Dead Pool [213]

Congratulations to Liberal Liquidator who has won Deadpool 212 by correctly predicting the next famous person to conk out.Anne Buydens was an actress philanthropist and producer and widow of Kirk Douglas.Buydens was 102 and had been married to Douglas for 65 years until his death 14 months ago.

Rules

1) Pick 5 famous cunts you think will conk out next. It is first come first served. You can always be a cunt and steal other cunters’ nominations from previous pools.

On to Deadpool 213

2) Anyone who nominates the world’s oldest man or woman is a cunt and will be ignored.

3) It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

4) If your pick has already been taken, tough titty. Pick someone else because we can’t be arsed to check.

5) New Rule: Nominations can only be changed if some cunt has beaten you to it and your nomination is invalidated. Otherwise, stick with your five until the next round.

Justin Welby : Archbishop of Cunterbury (13)

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to offer a Holy cunting to the Archbishop of Starmer land, who seems to have mistaken his doctor of divinity qualification for that of a doctor of medicine, as he calls for an enquiry into the Coronavirus crisis:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9495321/Archbishop-Canterbury-puts-pressure-PM-Covid-inquiry.html

Like that other posturing old queen , Anthony Blair, he seems to think he has carte blanche to meddle in matters far above his competence and intelligence.

Justin should stick to his organ and the choirboys and shut the fuck up.

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

Jeremy Clarkson (4)

I nominate the man in the picture at the top of the nomination page. Jeremy Clarkson.

I’m sure he is (or was) a hero to many on ISAC.

I have always found him entertaining especially on Top Gear before it transformed into a yobs’ night out. He was irreverent and very funny. He was forever taking the piss out of foreigners. He referred to the MD of BMW (Bernd Pischetsrieder) at the time of their ownership of MG Rover as “Burnt Fishtrousers”. He also had no time for political correctness.

He was thus our kind of guy. Thus is came as something of a shock that he was pro-Remain. This was mainly because leaving might curtail his off-spring’s jolly wanderings around europe. Very middle class. But then he was a public schoolboy so what did we really expect?

In his Sunday Times magazine column (18/4/21) he got very annoyed. He is now playing at being a farmer and was aghast that the seeds he ordered from abroad took a little longer to arrive. In fact he got so angry that he drove over to a neighbouring farmer whom he knew had voted for Brexit, wound down his window and called him a “cunt”.

Earlier in the piece he disparaged Brexit voters invoking the usual “too old, too ignorant” cliches. He also dismissed our excellent vaccine roll-out and said that Europe was lagging behind due to EU bureaucracy. Er, yes, precisely.

Sorry, Jeremy but you have unveiled your establishment origins and you are a cunt.

https://www.express.co.uk/celebrity-news/1424659/Jeremy-Clarkson-farm-covid-brexit-uk-leave-EU-disaster-house-net-worth-news-latest-update

Nominated by: Lord Helpuss

Yarn Spinners & Plot Tellers


I like a good plot in a book or film but I hate when people insist on telling it to you. My wife and mother-in-law just love to recount everything they can recall about some shit film or TV series they have been watching. My mother-in-law goes even further by telling us about meals she had 40 years earlier. “I had a fantastic steak in a restaurant in Sorrento in 1973. It came with stuffed mushrooms and a risotto and was cooked just the way I like it. The service was wonderful and the toilets were very clean.” Big deal!

Another irritating habit they have is to read bits of the newspaper out to each other at breakfast. As I am always up hours before them, have already eaten and read the rag, I know what it says so I don´t want to hear it again. Shut up both of you!

Nominated by: Mr Polly

Seconded by: Jessum Priest

Mr. Polly. You sort of had something there, but kind of spoiled it by making it a rant about wife and MIL.

Try this. I hate it when someone recommends a book to me, I’m a big reader, then spoils it by telling me what it’s about, including the shock ending.

Utter, utter cunts.

Demi Lovato (4)

Demi Lovato (yes again)
I’m no astronomer but I have discovered the center point around which the universe revolves. Turns out that it is the person trying to be a contender for Cunt of the Year: Demi Lovato.

The world is not exactly to her liking yet so she feels compelled to make sure we all know where we are going wrong. Some of her life experiences have been traumatic, so any person, business or entity that displays a lack of sensitivity to her trauma needs to be called out. The latest ones to touch a raw nerve with this twat is a frozen yogurt place in California that caters to the healthy and trim clientele. This insults poor Demi who has had eating disorders in her past.

She is getting a lot of blow back from people about this as she should.
Every few days this cunt seems to once again put her cuntitude on full display prompting a swift cunting. For a woman with a man’s chin and supposedly full of “girl power” she sure is a fragile cunt. I can’t wait to see what offends this pathetic woke worrior next.

She will be on my Dead Pool submissions from now on as a wimminz this fragile is due for another tumble off the wagon soon.
Fucking child star snowflake cunt!

https://mol.im/a/9485671

Nominated by: Meat Curtains