Rebecca Wrong-Daily
‘Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee, speaking to you from outside the Labour Party headquarters in London. After suffering its worst electoral setback since 1935, the race to elect a new party leader could be said *snarf* to be gathering Momentum *snarf*. I’m joined today by Miz Rebecca Long-Bailey, widely seen by many as the front-runner in the leadership race’.

‘Aye oop, lad. Call meh Rebeccah’.
‘So Rebecca, is it time for Labour to elect its first woman leader?’.
‘Well, Rob. Ah feel that uz just need ah change uv uz image for this day an’ age, sumbody wi’ ah bit uv female get up an’ gaw yer knaw like. As th’ blesséd Meryl of Streep put it,”if yew want summat said, get a blawk; if yew want summat done, get a lass”. Or summat. Like’.

‘I see. Then you’d welcome a challenge from, say, Emily Thornberry or Diane Abbott, as well?’
‘Ha ha ha *whinny* well *ahem* yer knaw, Emily, ah mean, ah luv ‘er an’ that, but honest, she’s SUCH a snob like. Diane? Well, ah luv ‘er ta bits, but t’ dozy twat can’t put two an’ two together, an’ she’s got t’ fashion sense uv ah moose. Ah mean, that HAIR, and them shoes on pollin’ day. Ah mean, them’s borth Dear Comrades an’ Sisters, but ah wuddn’t trust either lard ass to run me bath’.

‘Right. Let’s talk a bit about policies. Labour took a kicking in the recent election, with its core vote widely rejecting its far, some would say loony, left programme. Would your leadership herald a change of direction to try and win back their trust?’.
‘Absoluteleh not Rod. Let me mek this absoluteleh clear. Ah’m t’ continuiteh candidateh. Mah people ‘ave come up wi’ this slawgun; “Corbyn in ah skirt”. Catcheh in’t it?’.
‘So you’ll be Corbyn Mk 2? Have you learned nothing from the election?’
‘Well, it tin’t uz wot needs ta learn from t’ voters Reg. It’s t’ voters wot need ta learn from uz. Dern’t quote me on this, but *whisper* they’re as thick as pigshit. Didn’t knaw wot wuz good fer ’em. But they’ve woken themselves up quick an’ all since t’ election, ah’ll tell ya. They now see Johnson for t’ racist, xenophobic, misogynistic pig that ‘e is, ‘im an’ ‘is capitalist running dog lackeys an’ all’.

‘Put some meat on the policy bone for us then, Rebecca’.
‘Well Ray, let me mek this absoluteleh clear. As ah long time supporter an’ close ally of Jeremeh, it’ll be mah job ta enshrine ‘is legaseh, an’ ta ensure continuiteh uv ‘is vision fut’ future. As Jeremeh said, we wun t’ policy argument, but t’ people didn’t get uz message. But ah’ll stand, an’ let me mek this absoluteleh clear, for nuthin’ less than full blooded sawshellism, red int’ tooth ant’ claw. Uz’ll overthraw t’capitalists in tawtal. Uz’ll re-nationalise everythin’ that moves, an’ make sure nuthin’ ever moves again. We’ll overthraw t’ system; shut down t’ Commons an’ Lawds, and elect ah Politburo. All ministries will be absorbed inta ah single Superministry of Truth, Enlightenment an’ Progress. Uz’ll spend trillions on bribes ta immigrants, ethnics, layabouts, spongers and t’ LGBT communiteh ta keep ’em on board, all ta be paired fer by eye-watering tax rises ont’ top 100% of tax payers int’ countreh’.

‘Oh come on! This is ludicrous pie in the sky. The voters will never stand for such nonsense!’.
‘Come t’ revolution, t’ voters’ll do as they’re bloody well tawld. T’ people’s flag is deepest red…’.

‘Yes thank you. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC,returning you to the studio’.

Nominated by Ron Knee

A maiden cunting for this limp-dicked BBC prodigy.

I had the misfortune of catching this “comedian” on the R2 drivetime slot tonight. Honestly, what a poovey great cunt. A voice that makes Alan Carr sound like Lee Marvin.

This quite obvious poo-chute reamer was all too keen to hint to his listeners of his gay credentials. For example, he played the song “If I can’t have you”, to which he imaginarily responded to the female singer “you can’t have me because your not my type”.

Not your type unless it has a gut stick and a pouting, rusty sheriff’s badge, of course.

Still, this cretin ticks all the BBC boxes as a comedian, but ironically he is as funny as a fire in a puppy farm.

Piss off.

Nominated by Paul Maskinback

Mr and Mrs Hewitt…

A less than regal cunting for the gruesome twosome, who have decided to step back from being – get this – SENIOR members of the Royal Family:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-51040751

Get over yourself Harry. You haven’t got the taste of the orb yet, and as for your miserable little wife, she has never been a senior anything. You are both useless wastes of space.

They intend to divide their time between the UK and the US…as far as I am concerned, America can have them full-time.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Bumped as item of interest (Well the radio wont fucking shut up about it, and I was looking forward to a good war)

The There’s an old saying which goes ‘never speak ill of the dead’. Normally I’d abide by this, but there’s an exception to every rule. In my case, that exception is restaurant critic Michael ‘Winner’s Dinners’ Winner, an overbearing prick into whose soup I’m sure many a chef will have wanked. Winner epitomises that breed apart which I characterise as ‘the insufferably smug’.

Before getting down to a few cases, let me define what I mean by this phrase. Well as a characteristic, smugness displays a high degree of self-satisfaction and a sense of superiority over others, At its worst, it carries with it the certainty in the correctness of one’s own views, and a condescending attitude to those who disagree. It manifests itself in that Will Self style complacent body language and self-congratulatory inflection in the voice, and that little George Clooney insincere smirk. The insufferably smug can most readily be found in that self-regarding Metrobubble world of politics, meeja and celebrity, where they’re thicker than fleas on a dog.

So here are a few examples of smug cuntitude to illustrate my point, and for you to get your teeth into. Take champagne socialist Islington millionairess Emily ‘Peppa Pig’ Thornberry, living the high life while pontificating about her ‘working class roots’, then posting a disparaging photo of white van man’s house bedecked in the disgusting flag of St. George. Good idea Peppa; hold your smug nose in the air and sneer at the very people you purport to represent. Funny how it came back to bite your fat arse in 2019. Ten out of ten on the smugometer.

Then there’s the contemptuous attitude of luvvies such as Slaphead Stewart and Steve Coucunt, informing Brexit voters that they ‘didn’t know what they voted for’, or that they’re ‘ignorant and ill informed’. Good job for us then that we have these two world renowned experts on international affairs to demonstrate the error of our ways. Or take everybody’s favourite SJW Owen Jones. Yes, somebody PLEASE take Owen Jones. Little Owen is a past master in the art of ‘doing’ smug. It oozes out of him as he disses anyone who has the temerity to disagree with him as ‘fascist, racist, xenophobic’. I’d go so far as to say that in his case, smugness is terminal.

Have a little think about that aristocrat of smugness, that pompous fart Meryl Streep. Remember her at the Golden Globes, disrespecting ordinary folk because they preferred to watch football and martial arts rather than improving themselves by spending their money on the ‘worthy’, virtue signalling product of Hollywoke? That’s right; another cunt who thinks that her celebrity entitles her to pontificate to the rest of us, and whose vanity leads her to think that we actually give a flying fuck.

Let’s face it, this pernicious trait of insufferable smugness has grown like a cancer on the faces of those who make up what has come to be termed ‘the cultural elite’. It’s anchored in the belief that the hoi polloi in Britain and elsewhere just don’t know what’s good for them. Farage? He’s a demagogue. Trump supporters? Idiots, ‘a basket of deplorables’.

I’d love to set up a stall where we could line every one of these cunts up; Jon Snow-Flake, Bercow, Linekunt, Clinton, Izzard, Dame Elton, the Grants (Hugh and Russell), Chakrabarti, Thompson, Hislop et al, so that we can hurl coconuts at them while they regard us with that air of intellectual superiority. Actually no; make that pigshit. Let’s return the crap they spout at us in kind. The insufferably smug cunts.

PS; Happy New Year to Alex Salmond. Oh, what a wonderful deflation of smugness!

Nominated by Ron Knee

During the run up to Christmas I ordered quite a few items online, mostly from Amazon. And even though all the goods arrived on time and intact, I was amazed to find the amount of packing used even for the most durable of items! I mean who the fuck sends a mobile phone case wrapped in 3 layers of bubble wrap, which in itself is wrapped with brown packing paper, which is packed in those irritating polystyrene chips that filled a packing carton the size of a large breakfast cereal box!

A jiffy bag would have probably done the job in this instance, and I know some suppliers want to make sure the items arrive undamaged. But there is a point where excessive packaging becomes a pain in the arse to dispose of!

Similarly, when buying shoes or slippers – the amount of packing in and round these items is excessive.

Shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts – have additional packaging around the collars and sleeves along with about 4 or 5 tags hanging all over the place.

Another irritation with packaging are those items that are hermetically sealed in plastic clam-shell casings. And the plastic is so tough you have to use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut the fucker open!

I am all for doing my bit for the environment (even though the real reason this world is so fucked up is over-population!), but the amount of paper, cardboard, plastic, polystyrene etc whether its recycled or not, is incredibly excessive and a cunt to get rid of.

Nominated by Technocunt