Rap and it’s exponents.

Firstly we get this:

”A lot of us are not originally from the UK – we’re second- [or] third-generation immigrants,” says rapper Konan”

Not originally from the UK? Second, 3rd generation? Well I’m second generation Irish/Welsh that makes me ‘originally from the UK’ Fucking gibberish.

Then there’s:-

“African blood but British born. Which one am I? British if I win at sport, African when committing a crime.”

No, just carrying a fucking great chip.

Some cunt called Shaybo says:-

“In England, people come from so many different places, and so many different walks of life,” she says. “For example, I come from south London, and London itself is just very diverse, and we embrace so many different cultures.”

No you fucking dont. You come from a monoculture of violence, irresponsibility and crime. All of your own making.

Topped off with this from some staggeringly talented non musician called Konan:-

“We’re just becoming really proud of where we’re from, and how influential we’ve become. It’s really important to showcase your identity and being British – this is awesome and this is who we are.”

From drug, stabbing and crime centres across the UK cities. Really something to be proud of and to perpetuate in the drivel they rap.

Chiggun

BBC News Link

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Albanians.

Albania, sitting like a skid mark on the edge of Europe is sending us in the UK their finest. Thousands of the dinghy riders that have arrived already this year including about 60% of the 1300 cunts who made it here on Monday 22nd are from this cunthole.

Telegraph Link

The Pakis of Europe. No cunt wants them. Here to enrich us all with sex trafficking, people smuggling and drugs. Mostly young men with no criminal record (not that it would matter) sent by Albania based crime lords to set up business in Blighty. Not the poor women and children fleeing Middle Eastern shitholes and poverty stricken Africa the fart sniffers at the Guardian and BBC would have you believe.

The real blame of course lies with our useless bastard politicians who will never have to deal with these parasites once they have abscond from their 4* hotels and disappear into the criminal underworld, unless of course its to buy half a gram of coke to snort off some Romanian slappers tits at a room in the Brent Cross Holiday Inn.

Norman Wisdom films were shown during the dark days of Communist dictatorship and he visited the country where he was treated like a hero. Now the joke is well and truly on us.

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator

Captain Magnanimous isn’t too pleased with these cunts either

Albanians are cunts, aren’t they.
_______________________________
Border Force: Why are you seeking asylum?
Albanian Drug-Dealer: My country no money. I no money. Also, being safety.
Border Force: That’s an invalid reason.
Albanian Drug-Dealer: Ees dangerous. Too many violence. Plenty shooting.
Border Force: Albania is not at war
Albanian Drug-Dealer: I running terror.
Border Force: Albania is a NATO country
Albanian Drug-Dealer: No, erm….I from Kosova. Escape war. Serbia. Gun gun.
Border Force: That war finished 25 years ago.
Albanian Drug-Dealer: Please. Long journey. Go in Montenegro, then Bosnia, in Croatia, Slovenia, Austria, Germany, then France.
Border Force: Why have you turned your nose up at seven safe countrres?
Albanian Drug-Dealer: No have good hotel like UK. No have free food and money and laptop. Me want hotel dressing robe and svimming pool.
Border Force: I’m sorry. This is a fraudulent application. Take him to the detention centre at Heathrow.
Albanian Drug-Dealer: Waiting one minute. (Clears throat) I would like to claim asylum because I have been trafficked here against my will for the express purpose of being forced to work in a black market job and therefore I appeal under the Modern Day Slavery Act for protection.
Border Force: Ahh, well in that case step right this way. What size hotel dressing gown would you like?

So it has been many years since I walked these harrowed halls, but like a waif I have returned with tales of woe,

Trail Cameras, They are cunts.

Now long in tooth and fair of heart I have taken to caring for my mother, who surprisingly enough is more decrepit than myself, a widow hitting 80 and of limited mobility she spends her days commuting between bedroom and lounge.
Her pride is her patio, bird feeders and bird bath, she make a morning ritual of pouring the contents of the kettle over any offending weed that dares to show its head amongst the paving.

A while ago she commented on a new arrival, a strange bird that she struggled to identify due to poor eye sight and the speed of the bird.

Being a dutiful son I bought one of my trail cameras round (a motion activated camera) and set it up on the patio to capture on film the little visitor.

Two weeks later I collected and downloaded the camera and to my surprise found that I had set it to video capture 5 seconds.

I had 314 little films to flick through to find the mystery creature.

Anyway I set about the edit, mainly a sodding pigeon of which I had approximately 200+ films of, a couple of cats at night, a hedge hog and most traumatic of all, my mother bending over to dowse a weed in boiling water in her night dress and no knickers!

Some things, you cant un see, I have seen my place of origin in graphic technicolor detail, I don’t know who the cunt is, me for putting the camera there or her for exposing herself .

Obviously I have wiped the images from the camera and my laptop, with the aid of alcohol I hope to strip the other one from my memory

Nominated by: lord benny(not quite deceased, but close)

(In case you’re not sure what trail cameras are: Day Admin – Trail Camera Guide )

Let’s keep a dangerous pet. What could possibly go wrong.

How about this, then?
Just what you want to see when you’re on the throne.
It’s harmless, apparently.
Anyone lost a cat, dog, small child recently?
I cannot believe the idiocy, 18 foot python, the ideal pet, for a mong with 2 braincells.

BBC News Link

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest