The Banks

As we all know most, if not all of the banks that operate in the UK, are greedy, merciless two-faced backstabbing cunts!

We also know that because of their greed and financial incompetence back in 2007 the world went into a massive fiscal meltdown, bringing with it the economies of many western nations.

Typically they went cap-in-hand to their respective governments, gave the usual sob-story and managed to suck untold billions out of the various Treasuries around the world with little or no interest to pay, and very tenuous rules on how those loans should be allocated and paid back.

Needless to say as the economies struggled to recover the banks were soon back on track doing what they do best – creaming the plebs with loan/mortgage restrictions, financial penalties, high interest rates and fuck knows what else, while not concerning itself too much with paying back their generous loans to their respective governments.

Fast forward 12 years, and the banks are at it again, although this time the catastrophe is far worse because its affecting ordinary people, ordinary businesses and the need for governments to find billions of pounds it doesn’t have.

The Bank of England cut interest rates to historic lows a few days ago, but what was the fucking point when most High Street banks barely budged lowering their own interest rates.

And despite the government acting as guarantor for SMB business loans during this crisis some of the banks are inferring that they will come after a person’s personal assets if they fall into debt with such a high-interest, personal guarantee loan!

Moreover, it would have been nice had the banks reduced interest rates on credit cards & overdrafts during this pandemic. But no. That would go against everything banks stand for. They want it both ways: “Bail us out when we fuck up big time.” and “We want our money come what may; and fuck you, your business, your cash-flow problems and your virus!”

Remember that when all this shit is over with, and you see TV ads from the usual suspects saying how much “we care!”

Nominated by Technocunt

In the midst of the world wide pandemic, the Governor of California has locked the state down. That’s 40 million people being asked to limit excursions from home to the minimum.

California has two concerns: brain dead students insisting they will party like it’s 1999 for spring break. Yes, the same cunts that condemn my generation as selfish for everything, don’t apply the same standards to themselves because they think Corona won’t impact them and California also has an estimated 2.5m “undocumented immigrants” or illegal immigrants to you and me.

‘Undocumented’ suggests that these people are residents someone forgot to count, so not their fault. These are illegal immigrants; these people are now a huge risk in spreading the virus and as they often live in high density slums. They are likely to swamp the state’s health care system when Corona rips through their neighbourhoods.

In the midst of a crisis unprecedented in the lifetime of most Californians, the government is concerned about the poor, undocumented immigrants.

Wokeness is not just stupid; for many it will be costly, or even deadly.

Nominated by Sixdog Vomit

Online Dance Party is a cunt!

Does our collapsing society know no bounds when it comes to cuntitude?

No sooner has BoJo closed the pubs and clubs (including ‘Spoons), that the stupid masses take to CuntBook and GoogleCunt Hangouts to gurn like idiots, and prance about like Wayne Sleep with itching powder in his codpiece – along with other like-minded imbeciles – in online group chats cos…ME! ME! ME! IT’S ALL ABOUT ME! LOOK AT ME!!!

Prosecco skanks, soy simps (hoping a skank will notice), Fosters fuckwits, and various alphabet people acting out tropes of themselves, with Wham! blaring away in the background, all because they can’t go out with their friends (and then completely ignore them as they remain zombie transfixed with whatever smart device is glued to their hands).

“Yaaayyy! We’re all going to die! Yaaayyy!”

The COVID-19 virus is not selective but watching those morons makes me wish it had facial recognition and raise the country’s IQ points by culling these “hard of understanding” fuckwits!

Cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

Charles, Prince of Wails…

Hold the front page! Prince Charles has tested positive for Coronavirus, Clarence House has announced. This was confirmed after Ol’ Jug Ears was tested by NHS Grampian on 23rd March. Oh woe, and thrice woe!

Unsurprisingly, in the current climate, questions Are Being Asked. Nicola “Wee Jimmy Krankie” Sturgeon has stated that people should act responsibly, and that “the Highlands should not be used as a place to ‘outrun’ the virus”. Former MP George Kernevan was blunter, tweeting, “this billionaire landowner disobeyed guidance to stay home, went to his second home in Scotland, is infected and has infected others”.

Others are asking the obvious question; how did Bonnie Prince Charlie (and his horse-faced other half) manage to get a test for the virus? His symptoms are described as mild, and he is apparently “working” from his desk. MSP Joan McAlpine understandably pondered, “like many, I wonder how he was tested, when many NHS and social care workers cannot get tested”. Scotland’s Chief Medical Officer responded that there were “very good reasons for that person and his wife to be tested”, but that nothing else could be disclosed “on the grounds of patient confidentiality”. Naturally. Now the Gruesome Twosome are “self-isolating”, except that is, for a platoon of lackeys to cook, clean, run the royal bath, squeeze the royal toothpaste, feed the horses and what have you. Charlie boy probably even has a peasant to take his medicine for him.

Meanwhile, Junior Health Minister Edward Argar says that “The Prince of Wales did not jump the queue” for testing. Well we all know that he didn’t, for the very simple reason that in his case, there’s no queue to jump. He and his ilk have never had to queue for anything in their lives, and never will. He was tested because he’s very rich, very well connected and extremely privileged, and I’d contend that anyone who thinks otherwise is naive in the extreme. It’s a cunt, but like it or lump it, it’s the way the world works.

At times like these, we’re always spun the line that “we’re all in this together”. Believe that, and you’ll believe anything.

Nominated by Ron Knee

THE LIB-DEMS:

A Busy-doing-nothing, deeply sincere and inclusive cunting please for the political party who is to the smack of firm government what Alan Carr is to heavyweight boxing – yes it’s the Lib-Dems, who, in an effort to prove how fucking pointless they are, has decided to put off their “leadership” election for a year (due to Coronavirus, they say, more likely there isn’t anybody good enough to take it up):

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/lib-dem-leadership-contest-postponed-coronavirus-a4399171.html

The current incumbent, as “acting” leader (though not acting very well) Ed Whatshisname, is up against dimwitted four eyed, EU worshipping fuckwit
Layla Moran (who yesterday whined that the government put “Brexit before breathing” as we wouldn’t subscribe to the EUs ventilator scam). The daft cow couldn’t lead the Monster Raving Looney Party as she is gravitas-free.

When will the sandal wearing, Archers worshipping, knit your own lentils supporters of this pointless party realise just how useless they are?

Nominated by W. C. Boggs