Let’s keep a dangerous pet. What could possibly go wrong.
How about this, then?
Just what you want to see when you’re on the throne.
It’s harmless, apparently.
Anyone lost a cat, dog, small child recently?
I cannot believe the idiocy, 18 foot python, the ideal pet, for a mong with 2 braincells.
Nominated by: Jeezum Priest
To misquote Mae West “Is that an 18ft python in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?”
The intelligence (or lack of) of some people knows no bounds!
15
Snakes and lizards seem a boring pet in my opinion?
Just lay about blinking bit like Sasha Johnson.
Lots of people have them though,
Big tanks in the living room all lit up.
What’s in there?
“A bearded dragon!!’
Just like a stick wrapped in leather.
Boring.
Get a rabid skunk,
Or a baboon .
19
Bearded Dragon?? Sounds like Emily Thornbury’s growler…
16
It was eventually picked up by a neighbour who recognised it and returned it to its owner.
Everyday occurrence then…..
14
Knew a bloke in the army who kept a python. Bit of a mong who wasn’t popular with the frauleins. Think he trained the snake to go up his ringpiece at the weekends, the dirty fucker.
17
18 foot python? Thats nothing. Klaus Schwab keeps 3 Tiger Sharks with machine guns on the sides of their heads in a giant tank beneath his office at the WEF. He presses a big red button and deposits any unfortunate lackey that crosses him right into the jaws of Heinrich, Eva and Renhardt.
I think most of these people with dangerous pets are just goofy look-at-me cunts. Look at that woman in the picture, she clearly has not had the pleasure of any gentleman paste up her orifices in quite some time i would say. Sad bint.
17
@Cunthulu.
Quite so.
This whole Klaus Schwab thing is a strange one isn’t it.
One minute there’s no Klaus Schwab – the next thing there’s this 80 year old super villain with a thick German accent telling the world that “Vot vee need iz zer Grrrreat Reset!”
Sorry mate – who the fuck are you again?
16
Indeed Herman. People who keep snakes, lizards, spiders etc do generally conform to a certain aesthetic and social ‘type’.
Fat
Ugly
Lank, greasy hair
Tattooed to buggery
Face full of scaffolding
Socially retarded.
Cunts basically.
Heavy metal/emo t-shirt
15
Cunting phone
5
Agreed Herman. Schwab seemed to crawl out of nowhere like a Teutonic Gollum. He’s left the SPECTRE shenanigans a bit late at his age though as he looks like a mild winter away from death.
Can’t stand plastic tyrants like this Schwab cunt with all the secretive behind the curtain bollocks. Would be quite happy to take a giant fiery vindaloo fueled shit on this Kraut’s grave at his funeral with everyone watching.
9
Multi millionaire, related to the Rothschilds.
He was always there, you just couldn’t see him, but not in a Santa sort of way 🙂
7
I wish old Uncle Klaus would crawl back to his rock and die a quick death.We don’t need the WEF saying “you vill own nuffink und be happy.”Twat.
8
Nail on the head Call with your ‘look at me, look at me’ comment. Always but always these people with their ‘edgy’, faux-dangerous pets whose sphincters would pucker immediately at any real danger in their lives, all making up for some void in their lives unhappy childhood or social inadequacy. I suppose we should feel sorry for them. But nah- theyre cunts. (A boy in my school had a pet tarantula and he was a cunt.)
11
I’ve always wondered why you would want to keep of all things, a spider as a pet?? What is the point? What does it do apart from sit in an enclosure and eat crickets? It’s not like you can play catch with a Tarantula? Take it to a groomer for a nice blowdry? Put a harness on it and take it for a little walk? Let it sleep on the bed while you and the wife watch Eastenders???
There are people who have loads of them on YouTube. I don’t get it. They always look like greasy maladaptive shitbags who have never had a shag in their lives though.
9
I enjoy the heartwarming stories where said pet goes on a rampage.
Like fruity magicians Siegfried & Roy, nothing like a tiger gnawing on your neck to realise this might of been a mistake.
15
Yanks are the biggest culprits for dangerous pets.
Lax laws in some states and a innate lack of intelligence combined with Billy Bob’s look at me grandstanding see Lions, tigers, and bears kept as pets.
I feel sorry for the animals.
Big apex predators that should be in their natural habitat not kept as a pet for some slack jawed yokel.
Admin once put on a audio that was a bloke who kept a grizzly getting due karma when the bear turned on him and killed him.
Chilling…
11
Agree MNC. The whole situation with Burmese Pythons in the Everglades fucking up the ecosystem started because a number of cerebrally-vacant yanky doodles wanted the snakes as small cock compensators but couldn’t handle them and released them into the wild.
Their solution to the incredibly invasive species causing havoc in the Everglades? Set up hunts so Hillbilly Joe and his 5 cousins all called Cletus can shoot their guns at the ceiling indoors and try to capture the slippery serpents in between necking copious amounts of potato skin moonshine. It doesn’t help that the snakes could probably checkmate these people in a game of chess. America should have stayed a British colony.
