Andrew Lloyd Webber [2]

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Just for a moment, let’s spoil ourselves by celebrating the misfortunes of the pug faced little cunt who sat on his golden throne while he subjected us to his excruciatingly embarrassing search for not just one new unknown musical star, but two! A Joseph and a Dorothy. Not that we gave a flying fuck about either.

It seems his latest offering – a musical based on Stephen Ward who committed suicide in the wake of the Profumo affair – is to close after just 4 months. The omens were never good, of course. It opened the same night the roof fell in on the audience in a West End theatre he owns. Actually, I think he owns most of them, doesn’t he?

It seems the theatre was never more than half full. Of course Webby is unrepentant. He commented “if you choose a subject purely because it is commercial, catastrophe looms”. Well, no Andrew. Catastrophe looms when you write some so shitty and uncommercial that nobody comes to see it, you daft cunt.

Anybody who paid good money to sit through his excruciating sequel to ‘Phantom’ must be rubbing their hands together in glee…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Music critics

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Don’t get me wrong – I actually like the Arctic Monkeys – but what the fuck is the matter with all these music critic cunts? Especially the wankers at the Brit Awards?

Apparently the Monkeys are not only the ‘best British band’, but their latest album ‘AM’ is being fawned over by the aforementioned cunts as ‘Mastercard Best Album of the Year’ FFS! I have all their albums. This latest one is bland, boring, tuneless, hugely disappointing, pretentious shit completely lacking in any semblance of originality.

Thank God these cunts would rate my stuff as crap. That’s got to mean I’m onto something!

Nominated by: ChasCMusic

Susanna Reid

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One less cunt on the BBC sofa? Possibly – with the departure of Susanna Reid to ITV daytime telly. Poor old Bill’s going to have to make do with that old slapper Minchin instead. Poor sod.

Having fallen on her arse – and a very nice arse it is – on that highlight of highbrow telly Strictly Cum Dancing, she’s dumped her ‘hubby’ and her 250 mile commute to Salford to fuck around with Ben Shepherd on another sofa instead. Sofa so good but Good Morning Britain – the graveyard of presenters? Must be a cunt.

Nominated by: Couchpotato

Valerie Solanos

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Fillies need to live a little. However the whole wimmins rights thingy is such a bore these days. Back in the 60′s and ugly slapper name of Valerie Solanos started S.C.U.M – the Society for Cutting Up Men. Amazed to find out it it still around in various forms.

Ms Solanos main claim to fame is an attempt to kill Andy Warhol in 1968 so the filly aint all bad. Unfortunately being typically female she muffed it.

To see some Swedish slappers having a little girly fun, click here. Total cunts!

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

( Thankfully, the bitch is a dead cunt. Ed. )

Pets at Home

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Pets at Home is a huge nationwide pet supermarket run by a bunch of cunts.

These cunts are selling off rescue cats and dogs that they got from the RSPCA and the Battersea Dogs Home and trousering the dosh. What a bunch of cunts.

But not as big a bunch of cunts as the charities that supply to them to flog on. Animal welfare organisations have fought for years to keep dogs and cats out of pet shops and you no longer see puppies and kittens in shop windows. So what’s changed?

Bloody hypocrites!

Nominated by: Catwoman