self-inflicted

Nominated by Isaac Hunt

A code hopping cunting for Sonny-Bill Williams.

This archetypal professional money grabber, excuse me, professional sportsman, goes wherever the grass is greenest and the media spotlight the brightest.

His first appearance on the scene was as rugby league player for the Canterbury Bulldogs. After deciding $400,000+ aussie dollars a year wasn’t sufficient for a player of his legendary abilities, off he fucked to French Union to milk them dry. A couple of years playing for a French club team apparently made him world class, so up he popped in the All Cunts team for the 2011 world cup. What a hero.

A year or so after, he wandered on back to the ARL with the Sydney Roosters.

Fast forward to the next Union world cup cycle and Monkey-Bill decides there is more money in the dog forsaken Haka and associated bullshit and off he goes again.

A bit part player a best, who’s only two “talents” are a shoulder charge tackle and a one handed off load….easy when you’re a knuckle dragging cunt to begin with.

In the interim this half witted wank-stain pretended to be a boxer, and his greatest achievement was getting chinned at the weigh in by Francois Botha, which buckled the fuckwits knees.

Wanker, money-grubber, half wit and MudSlime convert. I rest my case.

Nominated by KiwiCunt

Proctor and Gamble are cowardly cunts.

They have vowed to remove the female symbol from the packaging of their ‘Always’ brand sanitary towel, following complaints from a couple of women, who now call themselves men, but still require the monthly services of a snatch plaster. This is going to be one of those stand back and enjoy the fireworks moments, as quite a few women, and some of them of the feminist persuasion, are not happy with the change, and want the symbol to remain.

Unfortunately, feminism is no longer the force it once was, and it frequently comes into conflict with the xyzzzzzgbt+ community, usually coming off second best. Feminism is so 1980s, don’t you know. In fact, the only time you will hear from a feminist is if they are BAME, as there are a constant stream of those, especially on Radio 4.

After decades of the male element of many things being removed to make them more inclusive, it is now the turn of the fairer sex to experience this nonsense. And, it only takes a couple of drag queens, and one or two schizophrenic women who think they are men to make changes, not years of campaigning. Life isn’t fair, is it ladies?

Nominated by Gutstick Japseye

Time was when the world was the baldy man’s oyster – when he was an ultra Blairite issuing his blood-curdling announcements, and he minced on the world stage like a colossus. Since then, the hob-nobbing round the Blair’s back passage has come to an end, and poor Liam is so poor he can no longer afford razor blades, but a Blairite is nothing if not adaptable, and tired of poverty Liam now sees himself as the Mayor for the Midlands, and he is pulling out all the stops. Sadly since the power years the fuckwit seems to have gone blind as he wants to make the Midlands a sanctuary for asylum seeking “refugees”. What a cunt!:

https://labourlist.org/2019/10/lets-make-the-west-midlands-a-region-of-sanctuary-for-refugees/

Every cloud has a silver lining – perhaps Hammy Lammy will end up there with the arse hanging out of his trousers.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs