Monthly Archives: October 2015

Shappi Khorsandi

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Another ‘comedienne’ worthy of mention is Shappi Khorsandi. Look her up and marvel at how the fuck she gets paid for what she does.

Utterly shite. No stage presence, She only survives at venues such as the Apollo where the audience is made up of middle class tossers that wouldn’t say boo to a goose let alone heckle. Get her down to a low-key gig with a predominently stag and hen audience, that’s where you find out if you can cut it. She’d be eaten alive and the bones spat out before she’d got past her first cheerless tale of being exiled from Iran.

Silly bint.

Nominated by: Fleaboy

Carol Vordeman [1]

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Carol Vordeman is a cunt….

I thought she was alright in those early Countdown episodes and throughout the 90s… Not at all flash, far from stupid and even attractive… She was rather sexy back then…

Fast forward to 2015…. Plastic surgery to the fizzog, a huge pair of plastic tits, a very bad peroxide dye job… Does all kinds of tacky books and TV shows, and also now does the bottom end of the celebrity magazines circuit: with other cunts like Colleen Nolan, Denise Welch and those Birds Of A Feather cunts…. Vorderman was one of the more intelligent and real women on TV… Now she’s a professional celebrity and looks like one of those old slags from those horrible ‘Real Housewives’ shows…. Goes to show how a bit of money and fame can change a person, and not for the better….

Nominated by: Norman

The Apprentice

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They will no doubt be deserving of individual cuntings, but I’d like to kick things off with a pre-emptive strike by saying that all 18 of them will, undoubtedly, be appalling cunts.

Vain, self-important, egotistical, brown-nosing, back-stabbing, money-grubbing, talentless cunts.

If I was in charge off the BBC then (apart from being a colossal cunt) I would apply the following format to the show:

Each time one of the cunts gets fired by Lord Cunt, when he says “you’re fired” instead of pointing at them with his pudgy little digit, he actually pulls out a gun and, holding it sideways like a real badass, double-taps the cunt in the face.

Then after Sugar has wasted 17 of the cunts, the final cunt gets “hired” and breathes a massive sigh of relief… just before Karren Brady pops up and garrotes them from behind using her own G-string.

THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT!!!

Nominated by: Nickleby

BARONESS Karen Brady! What the fuck did she get a peerage for other than sucking up to LORD fucking Sugar? Whatever next? A knighthood for the winner?!?

The honours system is a fucking joke – but at least Brown and Blair didn’t get a gong. Maybe that’s because they weren’t on The Apprentice? Just a thought…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Teachers [2]

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I once got bollocked at school because I made a big fuss over the Irish spelling of Shawn.

There was a lad in our class called Sean McGuiness. In Ireland it is spelled SEAN, when I pointed out to my teacher that it should be pronounced SEEN I was bollocked, I then argued there is no H so how the hell can it be pronounced SHORN.

Needless to say I was removed from the lesson for disruptive behavoiur!

Teachers, now theres a group who need a good cunting!

Nominated by: Boaby

Vegetarianism

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I can’t stand all these “I don’t eat meat” cunts, yet they buy ‘Veggie’ Sausages, Bacon etc. I mean if you didn’t want to eat meat why buy something that mimics it?

Another thing if we didn’t eat meat back in the olden days (ice age) we wouldn’t have survived without the calories the meat gave us, the fur to keep warm and the fats for lighting the torches etc. Also farming techniques weren’t developed enough to grow loads of fucking organic vegetables neatly in a massive field. We were HUNTER gatherers at least thats my guess.

How many of these vegetarians wear Leather etc? I don’t have an issue with people choosing to be veggies but don’t fucking tell me eating meat is wrong, you cunts. Now give me a pork chop…

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt