Fellow cunters, just to warn you that you only have until 5pm, Friday 25th September to preregister for your tickets for Glastonbury 2027.
I’m sure you all missed the event of the year tremendously, and are looking forward to attending next year at a mere £408 (+ postage ) per person.
Your ticket price includes use of the designated camping areas, so you can buy a cheap tent from Lidl and leave it behind, as usual, for someone else to dispose of, along with all the rest of your rubbish, as usual.
However, campers and caravans will incur an additional charge of between £225 and £300 depending on size. Book early to avoid disappointment, spaces are limited.
Oh, the anticipation and excitement!
Who will perform? Who will headline?
Will you have heard of them, ever?
Will Hollow Wobbletits and Clairol Voldemort make their usual pilgrimage to worship at the alter of celebrity?
I can hardly wait…for the inevitable sad tale of how some muppets with more money than sense got ripped off!
Nominated by : Jeezum Priest
There’s not a single person at ‘Glasto’ who isn’t a nuclear level twat.
If they got 80’s W.A.S.P or a reincarnated G.G Allin to perform, it could be fantastic.
Ed Sheeran could finally be entertaining if all his current (self-inflicted) troubles got the better of him and he topped himself live on stage with a stanley knife, the arterial spray fountaining over the stage security and showering the first couple of rows of pretentious wankers.
6
I am thinking of setting up a touring Glastonbury style flea circus to provide people who miss the real thing to be able to see minute impersonations of Bob Geddoff, Boner, and that cunt of undisclosed gender off the BBC enjoying the hospitality. Meanwhile tiny middle class fleas will mong about taking drugs and wank themselves off in front of a plywood pyramid.
Good morning, everyone.
6
Please reserve me 2 tickets, Twenty.
👌🏿
5
https://youtube.com/shorts/rLtLJB-tNkU?is=-UNly0izG96t2692
Jim nails it.
nuff said.
6
Rather shit myself on a tube train in rush hour than attend this clusterfuck of bollocks
I’m not an illegal either.
3
ive been to Glastonbury festival as a youth.
never paid to get in.
hitchhiked there an back.
full of twats.
I couldn’t imagine how bad it is now.
back then any celeb twat would have been pelted with mud and cow shit.
bomb it.
4
That was nice of you to volunteer to drive us to Wacken 2027 in your van, MNC.
Quite a trip from Northumberland to Germany, especially with the cost of diesel.
4
Careful Thomas.
He only offered to get us there, Not back again.
Mind you, with your gentlemanly handlebar moustache and my haggard good looks, we will probably end up being kidnapped by a couple of German metalfraus and held as sex slaves in their liebe kerker. 😁
1
That old upside-down headed cunt Michael Eavis clearly hasn’t made enough cash from this annual wankfest of washed-up “stars”.
That said, I think the old cunt has now handed the baton to his bulb-headed daughter with the prominent teeth.
Fuck off.
4
I wonder what marvelous work of art the mysterious anti establishment Banksy is working on that will be unveiled at next years festival.
It’ll no doubt be something edgy like his previous efforts.
Such as the union flag stab vest as worn by national treasure Stormzy or the dinghy full of hairy arsed fellas fleeing war torn Albania and Algeria.
I can’t wait.
3
make half the site for the thousands of enrichers 🙃…that should test the resolve of Tarquin and Tasha’s love in with the ‘ok yah, asylum seekers welcome here’ diarrhea 💩…’oh look tash capaldi is on next’ …’she is busy nah bro, come back later after de udders have used de meat’ …. bargain
4
There would be a tremendous irony should an illegal with a hissing backpack randomly detonate at Glastonbury.
Another fact that appears lost on these dimwitted cunts is that the Palestinians they claim to love so deeply, targeted an actual music festival in Israel not too long ago.
Question for Jemima and Arabella –
Did you know that quite a large number of Peacefuls actually hate music in all its forms and don’t even believe that a woman’s voice should even be heard in public?
No?? Thought not.
3
I gather there was no music at Glasteau this year.
So just like every other year.
4
The should combine the Notting Hill shit fest with ‘Glasto’, nice big fences to keep them all inside and let the carnage commence.
Free free Palestine and Death to the IDF, what a bunch of absolute cunts!
2
On run on eco friendly cow shit and tofu farts?
Of course it is.
Just like the completely recyclable tons of rubbish left behind by the middle class wankérs that attend.
Hopefully at the next one an obscure Afrikan “artist” can cause a rampant wave of Ebola to rip through the entire rabble of designer cunts.
Also,Oven.
Good morning.
1
“Only run on”….dear me this telephone is as much use as that shrivelled headed twát Bonio.
2
cunts paying all that dollar and standing there watching it via their phone screeen while recording it and simultaneously blocking the view of the cunts behind.
wankers
0