10
This is a difficult one for me….just recently I decided to take the Hound who comes everywhere with me for a walk near the village where I grew up…hadn’t been for years and we were across that way. I keep him on a length of leading rein if I think there could be loose dogs around…he came from a fella who “worked” him until he was injured,which is when I got him..and can be funny about dogs that come charging up…I should probably say that curiosity drove me to have him DNA tested..he is a cross between a greyhound and an American Pitbull/American Staffy.
Anyhow…as we were walking along,I saw coming towards us a fella with 2 black labs.off lead. I shouted politely at him to please keep his dogs back…he tried but they ignored his shouts and came charging up to the Hound who went mental….one of the labs stopped just shy of us but the other didn’t and Hound attacked it….took only seconds but before I could get him off,Hound had fucked it up.
The fella had caught up by the time I got Hound off and was screaming that my dog was dangerous…I told him that I’d shouted at him to keep his dogs back and he replied that his dogs were friendly and had never bitten another dog. I actually felt sorry for him and his dog but as far as I’m concerned, Hound was on lead and “safe”. The fella tried to tell me that I’d be getting his Vets bill….I told him to Fuck Off.
16
No your fault that, Dick. Feel sorry for the lab, but I always keep my 2 hounds on a lead even though they’re friendly because their recall is shit when they see another dog. Daft fucker should’ve known his dogs would do that & you can’t assume other dogs are friendly, plus the fact you warned the silly cunt.
11
Stupid thing is that Hound is generally fine…unless dogs come at him “looking for bother”…if they’re wagging their tails and wanting to play,he just ignores them.
8
Morning Dick,
I’ve had the same experience.
Walking a woodland track, my dog is always on a lead and harness,
A dog appears up the track , some sort of hound , vizla?
It was growling, hackles up, and clearly wanted a fight.
Its owner appeared,
Woman engrossed in her mobile phone,
I shouted “get your dog”
‘oh he’s ok ‘
And then as it got nearer my dog just exploded,
Knocked it about 6ft and started mauling it.
I dragged her off and the other dog screaming ran off.
The woman went mad,
Saying my dog was dangerous and should be muzzled.
As I pointed out to her
The law states your dog’s should be under your control at all times.
And she should get hers on a fuckin lead.
11
Aye…the fella was saying that I should have him muzzled…but as far as I’m concerned, if he had recall of his dogs,it wouldn’t have happened.
Still feel a bit sorry for the lab though.
8
It learnt a valuable lesson.
Look for trouble you’ll find it.
7
The assumption by thick as shit owners that their dog is no harm to anyone and doesn’t need to be on a lead often ends in disaster.
And rightly so,a dog should be under complete control of its owner.
Otherwise all bets are off.
9
Exactly. I remember when my eldest daughter was young and I took her out to the park on her bike, a dog came running up, knocked her off the bike and started jumping up at her. Absolutely terrified. Owner does the usual “He won’t hurt her” bullshit. I delivered a swift boot to the mutt, picked my daughter up and delivered some feedback to the owner about her dog-handling skills that reduced her to tears and my daughter to a new lexicon. She’s had a phobia of dogs ever since. Pts are always told to lock any animals away, when they call us, but you probably wouldn’t be surprised at the dull fucks that don’t and think it’s acceptable to have them slobber over our medical kit. Not on my fucking watch, though!
8
Dogs should always be on a lead when going for a walk.
Looked after my brother’s Jack Russell a few times if he went on holiday. Typical Jack Russell. Very soft with those he knew, but hated strangers and any dog he didn’t know well. Even massive fucking dogs with huge square heads and teeth like a T-rex.
All the family knew to keep the daft cunt on a lead because he’d start a fight with a family of Pit Bulls if he came across them. Didn’t give a fuck. Thought he was a big hard case, like most Jack Russells seemingly do.
Fuck it, stupid fucker would’ve jumped on Godzilla with his teeth out.
Died at about 20 years of age. Wouldn’t have lasted 20 minutes without his lead on though.
6
Wasn’t called ‘Hate filled cunt’, by chance?
5
The thick as mutton owners are the ones who should be put down, its not just about other dogs, Farmers are constantly fed up with dogs not on leads harassing their livestock, and at times leading to deaths of lambs or chickens.
There is no excuse for such stupidity, like those who drop their rubbish wherever they go, a tasering or a heavy fine is the only language these moronic dregs understand.
3
Morning fellas.
I can relate to this one.
A few months back I’m walking the whippet in the nearby woodland (harness and lead on – as always) when I got to a small area where a Chelsea tractor was ominously parked up in the roadside.
I turned the corner immediately after when out of nowhere, 3 working Cocker Spaniels (all off the lead with no owner in sight) all aggressively started attacking my dog. One of the unruly little bastards in particular was trying to literally tear fucking lumps out of my dog.
Although the Whippet was giving it back to them I was left with no choice but to use the handle on the harness to lift him up and well out of harms way before delivering a swift boot to the head of the most aggressive of these Spaniels.
While this commotion was taking place the owner of the 3 spaniels and Chelsea tractor turns up.
Young lass aged about 25 with all the outdoors type gear on, obviously trying to look the part whilst having absolutely zero control over these 3 dogs.
She then had the cheek to tell me I was “out of order” for hoofing her crazed dog so she was told in no uncertain terms what I thought of her, her dog ownership skills and what she could go and do.
Stupid fucking tart.
15
Morning Herman 👍
Dogs are like people,
They can be right cunts.
May I suggest on walks a stout walking stick?
A solid swipe to the muzzle or ribs can deter a dog with a Liam Gallagher mentality.
I’ve a akita, massive like a bleeding bear,
I’m always surprised how many little ankle biter dogs fancy their chances and want a fight!
8
The Akita is a fine creature Mis.
Sometimes the larger dogs are afraid of the tiny ankle biter types.
Must be the yapping and rodent like appearance.
There’s a woman lives near me with a couple of psychotically aggressive chihuahua type things.
Rotten little bastard things always seem to catch me and the whippet by surprise when we walk past the garden fence.
It’s moments like that when an 18 ft python would definitely come in handy.
6
Hahaha 😄👍
5
You should have given her a kick in the cunt as well. Bellends like that make me sick.
5
You are correct in law Sir, I have a similar beast but always keep him muzzled on walkies. I have modified said muzzle with Velcro so that it can be removed in an instant, should the need arise, as it would take less than 2 seconds for her to kill an average dog or, God forbid, an over-curious child.
Not the bi-curious children, obviously, I feed those to her for breakfast.
8
I’d quite like to see the headline, PRINCE GEORGE’S CROCODILE GEORGE EATS .MEGRAINE. I suppose she’d look the same coming out of the other end.
12
Those pythons make excellent draught excluders!
8
I think that the owners of caged birds are all cunts.
I don’t particularly like the feathery fuckers but having them locked up and never being able to fly seems cruel and unnecessary.
The ones that skwark all the time seem particularly pointless.
12
Neighbour had their cat tethered in the back garden. At least it didn’t crap all over the rest of the gardens in the area..
4
I kept a Slow Worm for a while when I was 10.
Don’t know if that counts.
8
Retards
6
Found a field of glow worms out walk one night. Told a friend about it who went back the following night searching with a torch and called me a liar.
4
I wished Mickey Jackson had lived long enough to get mauled off Bubbles the chimp.
A savage attack where his nose is bitten off and him requiring extensive plastic surgery leaving him looking exactly how he looked anyway.
8
Chewing off Sambo’s nether regions also, for trying to make a monkey out of him.
5
What is it with nutters that keep ‘exotic’ pets? All the women are fucking munters that do, and all look like that bird in the nom pic, and they all live in flats or houses far too small for them.
6
Had stick insects as a kid, population grew exponentially and the cunts were forever escaping and annoying my mum. Got bored and set then all free in the hedge, hoping to cause an environmental disaster. First hard frost fucked those that had survived the sparrows. I could have been a Bond villain like Musk and Gates if I had really put my mind to it. Unfortunately am a lazy cunt who discovered the joys of masturbation and got distracted.
10
Off topic..! Check out bbc4 program ” satanic verses 30 years on”
Your piss will boil OVER..!
6
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0002thf
4
We keep a wasp behind the blinds.
7
I dread to think what sort of pet is in the Worcestershire bike shed.
Something out of horror film probably.
7
He’s got a miniature poodle called Fifi.
6
Oooh, you’re gonna pay for that cheek, Mis!
Make sure you turn up, though, ‘cos he won’t back down.
6
There’s an illegal club who eat endangered species and rare animals. I’d love to let these cunts loose on a tribe of cannibals.
4
There was once some mad cunt who cooked his nob and balls for paying guests.
3
I always found the mongs who kept exotic pets always had a pre-payment meter. The amount of abuse I got because exotic pet karked it from cold. Zero fucks given by me. I always told them to make sure they had a credit meter. i can’t afford that. FFS.
4
The Japs thought racc oo ns would make great pets.
A few had them imported from America. Became a bit of a craze. Then, they realised the animals made poor pets. It was almost impossible to house train them. They could go from cute and friendly, to claws and teeth out with an ‘I want to fucking kill you ‘ snarly look ok their faces in seconds.
Result was they all got thrown into woods and forests and the whole country is full of them.
Silly twats.
Still, better than pa k eaze.
4
‘Kinnell! kinnell! It’s gone fuckin mental!’
Are usually the last words the emergency services hear from these idiiots.
5
Hahaha 😄
That made me giggle Odin👍
5
It’s a lovely looking creature, unlike the bint with the died hair and tattoos.
Belongs in a zoo, or the Everglades.
1