No doubt many will have heard of Swatch who make cheap plastic watches in funny colours..
In the latest bout of sheeple madness they’ve “collaborated” with the luxury watch brand Audemars Piguet to make some cheap plastic pocket watches worth about a tenner..
However this plastic tat has caught the publics attention..
“Swatch have closed their stores in cities across the UK after hundreds of people queued outside branches eager to buy a new limited watch.
The Swiss firm said it would not open, external its branches in the capital “in light of safety considerations for both our customers and our staff”.
Stores in Birmingham, Cardiff, Glasgow, Liverpool, Manchester and Sheffield will also remain closed.
The firm had been due to launch their new “Royal Pop” pocket watch collaboration with luxury watchmaker Audemars Piguet, with eight models priced from £335.
However the watch has been put on resale online for up to £16,000.”
Fuck off its a plastic fob watch with a cheap movement stuck inside it.
“In the Liverpool One retail area, some shoppers had been camping for two days outside the Paradise Street store.
Merseyside Police said they received a report that “a group of males were acting in an aggressive manner and making threats” outside the shop at about 07:00 BST on Saturday.
“Officers attended and the crowd dispersed shortly afterwards,” a force spokesperson added.”
Dear me the grasping stupidity of the masses is quite astounding.
Perhaps Our New Hero Andy Burnham will be throwing them into the crowds during his by election campaign?
Mass produced Cunts.
Nominated by : Unkle Terry
Well that makes sense.
People are queuing up to buy their overpriced tat so they shut their fucking shops.
They will probably open up again when people lose interest.
Fucking idiots.
Good morning.
10
Closing was a marketing ploy to drive the mindless cunts into an even greater frenzy just to get their hands on one.
2
I prefer the early elaborate Fob Watch, rather than be fobbed off with some soppy plastic tat.
9
I have a 1936 Ulysse Nardin and a 1933 Zenith. Both in gold and both surprisingly accurate considering their age.
5
Best for rise in value……. Rolex.
Worst for time keeping….. Rolex.
6
I was working in Switzerland a few years back and took time off to have a tour of the Zenith factory.
They also assemble some Rolex models..
https://www.zenith-watches.com/int/brand/visit-the-manufacture
4
I thought that Zenith are the more affordable part of Rolex.
Owned by the same people?
Probably just as good at time keeping, but not as good an investment without the parent company name.
4
Nope…. Just looked it up.
Two separate companies.
4
You’re thinking of Tudor, TaC.
They’re like Rolex, but for people who only sell a bit to friends.
I don’t own a Rolex, because 1. I don’t want one. and 2. They make over a million watches a year and are therefore as rare as Timex.
Ulysses Nardin make about 8000 watches a year and Zenith about 30,000.
The original Rolex Daytona Cosmograph movement was a Zenith movement.
Zenith are superior in every way.
2
Maybe increase the price to £16000, thus removing the grifters from the picture..
Then any moron that wants to pay that, gets their watch hassle free.
13
I despair. No wonder arseholes get elected.
15
They do a similar thing here.
Mrs Cunter went into the city year’s ago for the UB40 pop concert (yes, I know!).
Thousands of people there and all the bars shut early.
It wasn’t that they were worried about any violence, most of the people there were of an age that they actually remembered who UB40 were.
The bar staff just don’t want to work too hard.
9
I immediately thought that the group of males acting in an aggressive manner may have been ethnic types.
However, this image has been dispelled by the revelation that the fatso’s turned up and actually policed the incident.
Anyway, a scouse spokesman said ‘it wasn’t us like. It was da busy’s dat started it. And Maggie Thatcher’
15
People queuing for days to buy a watch.
Crikey, where do they find the time?
Alright, I’m leaving.
22
@geordie….hang on a sec !
12
dumb fuck public fall for watch company publicity stunt shocker
10
Presumably these are the same dickheads who queue for days to pay silly money for the latest Apple spy device.
Why bother, morons? Big Brother already knows where you are and what you’re doing.
14
And on the subject of spy devices, how gratifying to hear that a million quids worth of Chínk spookmobiles went up in flames in Southampton docks. Charlie Chan might be able to remotely disable his entire car fleet sold to the gullible West, but he can’t stop them catching fire.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/motors/39316524/jaecoo-electric-cars-destroyed-uk-docks-blaze/
11
🤣🤣🤣🤣
5
The worrying thing is they spontaneously combust at sea.
