In the interests of balance, I’d like to cunt moronic thick-as-shit Tory supporters who fell for the barefaced lies and baseless scaremongering of an overpaid Aussie election strategist instead of looking at the evidence.

The Tory spending plans had been dismissed by the Institute for Fiscal Studies as the most innumerate and un-costed of all the major parties. Gideot The Towel Folder failed to give an answer to how his NHS commitments would be funded despite being asked almost twenty times. IDS didn’t consider it “relevant” or “appropriate” to explain to the electorate what they would be voting for. When asked by Paxman, Chicken Dave hadn’t a clue about the level of UK borrowing – sheer arrogant incompetence from the party allegedly presenting itself as the party of fiscal responsibility.

“We delivered all our 2010 commitments and I’m proud of that” lied Cameron when everyone should have remembered the VAT rises and cuts to EMA and Child Support he implemented after categorically denying that he would do so during the 2010 campaign. “The NHS is safe with us,” lied Cameron, when even former Tory Cabinet Ministers admit that the Conservatives have to deceive the electorate over their plans to dismantle and privatise the NHS or they’d never get elected.

The Tory narrative of “Labour’s recession” was another barefaced lie (Labour did not cause the global financial crash that has affected so many other countries even more deeply than the UK), as is the ridiculous idea that the UK was “going the way of Greece”. Chicken Dave’s rather pathetic waving around of the Liam Byrne “No money left” note should have been easily dismissed as a fifty year old in-joke at the Treasury (as Chicken Dave and Gideot surely knew it to be) which had actually originated with a TORY Chancellor in 1964. The “backstabbing” story was yet another lie – if you and your sibling go for the same job, why should there be an assumption that one is automatically more entitled than the other?

Now we all know the SNP are irredeemable cunts, but Chicken Dave spent the entire indyref begging the UK to stick together, bleating about the union he loves, then having got the result he wanted, proceeded to shaft the Scots and spent the entire election campaign demonising them to such an extent that independence is now just a matter of time. Given that the Tory campaign centred around scaremongering about the break up of the union, it’s slightly fucking ironic that Chicken Dave will go down in history as the PM who put the nail in the coffin of the union by prioritising Tory lust for power ahead of everything else. Not quite the legacy he was hoping for, I’d bet. I wonder if the Queen is “purring” now?

Of course, the Labour campaign team are massive cunts too for failing to effectively rebut the kind of crass lies that even a child could recognise, but the Tory cunts who fell for that crap need their fucking heads examined. But then these are the sort of cunts who trust the Daily Mail to provide an objective assessment of the facts, so I guess they get what they fucking deserve.

Nominated by: Fred West