Vodafone [2]

I’d like to nominate that shite shower of a company Vodafone for a thorough cunting! Their incompetent and clueless customer service text and call in centres are staffed by the thickest, most ignorant mongs ever. They are for the most part otherwise unemployable snowflake gobshites with attitude problems.

Call with a problem, get put on hold, listen to some ear cack elevator music for an eternity, only for said retard to blame someone else. “Duh, it’s not our problem it’s (insert implausible excuse)”. Twenty to thirty minutes of your life wasted and all for nothing!

Then they bombard you with customer satisfaction surveys and marketing texts! Oh fucking really?!? How’s about zero satisfaction and a big old 10 out of 10 for being utter cunt lords! Funny how this automated irrelevant marketing bollocks always gets through. Strange how efficiently they grab your hard earned cash to pay their exorbitant, piss taking bills every month. Yet when, as an existing customer under contract, you need something doing on YOUR behalf, it’s ‘fuck right off’.

The ‘technical’ assistance department imbeciles can barely speak a word of English. Fucking Indian call centres! They appear to have no idea what day it is, never mind what it is they are supposed to be doing.

TLDR: Vodafone: Corporate wank stains whoring after new victims and hanging existing customers out to dry. Complete cunty cunts!

Nominated by See You Next Tuesday

Martin Freeman [2]

A nomination of personal annoyance here – British actor Martin Freeman.

Famous for playing Tim in Ricky Gervais’ shit-fest The Office, he also played as Tim in the shit ‘n’ thankfully short-lived The Robinsons, Tim in pubehead Moffat’s Sherlock, Tim in the Hobbit trilogy and is currently appearing as Tim in the excruciatingly annoying Vodafone adverts.

This jug-eared tribute act to Norwich’s finest inbreeding programme has carved out a career from playing the same bemused, stammering, wise-cracking cunt in everything, and I mean everything he’s cast in. He’s simply one of those fuckers with a face so punchable it takes every effort to not deliver an uppercut to the TV screen. I must be missing something because I can’t see any appeal to this fucking buffoon.

He may not be a bad person, so the limited cunting opportunities on him may be as one-dimensional as his acting, but this turd in human form has been simmering my piss since 2002. So for that reason, he is a cunt.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Javid Ahmed

Javid Ahmed is a fucking arsehole who stuck this on Longrider’s blog a couple of days back when he wrote about the vegan who decided that Amazon should stop selling a plastic pig toy.

Dont worry I have contacted mediatemple.net a shutdown of your domain is being arranged as you sitting behind a wall, you have no clue what animals suffer and on here. Your all just a bunch if inbred redneck hillbillies turds. am sure you mums and dads that bastards they are all inbred terrorists also no go fuck yourself you cunt?”

Mediatemple quite rightly told him to fuck off.

To all you self appointed self righteous self indulgent arrogant cunts just like Javid who want to stifle any opinion that contradicts their narrow minded view of the world, I say “Fuck you. You’re all cunts”

Nominated by Dioclese

The Daily Express [2]

The Daily Express are cunts…

I know that papers now resort to barrel scraping tactics in order to get noticed and clickbait… But the Daily Express actually using a ‘Google maps show aliens’ headline (online) is taking the piss…

Featuring ‘pictures’ of an ‘alien’ sunbathing in a deckchair?! I know The Express isn’t great, but since when did it become the Sunday Sport?! Does the cunt who wrote that ‘alien’ bollocks actually get paid for doing it?! Cunts….

Nominated by Norman

Black Friday [2]

I would like to nominate Black Friday sales for a retail cunting.

This used to be one day (a Friday!) when benefit scrounging scumbags would queue up outside Asda at five in the morning to fight over an Alba TV reduced to tuppenny ha’penny because they’re shite. Brilliant footage of people actually punching others to get this bargain tat.

Now, though, all companies have jumped on the Black Friday bandwagon, free delivery, prices not cheaper, get it before Christmas etc, and the sales last at least a week.

So it is no longer a one day Jeremy Kyle audience fest, it’s just another pre-Christmas sale, but with an American title attached.

Amazon, Currys, all the others, you’re cunts, money grabbing no morals cunts, and I hope your cocks drop off, wankers.

Nominated by The Bournemouth Red.

Now any cunter knows Black and White cunt loves a bargain but this Black Friday bollocks is a cunt… Even worse than ‘Cyber Monday’.

What kind of cunt queue’s outside a shop all night to be the first to buy a Polaroid television, or outside Ikea to get some chipboard coffee table for a tenner? A cunt that’s who and a cunt who doesn’t realise the shops actually put some old (when the product was first released) price on it and then say it’s 70% off.

What a piece of cunt.

I’m gonna get black friday stopped on racist grounds unless they have ‘White Monday’.

The cunts.

Nominated by Back & White Cunt