The highly anticipated return of our roving ex-royal reporter Ron Knee with his latest installment. For those wishing to re-cap the action so far, please review the prior volumes from the ISAC archives:
The Markles: An Everyday Story of Cunty Folk [Vol. 1] [Vol. 2] [Vol. 3] [Vol. 4]
The story so far; in order to compete with HM the Queen’s New Year’s Honours List, the Markles have decided to launch their own awards, focussing on those whom the couple feel have promoted causes important to them. Now read on;
“Kaaaaboom! Takka takka!” yelled Harry the Half-blood Prince excitedly, wheeling his games console from side to side. “Take that, you blighters!”.
“Fer Gaahd’s sakes Harry, hush ya mouth! Li’l Archie’s a-sleepin’!” hissed Meghan, throwing her nail file to the floor, leaving a menial to rush over and retrieve it. “What ya doin’ anyways?”.
“Just having a pop at the jolly old game dear grandpater sent me for Christmas” he responded sheepishly. It’s dashed good, called ‘Taliban Massacre VI’ dontcha know. See how many ragheads one can knock off. I’m on level two now. Reminds me of the good old days” he added whimsically. “Swannin’ about Helmers in the good ol’
gunship. Danger around every corner, life on the edge, wot?”.
The Duchess of Disdain’s thin lips twisted into a smirk of barely concealed contempt. “Life on the edge?” she sneered, “don’t make me laff. Ya couldn’t even take a dump without a company of SAS on hand ta wipe ya ass”.
“I say, that’s a bit harsh”, whined Halfwit piteously. “There were a lot of dodgy coves about in Affers. A chap couldn’t be too careful”.
“You! Fetch me an iced soy latté at once!” hissed the Sultana of Snarls at a hapless flunky. “Jesus H Chraast Harry” she continued. “Ya supposed ta be workin’ on a list of candidates fer our first honours list. Ah wanna get the jump on that ol’ buzzard of ah granmaw of yours, an’ New Year’s neary on us!”.
“Of course, my angel”, said the Duke of Dimness, hastily hurling his toy to one side. I have a list here. I remembered what you told me, about the nominees all reflecting our role as the Duke and Duchess of Diversity”, he added quickly, a cold shudder sweeping over him as Meagain’s eyes narrowed to slits and focussed on him like lasers.
“Mmm…okay”, murmured the Duchess menacingly. “Let me hear what ya’ll have come up with”.
“Ya, well”, muttered the Ginger Whinger, scratching his bald spot vacantly. “I’ve got Ellen DeGenerate and Sir Elton for starters, a nod to the tuppence lickers and shirt lifters, wot?”.
The Duchess’s head sank into her hands. “Holy shit! Lissen up, ya dimwit! It’s the ‘LGBT Community’! Cain’t ya geddit right fer once? We’re ‘woke; we don’t use terms like that, ‘specially when the servants are around!”.
“Sorrers old girl, force of habit”, muttered the Prince of Sighs lamely. “I am trying”.
“Yeah right, very trying”, snapped the Princess of Perfidy. “Continue”.
“Well sweetness, I thought we could put in Caitlyn Jenner. It’s (sorry!) they have been a great a great champion of the tranny cause. Next I’ve got Greta Thunburg, who’s been so vociferous in the environmental cause that’s so dear to us when we’re not whizzing about in a private jet. Then there’s Joe Biden. He’s going loopy, so that’s got the mental health angle covered”.
Megan sat back and crossed her sparrow legs, nodding thoughtfully. “Not bad so far”, she conceded, but ya ain’t covered all the bases. It’s all a bit…whitey”.
“No problem pumpkin”, said Halfwit quickly. “I’ve got Sir Lewis of Hamilton, who’s been banging on about BLM all year. Then there’s that darkie chap George Floyd, for his services to race relations…”.
“Yes”, she nodded. “St George, a posthumous award to a martyr for the cause. I’d say that ya ain’t as dumb as look Harry, ‘ceptin’ that ain’t possible. Look, we’re makin’ good progress here. We need ta get our p.r. people on it raht now”.
Suddenly there was a “hic” and a rasping fart from the cot in the corner, causing a flunky to materialise instantly at Meghan’s side with a bottle. “Ya took ya time”, snarled the Mistress of Malice venomously. ” Ah’ve a good mind ta fire ya. This bottle better be at the raht temperature, or it’ll be so much the worse for ya”.
“Burp!” said Archie into the shaking maid’s face as she handed him fearfully to Meghan. “Peasant!”,
The Duchess’s eyes widened in surprise and adoration. “Oh Harry”, she simpered.
“His first word!”.
To be continued.
Nominated by: Ron Knee
With a footnote provided by Quick Draw McGraw:
Let’s not make any mistake here. It’s not Meghan and Harry, it’s Meghan. She’s a scheming bitch For years, she was a fairly unknown z list actress. Then she came to London, allegedly with the intention of finding a rich, famous man to marry, and thereby bring lots of fame her way. It’s been claimed that she spent a long time asking if there were any rich, famous men available in London, then she literally struck pay dirt.
She married Harry, not out of love, but out of a desire for a title and status. Titles and status bring power. Now she’s a Duchess. And there is nothing more powerful than having royal status. Unfortunately, Harry’s head was turned by this scheming bitch and he has literally turned his back on EVERYTHING that he once held dear, including his family. Now, granted, there’s a pandemic, so a meeting in personal would be difficult, but the Queen hasn’t seen little Archie for over a year. You have to be a grade A cunt to deny one grandmother access to her grandson, when Meghan’s mother gets to see him all them time.
Sublime Ron 👏👏👏
Quickdraw-I would feel sympathy for Harry, if:
A-he wasn’t such a thick cunt-drunk twat
&
B-I would like to see the monarchy end with Lizzie. Charles, Andy-pandy and Hewitt are speeding that along, nicely👍
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Thanks CG.
I know that I keep having a go at these two on here, but they’re such a couple of entitled, up themselves cunts that I can’t help myself. I’m drawn like iron filings around a magnet.
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TT RK@ – Arise Sir Ron!
Cromwell would have sorted plank and skank.
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Do FIAT make white coaches?
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I am sick and tired of the Duchess and Duke of Hewitt (note Duchess first).
Yesterday, in the Telegraph the following article appeared https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2020/12/31/sussexes-launch-archewell-prince-harry-declares-mothers-son/ in which Prince Cuckold declared that he is his mother’s son. Well, that’s stating the bleeding obvious, isn’t it? What he forgets to mention is that he is also James Hewitt’s son.
I remember back in 1997 getting really pissed off with the constant appearance in the news of Princess Di and her “companion” Dodo Fayed. Now that I am getting really pissed off with the omnipresence of MeAgain, Duchess of Hewitt, I wonder if she will be followed by a white Fiat Uno, this time with Mohammed Fayed at her side.
On a lighter note…
What do you get when you plug Katie Price into the mains?
An electric bike!
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Quite super Ron.
I don’t know who wears the trousers with this pair of cunts and I couldn’t give a fuck.
I’m just glad they fucked off out of it.
On the same level as the Karcrashians.
A bag of entitled turds.
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Yip.
Once queeny goes that’s it done. Just bring the curtain down.
Chuck ,Andy and Eddie are all twats. Anne,give her her due,is reasonable and keeps a low profile.
William, oh please. Gormless , and Harry Hewitt ain’t even royal. Hasn’t the penny dropped with him yet? Look in the mirror ya dumpling.
The only reason I might support it going on is the thought of some cunt like Bliar being head of state. Without a monarchy we would have a president. Imagine if bliar had been president and head of state? Or bumbling Mr blobby Johnson?
Cunts one and all.
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Uttercunt:-at least we could vote the fuckers out, every four years👍
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That is true.
But still…bliar as head of state? Unbearable thought.
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The downside is that cunts like Joe Biden steal the election.
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Monagasque Political Sytem with Constitutional Monarchy with power of veto. Not perfect, but as good as you’ll get.
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Not a problem, Uttercunt. Simply shift the real power down a tier and nominate some beloved harmless old fart to Head of State. Give ’em enough enough ribbons to cut, medals to hand out, and booze to drink and job’s a good ‘un.
(I nominate Sir Limply Stoke to this august position.)
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With Dick Fiddler the power behind the throne, obviously.
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She gives me the ‘orn.
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That is as maybe but we are considering the future of the monarchy. Besides, from the last time you were up before the beak, evidence suggests that you are all too easily aroused.
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Wouldn’t it be fun if Harry H loses his title and she fucks off with Sir Lewis….. if only.
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Oh please bring it on!
Him limping about back here with his tail between his legs like a beaten puppy. Her swanning about in Monte Carlo trying to pretend that she’s ‘woke’ Grace Kelly…
I’ll sharpen my pencil in readiness.
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Might I suggest that, should this glorious scenario come to pass, you opening line should be ‘ Ashen face, tight lipped Harry….. ‘
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Sid and Doris Bonkers
Latest score (3mins)…
Inter Dollis Hill 0 Neasden Res 4 (Pevsner 2 og; Rees-Mogg ; Hodgson)
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Guzzi;
if I do another ‘Markles’ any time, can I pinch the ‘ashen faced, tight-lipped Harry’ line?
It’s great!
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Ron,
It’s ‘when’, not ‘if’. ISAC subscribers demand it and, besides, those two are the gift that keeps giving!
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How depressing to read such cynical posts about what the Duke and Duchess are doing with their Archewell Foundation.at the start of of new year as well. I have copied the whole letter in the hope (in the words of B&WC) thst you as all feel thoroughly ashamed of yourselves.
‘A Letter for 2021
I am my mother’s son.
And I am our son’s mother.
Together we bring you Archewell.
We believe in the best of humanity.
Because we have seen the best of humanity.
We have experienced compassion and kindness,
From our mothers and strangers alike.
In the face of fear, struggle and pain,
It can be easy to lose sight of this.
Together, we can choose courage, healing, and connection.
Together, we can choose to put compassion in action.
We invite you to join us.
As we work to build a better world,
One act of compassion at a time’.
Just beautiful.
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But so fucking insincere Miles.
She has alienated and moved on from every friend, family member and acquaintance, throughout her life. The epitome of a user.
Social climbing, narcissist.
As for the the Letter for 2021-seen much better in Clintons cards👎🏾💩
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Didn’t get one from Ghaddaffi did they?
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And Hallowed be their name
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A satirical masterpiece Miles!
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Certainly just something…
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RT has it right.
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Almost on a par with your ‘The Evil that is Rock and Roll’ cunting. 😂
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I’m torn on this one. Part of me thinks they wanted out of the baby-snatching, kid-blood-drinking cult. But then on their own, they’re still being monumental cunts.
Still, there hasn’t been a royal cut this big since Diana’s brake cables.
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“It’s not Meghan and Harry, it’s Meghan.”
Nah. Harry has always been a vacuous, grade A twit.
MeAgain and Halfwit are a marriage made in Wokedom.
@ Ron. Another tremendous script! Enterprising TV producers should be breaking your door down to make a sitcom!
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Sadly, all the tv producers are woke cunts.
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Too late.They sold their souls to the Devil.(Insert evil laughter!!!!)Tough.
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Ron, you should get the 5 parts published, it would be a best seller…
Perfect.
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“ a nod to the tuppence lickers and shirt lifters, wot?”. 😁
As has been suggested above you should bring this series alive and launch it on the small screen – Amazon could have you make a few box sets of it. I think it would knock The Crown into the weeds. 👍
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I must admit that I’ve been wondering about who might be cast in the lead roles. Any suggestions?
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How about Diane Abbot as Meagain? BTW thanks for the links to the previous episodes, I’d somehow totally missed 4.
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Another masterpiece brightening up the start of the year Ron. Now don’t forget to work in that multi billionaire conveniently woke best friend neighbour, the truly hideous gob-face Oprah Winfrey, ready to bail the tossers out if it all goes tits up.
I can just picture you writing the screenplay for when those two grasping bîtches fall out
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The possibilities are literally endless Ron but here goes:-
Sparkletits : Whoopi Goldberg
Ginger nuts: Ed Sheercunt
Duke of Edinburgh : Al Murray ; Laurence Fox if Al’s not available
The Queen : Graham Norton
Princess Anne : Ghislaine Maxwell
Prince Andrew : Denis Nielsen
Servants: Fat Reg ; The Beckhams
Constitutional Adviser : Sir Nigel of Farage
Let me know how you get on casting this
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Get Pauline McLynn to black up a bit and dress a bit younger and I think she could take off MeGain to a tee. Leigh Francis would make a perfect Halfwit.👍
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As well as getting the casting right have you thought about getting a bit more inside info’ (if they come across as absolute (unts in public what must they be like in private!)? Maybe email the Duke of Edinburgh for some more lurid details – I’d bet he’d be delighted to oblige😁
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Ron Knee´s latest episode of the Markle saga has led to an explosion of comments by the world´s greatest intellectuals and publications. We present a sample.
“As I was cycling to Evensong at the ancient Norman church in Piddlehinton-on-the-Wold with my old chum William Rees-Mogg, who was wearing his latest knickerbockers and riding his penny farthing, we agreed that Ron Knee was probably a patriotic English yeoman and a decent enough chap but would be blackballed for membership of Boodle´s. After all, he never went to public school, enjoyed the manly rough and tumble of communal cold showers after rugger and being subject to a spanking by Matron in her starched uniform after being caught in the lav playing with his little willie.” Charles Moore, The Spectator
“The share price of Ron Knee´s publisher, ISAC Corp., has soared on sales of the latest episode of the Markle saga. Jeffrey Epstein, an analyst at Gordon Gekko Investment Trust, said, “This is a hot stock and we say BUY, BUY, BUY. Knee´s the bees knees!!!” The Wall Street Journal
“We demand that the United Nations Human Rights Commission inaugurate a war crime trial against Ron Knee for his homophobic assault on downtrodden gays and their innocent habits like hanging around public toilets with their dicks hanging out long after they have siphoned the python, going on nature study visits to shrubberies in parks at midnight and generally behaving like limp-wristed, castrati-voiced Julian and Sandy pansies.” Peter Tatchell, Gay Times
“Ooh Ron you are awful…but I like you!” Ben Dover chairperson The Dick Emery Memorial Trust. Seconded Cliff Richard
“The very word “Knee” itself has a cognitive dimension that interlocks the Carthusian idea of the myth as non-myth with the Sartresque notion of negative positivism. At the end of the day we must ask ourselves who is Ron Knee? Is he the devil within all of us? Is he the alter ego, the doppelganger, the angel of the morning, the je ne sais quoi all of us know exists within our pysches?” Noam Chomsky Harvard School of Kneesque Studies
“What a load of bollocks!” Keith Richards
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This site’s getting too bloody inteleckshul for me.
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Lol a great riposte as ever Mr P!
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Ron This is marvellous inspiring stuff. Keep it up. I loved Afghanistan being referred to as “Afers” and “Peasants” being Archie´s first word.
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Bloody hell Mr Polly, I could almost forgive you being Scottish with such an excellent retort to this cunting. I’m looking forward to your Burns Night nomination.
😀
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I quite like the look in the picture. Ditch the dogs and sprog, I may just have to investigate the backdoor.
I wonder if she let Harry in the tradesmans?
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Apparently one of the honours they will be handing out will be for science, despite Harry thinking that a cyclotron is a kind of bike.
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Another eloquent nom from Ron!
I can’t compete with such erudite wit so I’ll just say,
“Fuck off you thick ginger-winnited thicko and take take your gobshyte squinty-eyed wannabe Peruvian blanket weaver anal-slut with you! …..you stupid cunt!
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I have met some real dumb cunts in my life,but i have yet to ever ever meet a person as dumb as this ginger haired fucker. He cannot see for the life of himself that he is being fucked over big time by one of the best sleazy con jobs of a whore ever.I cannot wait for the day this whore drops the ginger haired freak and fucks him over for so much cash ever.Only a matter of time.,
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Hysterical Ron, keep it up and it’s all coming true….
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I do so enjoy Ron’s tales of the cunty folk.
Top marks to Admin for the photo of ginger bollocks on a lead too.
Near pissed myself.
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