Nomination: Various footie cunts

To celebrate Ipswich’s return to the top division after twenty-fucking-two years away, I’d like to nominate a group of irritating footie cunts.

VAR: this useless fucking system has wrecked the flow of many a game just so a bunch of twats can sit in an office miles away from the game and decide (usually wrongly) that a striker’s eyelash is a nanometre offside. And such is the inherent bias of the system towards Scouse Cheats FC that LiVARpool regularly trends on Twatter.

Leeds: everyone hates these arrogant bastards who seem to think they have a divine right to be in the Premier league. Numerous disparaging comments about ITFC from Leeds supporters throughout the season. How did that work out for you, cunts? I fucking hope they lose in the playoffs.

Brighton: apparently the rentboys of the south coast are sniffing around Kieren McKenna. Fuck off and find your own promising young coach gaylords. They probably want to bum him.

But without a doubt the biggest football cunt of them all…

Jurgen Klopp: I fucking despise this cunt. Possibly the only person in their world I would physically assault if I was ever in the same room. Has gone completely native in Liverpool and spent the past nine years whinging about how hard done by the bin dippers are despite the ludicrous bias of both the FA and the media towards his shitty club. His latest moan is about too many 12:30pm kickoffs. Fuck off and die, you prick. Thought he going to win a Quadruple and ended up with the tinpot League Cup, a competition so pointless it only entitles the winners to enter into UEFA’s crappy Europa Conference League.

Go ITFC. Aiming for 17th next year!


Nominated by Emperor of East Anglia.

62 thoughts on “Nomination: Various footie cunts

  1. My team Coventry were knocked out of the FA cup in the semi final on penalties as one of our players left big toe was judged to be offside by some Man Utd supporting bloke in the VAR office.
    Still, it’s them that have to be humiliated (again) by Man City in the final so not all bad.

    • You deserved to beat us, Steaming.
      Coventry were well robbed, and we were shit in the second half.
      Always had a soft spot for Mark Robins as well.

      And I reckon City will shit us. Just like they did last year.

  2. I can’t argue with this nom, in particular Jurgen Klopp who is a real gurning prime cunt.

    He embraced the victim mentality of LFC and now personifies it.

    VAR is bolllocks.

    If McKenna has any sense he’ll go to Spurs and collect a 9 million payout when he’s sacked because he’s not the Messiah and can’t fix that shitshow.

      • Anyone would think he is going home like ET.
        Though with those gnashers, he might not be from this world.
        Could be a critter..

  3. Is Jimmy Leadbetter and his humpback still playing for the Town? I last saw him destroying us at Old Trafford when winning the league.

  4. Spurs are total cunt. It was not always so. Alan Gilzean, Ralph Coates, Mike England – great stuff. Now they have Richarlison.

    • And, of course, Greavsie. The greatest ever British striker, alongside Denis Law.

      Spurs were great to watch in the 80s too. Hoddle, Ardiles, Clive Allen,

      • How about Gazza? I’m a gunner, but was saying to someone the other day how exciting spurs used to be – buying argie players after the world cup (when foreign players were not that common) and gazzers skill. Happy days.

    • As an ex-Spurs fan, I have to concur.

      For a long time, Spurs were entertaining and a top half finishing team. One week they’d beat the best team in the league 4-1 and the next lose 0-2 at home to the worst team in the league. That’s how it was. I was fine with that because they always seemed to have that one standout player who got your pulse racing. Gazza, Hoddle, Ginola, Klinsmann, Berbatov, etc. They were brilliant to watch and just made your day when they did something with a football you could only dream about.

      Nowadays we’ve got Son who’s now past his prime and playing with a sea of shite around him. Plus that fat Aussie kangaroo fucker isn’t going to change shit at Spurs. He might think he will, but he won’t. Spurs is run to make money for the owners. It’s not run to be the best or even one of the best and to win things.

      Plus I could not be happier than whale tongue Kane fucked off to Bayern Munich to “win things” and ended up winning fuck all. Hahaha. Straight-legged penalty diving cunt. Kindly fall down a well.

    • Bring back, if there isn’t daylight, not offside. If a tackle in the area doesn’t finish a players career, no penalty.

  5. How’s Pressley Rangers doing these days?
    Can’t go far wrong with Wee Bandy playing left-wing.
    An Ted Drake weren’t a bad manager neither.
    Though he’s Chelsea, obviously.
    Afternoon all. 🌞

  6. I have been to Ipswich, that’s it really

    Lost interest in football years ago, Man City for the cup (only because they are playing those red cunts)

  7. I thought Man Yew cunts were furthest from the franchise (Yes, franchise, the teams of overpaid foreigners and their owners have fuck all to do with their home cities) But Ipswich from fucking Brisbane?
    Are there no mediocre teams in Oz?

  8. Full of soft cunts and sootys these days not like a face full of wet medicine ball from days of yore and clashes that would have players now having to leave the field rather than get up and crack on.

    • The difference between football and rugby?

      Football is a sport where you pretend to be injured.

      Rugby is a sport where you pretend that you’re not.

