Monthly Archives: August 2015

Dead Pool 23

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Blakey2

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Norman who correctly predicted the demise of Stephen Lewis aka Blakey from On The Buses.

So well played, Norman. Your Blankety Blank chequebook and pen are in the post.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 23.

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Trekkies

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star_trek_0

Star Trek fans are pretty fucking mental, they could tell you the star date captain Kirk farted in season 1 episode 9.

Star Trek is shite. The premise “explore new worlds and not interfere with other worlds.” They break this prime directive every episode and then are found to be in mortal peril.

The solution is always a variant of:
rerouting, inverting or generating a sub space field or the warp core inverters/manipulating the plasma flow is the ways above.
the end

Fucking wank, on a par with Dr Who,

Nominated by: Peter Griffin

Diane Abbott [3]

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Diane Abbott syas that London doesn`t need “another white middle class man” as mayor.She probably said this as she knows the only support she will get is from lefty luvvies who feel guilty about slavery and the historical subjugation of women.

Here`s a novel idea though Diane why don`t you stop being such a shrill voiced condescending racist hypocritical loony lefty cunt and then maybe you will get some decent support!

This woman is so pathetic that she came last in the Labour Leadership contest even below Ed Fucking Balls-ack! Imagine if a white man said the last thing we need as a working class black woman in charge there would be justifiable anger but oh no when it is a minority saying it they get a free pass! Equality my arsehole!

In conclusion Diane Abbott is one of the biggest (literally and metaphorically) cunts in politics and should be cunted on this site as much as possible: The fucking cultural-Marxist Cunt!

Nominated by: Shaun of the Dead 69

The Beatles

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Well it seems the Beatles haven’t been cunted before, and seeing that they’ve been cunts since the early sixties, I’d say it’s long overdue.. A few years ago I heard some Yank girl on the radio saying “I’ve never met anyone who didn’t like the Beatles.” I wanted to hold my hand out and say “Hello, my name’s Allan.”

I thought they were rubbish from the start and I can honestly say I’ve never heard a Beatles song that I’ve liked. I was listening to bands like the Pretty Things and the Nashville Teens, and I couldn’t understand how these scouse cunts had become so popular.

Years later I saw McCartney and Wings (?) on the tv, his band were all glowering at the camera and he was pulling silly faces, he looked so pleased with himself that I felt the urge to do him some damage. Smug bastard.

The rest of them were no better, Lennon was shagging that horror show exhibit from Japan and Starr’s best work was in the film Candy.

Overrated bunch of cunts who got lucky.

Nominated by: Allan

The Beatles are cunts. I like that song “Oh No” by Zappa and the mothers of invention which was a throwback to the Beatles “all you need is love”. I find it ironic that Lennon wrote it considering he abused his wife hated his children, took any drug given to him, was a asshole to anybody and everybody, and supported IRA and black panthers .

My favorite songs of the beatles are Here comes the sun and My guitar gently weeps(Harrison), Rain, Benefit of Mr.Kite,A day in the Life,Strawberry Fields Foever(Lennon) Yesterday and Helter Skelter (McCartney) Sorry Ringo nothing from you haha but yes your right they were cunts and they used their ego to be musical saviours when in reality they were just abunch of bitter douchebags who hated each other.

Nominated by: Titslapper

The Beatles, what a load of fucking thieving scallies, one day they may be as big as Oasis, another bunch of thieving northern monkeys

Music has been shit since 1980, same old digital shite compressed/processed and time-stretched to the point listening to it makes your ears bleed, in a bad way. Bring back vinyl, it was the source of my best chat up line that does not work anymore : “Hey love, I’m a DJ, want to come back to mine and play with my 12 inches?”

And it actually worked once, but that was when condoms were pretentious and I got a fucking dose of crabs off the slag – happy days

Nominated by: Sebastian Cod Roe

Cunts on bikes [2]

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An Open Letter To Cycling Cunts

Dear Fuckwits,
In case the penny hasn’t dropped yet,here’s why EVERYBODY despises you;

You ride around on your pathetic toys, dressed in your faggot outfits, in the mistaken belief that you are somehow “saving the planet” in fact all you do is add significantly to the sum of human misery.
You continually complain about road safety every time some cunt on a bike gets crushed under the wheels of an H.G.V. (I laugh my cock off every time!) In fact, if you just followed the accepted rules of the road like normal people, we would all be safer – you ignore traffic lights, one-way road signs, other road users, pedestrians and simple common sense.

You don’t have to pay road tax, pay insurance or even pass a test.
You get very sweaty and smelly and normally sport cunt beards.
It’s a child’s toy, you fucking moronic cunts, not a fucking sport.
You’re too fucking mean to buy a car.

It’s in the interest of your own safety to keep off the roads and pavements before the Great Backlash sees you all beaten to a bloody pulp, Cunts !

Nominated by: little lord cuntleroy