Not that I care much about the (mostly) Philippino crews or indeed the vast majority of container ships, but sometimes a boat might have my fucking stock on it.
6
News just in.
Andy Burnham has announced that a Swatch watch should be available to those who need help the most.
As soon as he has assumed power, you’ll be able to collect your free Swatch from any local benefits office.
Simply provide proof that you are a recipient of universal credit upon arrival. We’ll see if we can get your gas and leccy bills down at the same time.
Please note: if you are a working tax payer and/or white British, you can fuck off!
18
OT…unconfirmed as yet, but apparently that Vickrum Digwa cunt has been napalmed in prison…keeping my 🫰
17
Well it can only improve his looks, and hopefully burned that gay, wispy beard off that he sports..
Morning tommy.
13
Morning Bz…hopefully he keeps on getting attacked until he self checks-out.
If true, it would’ve been funnier if his attacker had burned him with scalding hot curry!
12
Never understood blokes who are into luxury watches.
it just tells the time, my phone does that.
My dad had a Rolex, but flogged it last year,
Not sure why he bought it in the first place.
i dont wear a watch they always get broken whien im working, so dont bother..
i DO own a pocket watch though.
found it on a house clearance,
solid silver,
no chain or key for it,
its in my bedside draw where i put it a few years ago.
fuck watches.
8
And of course Mis the time on your phone will always be spot on. Until the battery goes flat. Then useless. Like an EV.
9
I thought this colourful plastic tat had its day in the 90s. Presumably this is the same, but older demographic to whom these eloquent timepieces appeal.
The UK really is a nation of numbskulls.
13
They look like something youd get in a Lucky Bag.
or those machines outside sweetshops you put 10p in twist the lever and a plastic egg rolls out the chute.
Awful.
12
The latest thing to get mugged for.
Genuinely baffled why anyone would want one?
6
Unfortunately this sums up the state of the nation 😕…plastic tat with dumber than dumb 🧠dead 🐑 fighting over it 🤐 think I’ll put my old Timex up for grabs online and wait for the stampede … especially if I change the strap for a more trendy 🏳️🌈 one…⌚sooold to Mr izzard
8
Yet another example, if we needed one , of the shallow and brain dead state of a great many people 😜🤪😝😜🤪
There’s just no understanding some folk.
Lives filled with trivia and some bizarre sense of one upmanship.
Look at me, look at me !
Most of them are probably shrieking shirt lifters 👬
Wankers.
Not in a good mood this morning.
The lane is shut off for some fucking Iron Man event 🙄
When I was out with the dog earlier, I wandered over to the two dusky hued cunts manning the line of cones trapping residents in their homes…
JTC….If I need to go somewhere, what am I supposed to do ?
Can I not use my car ?
Dusky hued cunt#1….No, you have to find some other way of getting there.
Dusky hued cunt#2…Mumbles incoherently.
JTC.,…So I can’t use my car because some cunts want to go for a fucking bike ride ? Fucking ridiculous.
Dusky hued cunts collectively…..Roll eyes
What a load of cunt.
Good morning 👍
12
In 2001 or 2002 some group of eco cunts decided they would make the city centre 25 miles from where I lived into a ‘car free zone’ for a day. Now. This shit was not legally enforcable but a big old ‘Teach the World to sing’ / we can DO this if we all try everyone thing, like fucking picket line with makeshift barriers manned by right-on cunts, and cops not breaking heads & sending these cunts away, by earlier agreement.
I gott in my motor & drove the 25 miles to there JUST to drive around the Central Square 3 times and then the 25 miles back home again. 🙂
‘Get that fucking barrier out of my way’ is the only line I recall word for word. And lots of boos and swearing as proceeded, then, to indulge in both my paid-up road tax and fuel tax!
‘Got away’ with a lot more fun shit in the days before every brain dead cunt/mob was carrying a fucking video/camera in their pocket ..
10
We get cut off from our escape route out of London for some bike ride bullshit every year.
Fortunately the supermarket is on our side of the barriers, so I just load up on ale and listen out for the sound of a multiple bicycle pile up.
8
I fully understand your view Cuntemall, but I take the line that if the cunts make it difficult for me to get there I shall go elsewhere to buy goods and services. Encourage people to walk or pedal? Get fucking real! That’s the form of transport used by folks who are skint anyway and are therefore poor customers. I’m just waiting to see what happens when they close Oxford Street. Fun days to come I think.
6
I had no other business in the place that day except to give the 🖕to a bunch of cunts, celebrating themselves for their made-zero-difference on any scale whoop whooping. Rhis thing had been newspaper advertised, and radio as well for weeks in advance.
I’ve remembered since above, .. the final attempt to dissuade me (after at least 2 minutes of it) was a pitful ‘please don’t’ …. the cheeky cunt!, I’d already informed him I’d driven there especially … 😄
7
Good for you mate!
4
Rubber room on standby.Halfwits.
9
Talking of morons buying shite, please note, cunters, that “Sir” Leonard Henry is back … here are the tour dates – book early! (probably no need to queue though) …
https://www.fane.co.uk/lenny-henry
🧎🏻
10
Morning SB…he could just call it the “Reparations Tour ’26”, nag the audience about what colonial shits they are and then send round a giant bucket for them.to put all their white guilt money into.
I truly hope Lenny Henry contracts rectal cancer.
12
Lets be honest ,
if you buy a luxury watch your just paying for the brand name and trying to show off.
No harm in that like,, your money to spend
but its like those who buy aftershave at £100 !
its just perfume darling.
your being ripped off.
Or geriatrics in sports cars.
Hey ! Look at me！
are you all looking?!”
8
In 1998 I saw a watch on a magazine ad. Seiko Kinetic. No price. Said to g/f ‘I like that’ .. may look into it.
Hoping it was in the maybe 100 quid range tops, I found the range *started* at 500. Endsville, then. 2 years later I saw it in a shop window. 8 ton. Bought it, you only live once etc. I still like the thing. Haven’t worn it in 15 years. Maybe I’ll ‘spite for the world’ insist it’s on my wrist when ‘going through the curtains’ when I’m making the final exit.
8
Morning MNC…I like to inverse brag…as I work most days with Porsches, Lamborghinis, Ferraris, McLarens, etc…I like to park my increasingly rusty diesel 2001 Rover that I got for £200 front and centre in the car park.
It’s fucking magnificent.
12
Morning Thomas,
ive a customer whos a massive show off.
I like him, but always get the feeling hes insecure or something.
Hes away tanned like George Hamilton, and wanted me to come look at his new car.
A Bentley.
When you buy one you can choose personal touches,
hed had the leather on the dashboard done in mock snakeskin!!!
😵
i burst out laughing.
12
Ho ho, very good!
If I ever become wealthy, I’ll use it sensibly.
I think the headlining of the Rover would look particularly fetching in the finest quality nıgģerskin. Not sure about the ‘dusky’ smell though.
11
Thomas, what Rover model is yours? I bought a near mint, low mileage 2001 Rover Connie Tourer SE in February this year. Paid just over £1400.
It drives like a mini Bentley and looks the dog’s danglies.
7
Hi PM…how’s tricks?
It’s a 45 in dark green. Best 200 quid I’ve ever spent.
I had to sell the Allegro, alas…it was deteriorating too quickly!
Still got the rusty Mk2 Cortina which is running brilliantly.
7
Hi TTCE, I’m good, thanks. The 45 is an underrated gentleman’s carriage as is the 75. I have the diesel 75 with the superb BMW M47 unit.
A nice man from the Rover club is going to remap it for me, so I’ll see an increase in BHP from 114 to 160.
3
We have always had conspicuous consumption and it just washes over me I’m afraid. My 11 reg Focus has various little dings and scratches and the corners of both bumpers are scratched through to the grey primer. I’ll never fix ’em, being plastic they won’t rust and it gives just the impression I’m looking for. Folks in their leased new cars rarely hassle me, especially if they see the way it will go through roundabouts. They can’t see of course that I’m almost certainly running on better tyres than them.
As for scent, what sort of man uses cosmetics? I bet they send the wife to buy them. We’re posh, we’ve got showers.
6
…and number plates that narcissistic dyslexics think spell out their names. Look at me, my name’s TW4T and I want everybody in to know that I can afford this heap of shit and be envious as fuck.
Well get this, cunt: I can afford one as well but am not a self-obsessed boastful wanker so just fuck off, you utter cunt.
5
Apparently the Hackney empire only has limited tyre swings available. Bring your own banana.
8
The banality of this behaviour hasn’t dawned on those who queued for hours..
But at least they have the adrenaline rush when a chav in a balaclava threatens them with a machete and releves them of their £400 plastic toy.
Good morning.
6
I should also add that I am something of a watch collector myself,always liked them ever since seeing a Commodore lcd watch at a fete circa 1978.
But I’d never join a queue or waiting list.
Anyway I’m very busy,I’ve got to put a new battery in my new pink pocket watch,can’t remember where I got it.
Thank you.
5
Swatch, is that shite still going? Fuck me i thought they went out of business years ago.
Brain dead chavs trying to by the shit. Shows how fucked up this country is.
Anyhow what’s wrong with a 1980s digital Casio, works for me.
O/T Radio telling me that Zelenski is here again begging Two Tieir for more money, on the heels of an article where they said our UK forces are broke with no equipment. FFS.
12
Over the weekend there have been articles stating that our aircraft carriers are fucked again and the entire nuclear sub fleet are out of action for repairs.
This government are a bunch of incompetent cunts.
12
Morning Odin,
Don’t panic, don’t panic. John Healey is on the case !!! He sees you, he’s watching you……
4
Big fan of Casio watches…
11
I don’t know who the Sales Director is for Swatch.
Either a thick cunt or diversity hire…. Or both.
Because if you are selling watches that cost about £10 to make for £300 in your shops and then people are selling them online for £16.000, then simply put big signs up outside of your shops saying “SOLD OUT”.
Then sell every watch online through made up social media accounts for £16.000.
Am I thinking about this too much?
9
I worked with some blokes who were into watches, fuck me never seen so much bullshit in all my life, almost wanking each other over some mid range (£600) watches.
Sad cunts
9
I was in transit in Dubai airport in 2004.
Wandering round the duty free I found and brought a Rolex Air king.
The price was about a grand and although that was a lot of money then and now, it’s current value is €8.000 euros.
In fact, I recently complained about the price of €500 to have it serviced, saying that is about half of what I paid for the fucking thing.
The guy in the Rolex shop said, “Have you any idea how much these are worth now?”.
He got one out of his stock room to show me.
At the same airport I brought two 10 tola gold bars for around €800 each.
I have just looked up their current value.
€28.600…..!!!
It pays to speculate.
7
None of these guys had Rolex watches, it’s was more about the bullshit that was coming out
‘Oh feel the weight of that’
‘Oh yes that’s a good weight’
Oh do fuck off 😂
5
My current favourite wear is a Lotus Lumibrite..⌚
7
Just remembered an old joke when at school in the forties. What time is it when a Ford passes a Ford. Tin passed Tin.
5
Only ever remembering queuing all day and that was for something that only cost £3.50 and would be remembered for the rest of my life. Prom concerts for the arena in the Royal Albert Hall.
4
I love it when the watches say waterproof and have resistance to 20 or 30 atm pressure as I`m often deep-sea diving so I consider this a veritable boon.
Although Mrs Pubis approves of a deep dive every now and then.
😛
6
You’ve got more nerve than me PM. People sometimes suggested I was brave for flying a single engine light aircraft but if the engine failed even at 2000′ trim for best glide and you have five minutes before you hit the deck and you wouldn’t run out of oxygen. When you’re scared shitless that would be a long time in which to find a suitable place to land. Unless you were over the sea of course.
3
Remember the automatic watch. People were wanking themselves stupid to get it working.
3
Watches are for thinks-they’re-important City-type poofs.
5
my watch cost me 15 grand.
” how much was your handbag?”
6
My Rolex cost a fiver off a gadgie in the street.
He had dozens of them in his suitcase.
5
Charity Shop diamante
See you at Dawn 🤣👍
4
Swatch, Smatch. Watches for schmoes. My life!
4
cufflinks.
Another piece of pointless jewelery.
My shirts come with buttons,
no thanks.
expensive sunglasses.
everyone wants to be Roy Orbisons stuntman.
swanning about wearing 300quids worth of plastic looking like theyre on the way to the institute for the blind.
sunglasses? fiver tops.
ps
i own a pair of Ray ban sunglasses
found walking the dog early one sunday morning.
5