Can I request a colossal waste-of-bandwidth cunting for PIDCAST?

Yes cunters, fresh from having managed to fuck up a parliamentary majority of 9000 in North West Durham, a Labour seat since Pontius was in flying school, instead of getting a proper job Piddlecock has resurfaced as the National Secretary of The Peoples Assembly – ‘who they’ you ask? Well, I’ll tell you: a collection of cunts who think that fucking austerity off and pissing money away on the indolent scrotes who won’t graft but do want beer and money is a good idea. As I say, cunts.

Anyway on with the cunting. The lovely horse-faced Laura has weaseled her way in to a tidy little number and her first effort is to start up ‘Pidcast’ and interview our old favourite: Magic Grandpa! Ta da!
It fucking astounds me how these cunts just cannot get the message – still giving the scruffy old cunt a voice instead of leaving him in the toilet of failure that he so expertly flushed himself down. Obviously her gusset will be damp from the excitement of whispering her fawning slaver to her messiah & no doubt she’ll be thinking how good his wrinkled old cock would have felt up her gary glitter had the Red Flag flown over No10, but for the rest of us it’s a fucking drain on the dwindling bandwidth available, now that all the 5G masts are burnt down.

La Piddlecock is, amd always will be a cunt …and so is her Pidcast.

Nominated by The Stained Gusset

MOVIES

No they are fucking “films”. Now if you are a Yank, even living in this country I get it. It’s your culture and your dialect, none of my fucking business. What pisses me off is British people coming out with this fucking shit because they have watched untold hours of American fucking culture on the telly. This is why we have all this “school prom” bollocks these days.
Which , of course, enables a load of cunts to make a load of dosh out of dumb parents who just can’t say no to their brainwashed offspring. Fuck “movies”. Any cunt who says “movies” to me can fuck off out of my face. I just wonder how long it is before we start talking about “movie theatres” in this country. Just fuck off cunts.

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

“Spoilsports”

How about the people that spoil everything for the rest of us.

This has been a recurring theme that I have observed throughout my life.

For instance, that cunt in class at school who was a little psycho and didn’t give a fuck about anything, who misbehaved and then we all had to stay behind.
He probably had “ishoos” which of course makes it alright for him to disrupt everyone else and their chance to learn.

In recent times, the cunts that stockpiled and continue to stockpile food which now means that I have to queue for an hour just to buy a loaf of bread and 4 pints of milk.

Or the selfish, me me me and fuck everyone else, self-entitled bastards that congregated in groups in parks and ignored the advice to stay at home, who are the reason that I now haven’t seen my friends and family in almost a month.

Or the people that clap for the NHS, but are probably the same cunts that end up in A&E every weekend because they drank too much and need to have their stomachs pumped because they don’t know their limits and abused ambulance workers who were trying to help them.

Absolute bastards.

Nominated by Harold Steptoe

A colossal, and long overdue, cunting for… The Eurovision Song Contest. Every time this drivel is on I refuse to watch it. Hardly anyone votes properly anymore, its been tactical political voting for over a decade. On top of this its meant to be a SINGING competition, which one year was won by a few people baking, yes BAKING, while music was playing. Either fix this shite so that everyone SINGS, and nobody does political voting, or scrap this useless pile of shit altogether. In fact, fuck it, just cancel the thing…along with Britain’s (with foreign people) Got Talent, The Voice and any other similar shitty ‘competitions’. Someone I know, with a great voice, was rejected by BGT because he was ‘too old’…BGT being how we got Susan Boyle and that stupid dog act! Scrap all this shite, and take crap like TOWIE with it!

Nominated by DiabloLordOfTerror

Burglars are cunts. About 8:30 am today (Saturday 11th April) I received a call from a person who lives near the archery club that I’m a member of to say that he’d found a couple of bows, a number of cases, some arrows and some quivers in the stream behind the club while on his morning walk through the park that the club sits on the edge of. So I called another committee member and we met at the club, where we found damage to the exterior of the clubhouse, presumably caused by the first attempt the little fuckers made to get in before kicking in the door.

Inside, they’d been through all the drawers and cupboards before breaking the lock on one of the equipment stores and taking a number of the cases and bows and arrows that we use for beginners courses and have a go days. It’s not particularly expensive equipment, but that’s not the point. Fortunately, they failed to get into the equipment store that contains the more expensive bows, arrows and equipment that we rent to new members while they’re getting together enough money to buy their own gear (archery can be quite expensive).

Five-0 were fucking useless. Couldn’t get through on the non-emergency number and the plod I spoke to at the local station could not have given less of a fuck. Probably would have sent armed response if I’d been reporting someone for buying a packet of hob nobs, but this was an actual crime so we were told to fill out an online complaint. My tongue is still sore from having to bite it.

Anyway, burglars, especially the scum who broke into my club, are cunts of galactic proportions.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw