A short and seasonal cunting for corporate emails wishing you a merry Christmas.
I’ve had a surfeit of these recently from various sources, the bank, places I buy brewing stuff from and other places I’ve bought stuff from. It’s all disingenuous bollocks. Some little wanker in their IT department cobbling together a meaningless Christmas message meant to make you feel good. It just get right on my tits. Bah humbug, fuck off.
Nominated by: Bertram Cuntatious DCO
(All we want now is that kid from the film “Deliverance” and a couple of banjos and we’re set! – Day Admin)
Is there anything more cheery to see on a dark winter night than a Christmas tree in a living room.
I do have a little peek into the neighbours as I walk down the street to see what theirs are like.
Makes me feel happy to see them. It lifts my spirits.
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We’ve got an artificial one this year. We’re in the process of decorating it; putting the finishing touches…
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From the link–
‘The town of Dedham, Massachusetts, about 30 miles southwest of Boston, drew national attention after Lisa Desmond, manager of the local Endicott Branch Library, wrote on Facebook earlier this month that its annual Christmas tree display had apparently been canceled to prevent offending people.’
“I have never posted a negative post on Facebook,” Desmond wrote on Dec. 2. “That is, until now. I found out today that my beautiful library will not have [its] Christmas tree this year.”
“When I asked, I was told ‘people’ were made uncomfortable last year looking at it. I’m sorry WHAT? In my 28 years at the Dedham Public Library, I have never heard a negative comment,” Desmond continued.
‘Diane Loud, who was appointed to the Human Rights Commission in Dedham, Massachusetts, by the town’s Commission on Disability, reportedly called Desmond “a selfish f—ing b—-” in a subsequent Facebook post that accused her of endangering lives by raising the issue.’
“For a tree? For a motherf—ing tree? You have put people’s lives in a lot of danger. A LOT of danger,” Loud wrote to Desmond.
‘Addressing others she speculated might also have been responsible for bringing the controversy to wider attention, Loud continued in part: “I hope the fact that you – who claim to believe in Christ and Christmas or whatever happy horses— you’re trying to hide behind – are the least gracious, most hateful, most disgusting trash in the world.”
“In closing, I would like to add a F— YOU, YOU PIECES OF TRASH. I hate each and every one of you and I do wish great suffering on you. You are terrible, terrible people. And you did it all because you didn’t get your way. You are despicable,” Loud concluded.
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A bit more tinsel and just one more bauble to go with the shiny blue ones…there it is finished.
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Nominated by: Miles Plastic
After much deliberation, alcohol consumption and ultimately an arm wrestling competition, the Admin Team decided upon this year’s Cunter of the Year:
Congratulations Miserable northern cunt.
It might be grim ‘oop North’, but we’re sure this award will bring you fame, fortune, good health, longevity and a brand new artisan country cream gate, signed by Banksy.
Or it may not. We’ll see.
THANK YOU to all the cunters who have contributed to the site this year. We hope you’ve enjoyed the laughs and the angst at the number of absolute cunts out there. Keep nominating. Keep smiling. And remember, we’re all in this together.
Merry Christmas.
– The Admin Team.
Christmas gift-hunting is a cunt, isn’t it.
Fear not compatriots, here is a splendid idea for the person who has everything: a timepiece containing magic spells. Ladies and Gentlecunts of IAC, I give you…The Prayer Clock.
https://www.theprayerclock.com/
It gives its incantations and superstitious warnings on the hour, every hour. Furthermore, it’s voiced by James Earl Jones. That’s right, the Sith himself. It’s the Gospel according to Darth Vader.
Not interested? Your lack of faith is disturbing. Alternatively you could purchase the audiobook of the Buy-Bull read by Jones himself. I wonder whether Grand Moff Tarquin makes an appearance.
Jesus, would you look at the time!
He was Lord and wanted his son to join him on the Dark Side to conquer the universe. Call forth the Mos Eisley disciples – Greedo, Walrus Man, Hammerhead, and Snaggletooth. No, these aren’t the Apostles you’re looking for. The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.
Nominated by : Captain Magnanimous
Happy Christmas, Cunters! – The Admin Team
We wish all the cunters a very merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year.
– The Admin Team.