Guardian Editor: It’s been days since we moaned about British independence. Williams, get in here!
Zoe fucking Williams: Yar, Boss.
Guardian Editor: Give me 500 words on Brexit.
Zoe fucking Williams: Shall I do some more fear-mongering?
Guardian Editor: No, they’re not falling for that bollocks. How about more rubbish about a failing economy?
Zoe fucking Williams: Hmm, not so powerful since this Wuhan virus. What about a piece on my new passport? It’s blue and British.
Guardian Editor: Good angle. Remember to make everybody thoroughly ashamed to have one. Take the piss and even suggest it’s not going to be permanent.
Zoe fucking Williams: Will do.
Guardian Editor: No need to mention Boris, we’ll stitch him up when he compromises on the EU deal.
Zoe fucking Williams: Understood.
Guardian Editor: And for the love of Jeremy, visit a hairdresser! You’ve still got a disgusting, greasy lockdown haircut
Zoe fucking Williams: Actually, I’ve already been to the…
Guardian Editor: On second thoughts, don’t even put your picture near the header. You look like a miserable, dried-up spinster who’s slapped on some cheap lippy to desperately look feminine. You look like the last prune at the lesbo disco when the lights go up.
(Zoe fucking Williams exits)
Fuck me, what an ugly cunt.
(We found your link, Capt. You’re welcome – admin)
Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous