Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

The office Christmas party

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I would like to give the good old Office Christmas Party a sound cunting.

My work had it’s outing last Friday – I didn’t go. Today I have had to hear all about it. The usual weirdo cunt taking hundreds of photos uncomfortably close-up so he can post them on Facebook later. The usual grudge that has been brewing all year resulting in the cunts having a brawl when they’ve had sufficient booze. Manager cunts spying on everyone from the corner. The office slappers dangling their tits in front of any new male employee. Piss poor buffet food being picked up and put down at least four times before it gets eaten.

Today I learned also which cunt is now not speaking to that other cunt because of something they said or did on Friday night..what a monumental sack of boring festering old cunt!

Nominated by: Mary Hinge

Louise Haigh, MP

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I see another cuntress has just opened their ugly gob. Step forward Louise Haigh, MP for Sheffield. Cunty bitchpants wants Britain First classed as a terror organisation and banned from any democratic elections.

Where the fuck do these cunts keep coming from?

Nominated by: Gingers Ballsac

Lanyards

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Can I cunt lanyards? Especially people who go shopping with there lanyards flapping around there necks thinking it makes them look important while reaching for shit role off a shelf in Asda.

I have the misfortune of wearing a lanyard for my job and it makes me feel like a fucking branded animal, I try and stuff it in my pocket but get told to wear it by my arsehole shite business manager (whatever the fuck that means) he’s useless cunt. I never where my lanyard outside work cos why the fuck would I be wanting to be reminded about the shit hole that I work at in my own time, so I HATE LANYARDS

Nominated by: Harry Balls

Joe Corre

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Caught sight of a news report regarding the odious offspring of Malcom McClaren and Vivienne Westwood. Apparently he torched 10 million quids worth of Sex Pistols memorabilia as a public protest against “mainstream” music (fair enough), the “Social Cleansing” of London, evils of capitalism, blah blah blah.

Apart from the fact that nothing to do with the Pistols could ever really be worth 10 big ones, presumably the idea of giving the stuff away to raise cash to help the disadvantaged never occurred to him.

Another uber-rich, pubicity seeking, more-money-than sense, look-at-me stratocunt. And didn’t old Malcom & co even admit that punk was always a marketing exercise anyway?
The only notes that really count are the ones that come in wads.

Mind you, it was on the Mirror website, so could all be bollocks…

Nominated by: Mr Bastard

Emma Watson [2]

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Not only is Emma Watson a so-called ambassador for some fucking charity, the last bastion of ALL shit actors these days but the cunt has been in the news for leaving books on the underground with a hand written note.

Now, in my eyes, that’s fucking littering, so she should get a fucking £80 fine, the fucking bitch.

She is a shit actress anyway whose range is akin to Barry from Eastenders.

Nominated by: Boaby