Monthly Archives: March 2015

Comic Relief [3]

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Comic Relief shit

FFS! It’s that time of year again! The seriously unfunny cunts are going to subject us to another load of purile shite in the name of charity…

Never mind that they’ve got stacks of dosh from last year they haven’t spent yet, it’s become an annual cuntfest to extract even more dosh from the poor bloody stupid public. Meaningless and, sadly, not even actually funny.

Still, it fills the TV schedules for next to fuck all and displaces some of the even worse shite they call entertainment these days so it can’t be all bad.

They’re still getting fuck all from me though!

Nominated by: Bane the Patroller

Fred Talbot

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Fred Talbot is a cunt.

Yet another ‘loveable eccentric character’ off the telly – which basically means yet another sick as fuck predatory nonce cunt hiding in plain sight behind the ‘nice guy’ image: à la Savile, Hall, Cosby, Gary Shitter and Jake The Fucking Peg.

It makes one think of how many of these kiddyfuckers there actually are… All these cunts got top jobs on television or in the entertainment business. I wonder how many producers, executives and the like at the Beeb, Granada and elsewhere there are that were ‘in on the secret?’

I bet there’s a whole fucking network that would make The X Files ‘Syndicate’ look like monks.

Nominated by: Norman

Giles Fraser

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I am absolutely staggered to find that the unutterable cunt Giles Fraser has never been nominated.

Hardly a fucking day goes by without the fatuous moon-faced gurning cunt picking up an appearance fee from the BBC on Radio 4 when they want some cunt to blether, without need of being prompted, mealy-mouthed lefty platitudes to convince us that God votes Labour, Jesus takes the Guardian, UKIP are the spawn of the Devil and The Tories are slaughtering the Firstborn all over again by way of the – wait for it -”cuts”.

Surely no other cunt has ever launched a career with so little talent entirely on the basis that he got sacked for not doing the job he was hired for.

Christ, what a cunt!

Nominated by: Jack Savage

Dead Pool [18]

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* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Shaun of the Dead who correctly predicted that Simpsons creator, Sam Simon, would be the next dead dude! Simon died after battling colon cancer at the age of 59 and spent most of his money from the Simpsons on animal welfare charities – so the good do actually die young.

Well done, Shaun. Yet another fresh face on the winners’ podium.

So the slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 18.

Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Phillip Hammond (2)

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What is it with the name Hammond that guarantees you’ll blossom into a first rate cunt?

Our newly appointed foreign secretary has been sounding off about Putin again with all the delicacy one would expect when dealing with a fragile situation. ”This man has sent troops across an international border and occupied another country’s territory in the 21st century acting like some mid-20th century tyrant ” (Kennedy in Vietnam maybe?). Has this slimy little Mr Burns lookalike cuntface been living in a middle England cottage with the curtains closed and fingers in his arse and ear for the last thirteen years since we illegally sent troops to tear the living fuck out of Iraq?

And this bell end is supposed to be the Foreign Secretary. The only cabinet this cunt belongs in is one made of sturdy oak with a strong lock on it. This guy is not prodding the Russian bear, he is shoving his skinny little hand up its backside and. No Phil, this isn’t Iraq with its catapults of shit for WMD’s, this is military powerhouse with the capacity to turn us all into dust within minutes. I personally hope that Putin nuts him at the next G8 summit for being a stupid little cunt.

When total war breaks out at least that cottage of his will get decimated first.

Nominated by: Too Many Cunts