Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

George Osborne (9)

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I feel sorry for George Osborne. No really I do! It must be terribly hard holding down all those highly paid jobs and finding the time to slag off Theresa May!

Now May might have fucked up big time by screwing up a election she should never have called in the first place, but George seems to have forgotten all about his 7 years as Chancellor. He seems to have forgotten all about Project Fear. He seems to have conveniently forgotten about the post referendum emergency budget he promised us and never carried out.

No, George just wants to behave like a spoilt petulant brat unable to accept that losing his job was pretty much all down to himself fucking up big time and that the austerity everyone voted against was the austerity he introduced as Chancellor.

Easier to turn on the very party you helped to lead and bitch on about the woman who sacked you than to admit that you’re a 100% 24 carat solid gold fuck up, eh George?..

Nominated by Dioclese.

Precocious Brats

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Precocious Brats need a cunting. There is an article on the BBC website recently about an 11 year old girl who complained about the collective punishment of her class for one kids behaviour by describing this as a war crime under the Geneva Convention. Instead of being told to shut up until she has tits, she is now being hailed by some as a great thinker and being promised a years worth of icecream. Jesus wept. You dread to think what this is going to grow into.

Nominated by Mary Hinge.

Lorraine Kelly

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Lorraine Kelly is a cunt.

Can you believe she’s never been cunted?

The cunt is sayin ” let the memory of Jo help us bridge this great divide”
Memory of Jo?

No one knew the cunt until she tried catching bullets.

And the division was their doing not ours.

They are the ones who cannot accept anyone who goes against them or their thoughts.
They were the ones who labelled us all thick racists if we didn’t go along with popstar/actor dictators.

I ain’t the sharpest tool in the picnic basket and I thank all of you for putting up with my nonsense, but nor is Lorraine Kelly, yet she gets paid handsomely for spouting ideas she picks up from other soft soppy cunts.

That non stop gurning smile and squeeling is also the sign of fuckwittery and cuntitude.

I bet she wants every child to ride a unicorn at least once in their lives.

That’s all I’ve got the now, so in the words of many cunters, “someone should cunt Lorraine Kelly”.

Nominated by birdman.  (you have!)

Richard Hammond (2)

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I WOULD LIKE TO NOMINATE the Rodent faced ex Top Gear presenter, Richard Hammond, for a cunting.

After this latest accident it is a foregone conclusion that the man has the driving prowess of Mr Magoo. The news headline – Hammond crashes again. Yeh, and?

Perhaps he should stick to safer TV pursuits, such as guest slots on Loose Women or advertising anti wrinkle cream and tooth whitening procedures for vain, middle aged men.

Nominated by Paul Maskinback.

Sergeant Pepper

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Apparently, Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is the album that “changed music forever”

What a load of pretentious marketing speak drivel! Like fuck it did. The Sex Pistols did more to change the face of music than the Beatles ever did. The Fab Four were a pop band that got lucky because Epstein was a brilliant marketing man.

If you want to hear a half decent Beatles album you won’t find it in Sergeant Pepper. After Revolver it was all downhill as McCuntney & Co climbed further and further up their own backsides.

Want proof it’s all bollocks? Look no further than Amazon who are selling an anniversary copy of the album for £109 with previously unreleased material. Basically five or six preproduction or remixed versions of the same songs. There’s a reason they’ve never been released before. It’s because they weren’t fit for purpose. Beef that up with a book and a couple of DVDs with old documentaries on them. Bingo! Loadsa money…!

No, if you want to hear Beatles music then listen to The Rutles who took their stuff and improved it.

“Changed music forever”? Don’t be a cunt…!

Nominated by Dioclese.