No, me neither, until i had the misfortune to find out what the cunt had done.

Link to the murdering fuck.

“Loka, an Albanian national who had entered the country illegally, claimed he fled after the collision because he had panicked about the consequences for his immigration status.”

Here when he shouldnt be, mowing old folk down and leaving them for dead.

Not to worry though, because Multi-Culturalism enriches us all!

Spear the fucking cunt with a javelin.

Nominated by – GeneralZod

Whoa whoa whoooooa whoooa whoooa. Top lyrics.

The Great Gig In The Sky is a load of cunt.

No, I am not referring to any sort of reference to a possible afterlife (yeah right).
I am, of course, writing about the Pink Floyd ‘tune’ that resides on Side 2 of ‘The Dark Side Of The Moon’.

Now, me and the Mrs like a bit of Pink Floyd. But I personally have never been able to stand this particular so-called ‘masterpiece’. Initially, it’s a nice song. Rick Wright (RIP) plays his piano beautifully and Dave Gilmour swoops in and out with subtle guitar.

Then Nick Mason’s drums kick in and it all turns to shit. Some session singer (Clare Torry, I think) just screams a load of ear splitting lyricless yelling, sounding like someone has put chili sauce, fireworks and itching powder down her knickers.

It really is the most awful noise, and if Yoko Fucking Ono had done it on a Beatles record, it would rightfully be called out for the tuneless racket that it is. But because it’s on ‘Dark Side’ and it’s ‘Ver Floyd’ it rarely gets any criticism. But the truth is it’s fucking awful.

The most laughable bit being Torry later astonishingly got a co-songwriting credit with Wright for the song. A songwriting credit and royalties for a done on the spot fucking flailing noise?!! Music by R. Wright and incoherent screeching by Torry? Fucking priceless. I bet Roger Waters was happy about that one, eh?

It is an awful record, but the lesson being? Women and top rock bands should not be mixed, simple as that. Zep and The Who never did it, so there is no Plastic Ono Band or Great Gig In The Sky to taint their legacies and no Clare Torry or Yoko to bite them on the arse and interfere later down the line.

The original version of Great Gig is far superior. With Wright’s music being allowed to breathe as the (then current) coverage of Apollo XVII replaces Torry’s squawking.

The song

Nominated by – Norman

Speaking of daily annoyances…

Just over a year ago I put a nomination forward regarding those little daily irritations in life that really get on your tits! (see link below)

Part One

A year on, a year wiser, and a year even more pissed off and annoyed than ever before. So with the admins permission I’d like to do a “Part 2” (I’ll allow it – DA)

• Amazon rechargeable batteries (AA and AAA), that only take 2 or 3 charges before dying.
• Battery operated desk clocks that when you want to swap out the battery you have to find the world’s smallest screwdriver to remove the screw that is securing the battery lid at the back of the clock.
• Buying a mixture of different sized USB data sticks but none of them are labelled with their particular capacity (4Gb, 16Gb, 64Gb etc.)
• Putting the clocks back/forward in March/October. There’s always one you forget!
• Terrestrial TV, Satellite TV, Cable TV, Streaming TV
• Noisy cunts in libraries
• Cunts who poke, prod and sniff bread, fruit and veg in shops, and then put it back on the shelf.
• Cunts who take an After Eight mint out of the box but leave the wrapper inside.
• Buying second hand reference books only to find certain pages ripped out (usually the ones you want to know about)
• YouTube and their frigging ad-breaks every 2 minutes into a video
• Cunts wanting everything for free (especially phone and PC apps, and then complain about all the ads and push notifications to buy the product)
• Free-To-Play computer games that are free to start with but are then nagged with micropayments in order to unlock further access into a game or to buy better weapons etc. (This happens even with games you’ve already paid for upfront).
• Constant updates of T&Cs from banks, ISPs, phone apps … all written in long-winded bollocks no one every bothers to read let alone understand.
• Trying to show courtesy to wimminz, only to get a glare or a “I can manage, thanks!”
• Cunts who still haven’t removed their tax discs from car windscreens despite them being abolished back in 2014
• Cunts who sneeze into their cupped hands and then wipe the contents on their trousers or anything close to hand.
• Cunts who sneeze without covering their mouth/nose
• Women who have absolutely no concept of time and punctuality. We might have a dinner engagement at 7:30 10 miles away, but the missus is still faffing about with her hair/make-up at 7:15!
• Unexpected sex scenes (lezza scenes best of all) in TV dramas/films, which might have been quite titillating watching alone, but not with the missus.
• Weather forecasters getting paid for predictions
• Kids in pubs
• Cunts who come up to my desk and say “I know you’re very busy, but could you spare 5 minutes?”
• Trying to find the end of sellotape, packing tape etc.
• People who say “Can I get!”
• Packets of biscuits that don’t have a pull-tab to open.
• Cunts who park their cars outside of shop but not up against the curb. Instead they park in the middle of the fucking lane, blocking everyone behind.
• Not being able to have a quiet wank without the missus barging in
• People who open a conversation with remarks about the weather. Doesn’t matter about anything else (lockdowns, terrorist attacks, food shortages, tsunamis, imminent nuclear war, Diane Abbott appearing topless in The Sun).. No, none of that, let’s just talk about the bleedin’ weather and how hot/cold/dry/wet it is.
• Installing software without going into the Custom Setup first, from which point you notice the crafty developers have bundled some other bloatware that if you don’t tick/untick a box will be installed on your machine. But will be installed anyway if you didn’t go into Custom Setup first.
• That moment when you think of something really profound/important, and then a second later its gone, never to return.
• Embarrassing silences at dinner parties when you’re struggling to think of something to say to your guests (and no, not the bleedin’ weather!)
• The assumption that every man and his dog has got a smartphone in order to download apps in order to register for something you can’t have by any other means.
• Unexpected American Date formats (05/06/21) is that May or June if you’re not sure?
• Council planners who approve fast-food joints on the corners of busy roads, thus causing queues and tailbacks.
• Safety notices on everything. Pages and pages and pages of safety hints, even for the most mundane of things like a a computer mouse, a desk light or a microwave ready-meal.
• Online news articles (UK websites) to do with finance and how the reporter quotes in dollars first, and then the equivalent in Euros. And then if you’re lucky, Pound Sterling.
• Supermarkets who have no idea of what a substitute means when the item you ordered online is out of stock. For example you wanted some Jacob’s cream-crackers and they send you a packet of tampons (True, thanks Asda!)
• How time flies as you get older.
• Cunts who state the bleedin’ obvious. “We had a bit of snow last night then!” as we stand in 3ft of snow waiting for a friggin’ bus!
• The fuss and aggro young wimminz in skin-tight jeans make when you ask them to sit on your lap for 10 minutes, in order to remove the pretend knot in their hair!
• Gary Lineker

That’ll do for now

Nominated by – Technocunt

He’s cumming for you.

Muhammed Bilal Khan and the legal system that let him off.

The plague of the Home islands that has infected Shitneystan like bat flu is now besieging Melbourne. 40 year old Mu has been found guilty of wanking onto 3 women and groping a 4th, he received a sentence of community service and counselling, fuck a duck what a shower.

He was arrested for the groping and linked to the wanking through DNA evidence. How many other ladies never noticed or didn’t wish to go through the rigmarole of an investigation and trail. This cunt needs the hotbox with horny rats before throwing to the crocs.

Hello ladies

Nominated by – Shackledragger cunt

‘SumUp’ deserve a monumental cunting, if you please.

This fucking advert about a Card reader machine sends my blood pressure to dangerously high levels. The one where the cast of the United Nations go “Oooohhhh” when they see the card machine. I have provided a link for one of them, as per rules, but, watching it will increase your blood pressure to stroke-inducing levels.

A cunting fucking advert of biblical proportions. Now, where did I put those Bisoprolol.

https://youtu.be/MpGiNsDTghc

https://sumup.co.uk/

Nominated by – DCI Gene Cunt