Author Archives: A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Dead Pool [52]

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Congratulations to Fred West (me) who correctly predicted that Elephant Man John Hurt would be next to pack his trunk and say goodbye to the circus. Off he went with a trumpety-trump, trump, trump, trump. So it is time to move onto Dead Pool number 52.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

So nominations are now open on this post only. Good luck.

Fred’s Nominations:
Clive James
Denis Norden
Leslie Phillips
Bruce Forsyth
Brian Cant

 

The US military

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I wouldn’t trust the US military to complete an operation even as simple as sticking a post in a fat bird.

Their special forces don’t look that special to me.
Take that Bin Laden malarkey for starters. They spent years and billions looking for the cunt. Scouring the whole region, mountains, cave systems etc.

And where was the cunt all that time?…….at home.

Nominated by: J R Cuntley

Having dealt with the US military on multiple occasions over the years they leave a lot to be desired. The airforce seem to be reasonably acute, army and navy less so, and the Marines are as dumb as a bunch of blind, deaf, legless chimps. The vast majority of these fuckwhits chew tobacco and gob the slimy shit all over the shop, some even leaving it in cups, the dirty cunts.

I had the misfortune of hosting a group of USMC once and they had a similar amount of computing power as a bag of tangerines. Oxygen thieves to a man.

Nominated by: Thorax Cockslammer

Selfish passengers

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Don’t forget loud cunts on phones on public transport. Why do they think we are interested in their conversations? It’s a private call so keep,it private you utter cunts.

Feet on seats fucking piss me right off as well. Many years ago assisted a fellow traveller in removing a cunt from seats as he had his feet up on a rush hour train with next to no space but of course the cunt was entitled to as much room as he wanted. Tried to argue but he was told in no uncertain terms that if he tried it again he would be squashed.

Nominated by: Johnson

Stone Roses fans

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Stone Roses fans are cunts

I paid 129 dollars to see the band in the Sydney Opera House last night and fuck me I did not hear a fucking thing other than fucking clapping. They clapped at the start of the song, they clapped the whole fucking way through the song, and then they clapped at the end of the song.

Fuck knows why ‘cos you couldn’t hear a fucking thing, fucking wankers! The same thing happened at clubs in the 90’s and I’m sure that started oop North. Here’s an idea, cunts – buy a ticket to a fucking football match,any cunting team will do,and go and clap all fucking day till your hearts content or hopefully fucking stops you cunts

Nominated by: Flexicunt

T&C’s

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Radio Advert terms and conditions is a cunt,

You know what I mean, you’re listening to some shit advert you’re not interested in and when you think it’s over some cunt speaks at a million miles an hour about the terms and cuntditions for 5 minutes. Here are my terms and conditions: FUCK OFF YOU CUNTS.

Nominated by: Black and White Cunt

TV ads where they put the T&Cs on the bottom of the screen, rattle them off and don’t give you enough time to read them. I’ve tried.

What’s the fucking point?

Nominated by: Dioclese