  9. Kevin Beattie was one of the best defenders i’ve ever seen when he played for Ipswich. But the poor bugger was injury prone.

  10. I’ve always had a soft spot for naaaarwich 😩… problem with your team going up contrary to your comment deserved it on merit 👏 not particularly arsed with other people’s ‘we all hate Leeds scum’ mantra in fact i think it’s hilarious, each to their own and all that … for VAR well you’ll have the pleasure of seeing it first hand 👌 whereas as per your wish ‘we get beat in the final’ we miss the pleasure 👍…. couldn’t give a toss regarding herr horse he is an honorary bin dipper for life I presume….awite wack

  11. Footah as it was in my day:

    GBH got you booked.
    Manslaughter got you sent off
    Murder got you a two-match suspension.

    The good old days.

  12. Good nom.

    I heard that Klopp on the radio this morning….: he fucking talked on and on for ages…. and it was utter shite coming out of his gob in a garbled voice reminiscent of ‘Zippy’ from Rainbow. The funny thing was, despite all the words, at the end of it I was none the wiser as to what it was saying.

  13. Now that Klopp has gone, there ought to be a market for lifesize upright table lamps. Switch it on & with that smile & teeth it would surely light up a room! Not being a Liverpool fan myself, I would definately purchase one. Maybe Colgate could market them perhaps.

  14. Sheep shagging Leeds fans are evil bastards. In the past they wouldn’t allow pubs to show the bigger United over the Pennines to be shown.

  15. Just a hunch but I feel like you’ll avoid relegation comfortably and manage somewhere 12th and 15th. You seem to be going places under McKenna and have wealthy enough owners to fund further ambitions.

  16. Good to see Ipswich back in the Premier League, and I think if McKenna has any sense he will stay where he is, for the first season at least. As a Palace fan I’d seen Brighton fans being delusional thinking they could take him as manager, but was he good enough for them!!
    Just as my time hit a rich vein of form, beating much ‘bigger teams’ by a few goals the season ends and all the focus is on why our players should go to the likes of Man United. Why? Other than money. Join a basket case of a club who we’ve just tonked 4-0 and took it easy for the last half hour.
    And you’re right about Klopp. Bought right into the victim mentality that had also spread to the blue side of Merseyside. Only decent thing is the new manager will probably be hounded the minute they don’t win a game.

    • Poor uncle Fester. He’s no idea what he’s signed up for.

      He should go to a few Liverpool forums and see all the Klopp out comments after they lost a game.

  17. Well done Ipswich.
    I enjoyed our one season back in the Championship and loved not having VAR; a quick glance at the linesman and you know the goal stands.
    Just saw a picture of Mr. Klopp and his wife under the headline ‘The Klopps go back this weekend’!

  18. That Uncle Tom gobshite clown Ian Wright has left Match of the Day. Didn’t see it, but apparently his departure nearly had those cunts Lineker and Shearer in tears.

    The poofery of the modern game is sickening. A pundit leaving – and especially one as crap and as irritating as Wright – is not cause for anyone’s tears for fuck’s sake.

    During the 1974 World Cup, can anyone imagine Pat Crerand. Brian Clough, Bob McNab, Derek Dougan or Malcolm Allison blubbing if one of them left the ITV panel? No, me neither. It’s absolutely ridiculous. Thae days of it being a man’s game are sadly long gone.

    I also have no doubt that another dark personage – man or woman – will fill Wright’s shoes on the MOTD sofa.

    • Too true, Big Norm. I remember when Alan Hansen pulled an exit stage left. I don’t recall that rat faced cunt Lawrenson having a meltdown.

      The fawning over Wright is OTT. He’s a woke box ticking piece of human refuse and needs to fall down a well. Anyone who is that close in proximity to arch bastard Lineker and not knock his teeth out deserves zero respect.

    • Why the fuck would they be crying? They’ve got his phone number, surely.

      I’m pretty sure they’ll bump into each other at the BBC whenever Wrighty is paid a ludicrous fuck-off fee to host a show on subject he knows absolutely nothing about.

      Dion Dublin’s got houses, maybe Wrighty could do some cooking.

      • Thanks Imitation, grim season, never walked out of so many games early in my lifetime. I don’t Wilder us the man to turn it around, you should never go back in my book, never the same second time around,

      • Violated Anal Retards I thought.

        And I couldn’t a monkeys wank about footballists, apart from it assaults my eardrums from the wireless, off switch hit.

  19. It’s a bit gay slagging off the League Cup whilst being an Ipswich fan. Aren’t these cunts all toothless farmers and sister-fuckers? These hobbledeehoys and turnip-nîggērs will be straight back down to where they belong: League 2.

  20. Loathe the Kraut Cunt’s fluorescent teeth. Please some sport do a Nobby Stiles on the fritzer gnasher flasher.

  21. Ipswich will be jumping on board the parachute payment merry go round, up and down for the next few years, stop giving relegated Premiershit clubs so much fucking money, it effectively ruins the Championship.
    VAR is a cunt. Klopp is a cunt.

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