Zoe Williams


Zoe Williams is a cunt, isn’t she?

Guardian Editor: It’s been days since we moaned about British independence. Williams, get in here!
Zoe fucking Williams: Yar, Boss.
Guardian Editor: Give me 500 words on Brexit.
Zoe fucking Williams: Shall I do some more fear-mongering?
Guardian Editor: No, they’re not falling for that bollocks. How about more rubbish about a failing economy?
Zoe fucking Williams: Hmm, not so powerful since this Wuhan virus. What about a piece on my new passport? It’s blue and British.
Guardian Editor: Good angle. Remember to make everybody thoroughly ashamed to have one. Take the piss and even suggest it’s not going to be permanent.
Zoe fucking Williams: Will do.
Guardian Editor: No need to mention Boris, we’ll stitch him up when he compromises on the EU deal.
Zoe fucking Williams: Understood.
Guardian Editor: And for the love of Jeremy, visit a hairdresser! You’ve still got a disgusting, greasy lockdown haircut
Zoe fucking Williams: Actually, I’ve already been to the…
Guardian Editor: On second thoughts, don’t even put your picture near the header. You look like a miserable, dried-up spinster who’s slapped on some cheap lippy to desperately look feminine. You look like the last prune at the lesbo disco when the lights go up.
(Zoe fucking Williams exits)

Fuck me, what an ugly cunt.


(We found your link, Capt. You’re welcome – admin)

Nominated by: Captain Magnanimous

51 thoughts on “Zoe Williams

  1. She did the mash
    She did the Brexit mash
    She did the mash
    It was a lefty smash
    She did the mash
    She did the Brexit hash
    She did the mash
    She wrote a load of gash…

    Thank you Capt: her mom photo instantly cured my morning glory. An early start to work today👍👍👍

    • Morning CS, thanks for that!👍
      Viv Stanshall was one of my of my choices of “greatest Englishmen’.
      Like the bit “Dracula & his son.’..they hold us a portrait of Liberace!!😁
      Thats our very own Spoonington doing the electric spoons.

  2. Well if you don’t like post-Brexit Britain Zoe, feel free to use your new passport and fuck off to somewhere in the EU, there are 27 countries to choose from.

  3. A completely pointless and meaningless space filler. Nobody actually gives a fuck what the passport looks like, it’s the cunts who are getting their hands on one that is the problem. Didn’t this bitch used to write for the Standard? She was fucking boring and thick as a plank back then. How do people get paid for writing shit like this?

    • I’m looking forward to getting my British passport in blue – cant wait to throw the fucking ugly red one away. I’ve always liked the bit on the inside left page which starts off with “Her Britannic Majesty…”. Fucking great.

  4. Zoe! Zoe! Europe’s that way -fuck off, we are sick and tired of rat traitors.
    And get a bath and a haircut or you’ll never find a decent wimminz to marry.
    Right, back to influencing the US Election! 😁👍

  5. I fucking hate cunts called Zoe, mouthy entitled harridans. There must be a demon curse connected to the name.

    • Their middle name is Karen!
      Zoe is just as hideous as her Sisters Venus and Serena, but has seen a lot less sunlight living in cloud cuckoo land.

      • Beat me to it, you cunt! If she gets up any further up the arse of whomever she’s interviewing, she’ll see the soles of Dermott O’Leary’s feet. Another cunt.

  6. From the article:

    She looks at her passport and observes; “we definitely are not in the EU anymore.”

    No shit Sherlock! What a brilliant fucking observation. It’s called Democracy, you dumbass. You know…the will of the people…the ideal you leftys are always raving about.

    What a sanctimonious shithead of a cunt.

  7. What kind of cunt loses 5 passports? Not that anybody could find it and misuse it – nobody could pass as a likeness of this hag.

    I’ve still got 5 years on my old passport. However, it’s tempting to renew early with my gammon face beaming from the photo within the lovely blue cover. The irony is that the passports are printed in Poland.

  8. In the Guardianibad bubble this cunt is a great success and a beacon of journalistic impartiality.
    To everyone else she’s a deranged harridan.
    Who buys this shitty rag?

  9. The arseholes who read the Guardian, and those failures who “write” for it, are the most lily-livered, sanctimonious, up their own arse bunch of bastards in this country. You can picture every Labour and LibDem MP scurrying off witht heir copy to the lavatory every morning to see what they should worry about today while they take their morning dump. Everyone should do the Guardian what Beethoven did to his most virulent critics. He once wrote to one: “Sir, I am in the smallest room with your letter before me. Soon it will be behind me”

  10. If i were her, i’d worry less about my passport’s appearance and have more concern for my own. That goes for double when i resemble something Peter Cushing would repel with a crucifix.

    Perhaps relocating to an EU country is in order Zoe? Maybe Romania? Perhaps Bran castle in Transylvania? Just ignore the local screaming “Strigoi!!” at you and fleeing in terror.

  11. The Street-Porters have always had to clean their teeth with a Karcher jet wash.
    This the youngest?

  12. Good Morning

    My passport ran out during lockdown, that article has just inspired me to apply for a new one. I can’t wait to receive it, even if it is stupid booking any foreign trips at the moment. I understand there is a 5 month queue for them, so I guess not everyone, possibly even a majority of people, agree with Zoe.

    I would, she’ s not that bad. Even mingers need shagging.

    • You would think given that most of these writers are anti-capitalists they would offer their contributions for free!

      But of course by and large they don’t otherwise they wouldn’t be able to afford their swanky house in Islington and their muse cottage out in the sticks.

  13. An excellent re-working for our times, CG!

    From Tadpoles (1969) and a hero of mine¹.
    The Bonzos’ take a vast improvement on Bobby Pickett’s frankly cringe-worthy 1962 original, although Viv kept to Pickett’s intonation and inflection rather closely.

    ¹ a bit early for zeugma, sorry

  14. Just onè more deranged lefty in a fucking occean of them.
    If she can’t be arsed to wash her hair imagine the stink down below.

  15. Jesus wept is that supposed to journalism. If my 7 year old turned that out for her homework on the same subject , I’d send her back to do it again.

  16. The fact is that there is a large market for this dross. Lots of liberal whiteys, willing to lap up any anti British, anti Brexit outpourings.
    I fully expect it to get worse, rather than better.
    That Bray cunt is a prime example, can’t move on, won’t move on, just keeps bawling on.
    As for Zoe, after losing so many passports, she should be banned from having one, no doubt she’ll lose her hated blue one too.
    Dozy cow.
    In other news, police have arrested a man in connection with the weekend stabbings.
    If it’s the dusky bloke seen in the CCTV,
    expect that pesky Mental Elf to feature prominently.
    Get To Fuck.

  17. She misses that big dick, Sweden, on her map of the EU on the passport.
    Maybe she doesn’t see many.

  18. Always amazes me how those that vehemently hate the Brexit decision still decide to live here.

    They huff and they puff about how Britain will turn into a disaster zone, and how the country will never be the same again.

    Well all they have to do, quite frankly, is use their passport, sell their homes, give up their jobs and fuck off the 20 odd miles from Dover to Calais (by dinghy, if need be), and enjoy life in one of the EU states.

    But will they I wonder?

  19. Off road a mo…..

    Advert heard on BBC Radio4 this morning, during the Today Programme:

    Africa Turns the Page: The Novels That Shaped a Continent. David Olusoga explores the incredible journey of the African novel – how a fearless collection of writers created books that were to define the image of Africa in the world.

    “The continent of Africa has become a superpower in the world of the novel.”

    On BBC TV FOUR tonight at 9pm. 😂

    • All I know about Africa is that they’ve always got the begging bowl out for a few more billion from the imperialist whitey West to feed M’betebie and his 18 bros and sisters.

      Fuck off!

    • I keep seeing the odd plug for Africa Renaissance which is on Iplayer or some digital,outlet, the 5/10 second plug ends with profile of the Afua Hirsch bitch with a background of an evening (Africa?) landscape….. what a load of shite!

  20. She should fuck off back under her bridge and stay there, thank fuck her and her ilk aren’t running the country, you know, otherwise how fucked would we be?

  21. A hideously fugly cunt, both inside and out.

    Can you imagine the morning breath on that thing. 🤮

  22. Now now chaps, the poor lady can’t help the fact that she looks like Janet Street-Porter’s ugly sister.
    What she can help is being a fucking Guardianista; for that she can fuck off anywhere asap. Twat.

    Morning all.

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