Comic Relief [3]

Comic Relief shit

FFS! It’s that time of year again! The seriously unfunny cunts are going to subject us to another load of purile shite in the name of charity…

Never mind that they’ve got stacks of dosh from last year they haven’t spent yet, it’s become an annual cuntfest to extract even more dosh from the poor bloody stupid public. Meaningless and, sadly, not even actually funny.

Still, it fills the TV schedules for next to fuck all and displaces some of the even worse shite they call entertainment these days so it can’t be all bad.

They’re still getting fuck all from me though!

Nominated by: Bane the Patroller

26 thoughts on “Comic Relief [3]

  1. What about Red Cunt Day instead? Where you shag the Mrs or girlfriend, or better still someone elses Mrs or girlfriend so hard they end up with a nice red-raw cunt. The Comic Relief cunts could raise money by charging to show photos of said red cunts on the tele. Or did Roger Mellie already run that idea up the flagpole?

  2. Either way it’s better than seeing that talentless cunt Lenny ‘Katanga’ Henry sitting in a bath of baked beans again…What a cunt!

  3. It’s that time of year again, the period just before the financial year starts in April, so the BBC need to put on some ‘charity’ events for tax evasion purposes. Is it any wonder Red Nose day is conviently in March?

    They can go fuck themselves, they are sitting on piles of dosh from previous years creaming off the interest, and of course the BBC take a huge slice for ‘administration purposes’

    I’ll donate £50,000 if Jeremy Clarkson punches Tess Daley, Terry Wogan, Lenny Henry, Fearne Cotton & every freeloading celeb who appears on the show ‘live’ tonight..

    • I’ll double that if he punches Piers Morgan again (which is essentially a victim-less crime).

      • Somebody on the radio this morning said about Dermot O’Leary’s shameless publicity seeking danee-a-thon for Comic Relief:

        ‘Dermot will be on fire tonight..”

        I would give up a month’s wages and sex for a month to see that…

      • No sex for a month? That’s nothing! I can go without sex for 3 years……….. oh……. wait……. that wasn’t bragging?

  4. This cunt won’t give my money to that shite that’s for sure!!

    Marie Curie – yes
    Save the Children – yes

    Fucking Africans subjected to poverty because their country is run by a fuckwit cunt that stops the charity money getting to the people or worse terrorist cunts like Boko ‘we are all a bunch of muslim killing muslim cunts’ Haram…………No fucking way.

    As for that cunt Lenny Henry……….was funny for a brief time in the 80s but since then……….I think not.

  5. There are elderly people being abused terribly in UK care homes, kiids being done over by nonces all over the place, people can’t get decent healthcare here, there are poor families and single parents having the worst time since Maggie under this wretched Coalition… Do these showbiz BBC royalty cunts say , or do, anything about that? Nah!

    Fuck Lenny Henry, fuck Claudia Winkleman, fuck Dawn French (perish the thought!), fuck Davina McCall (and plenty have!), fuck Jonathan Woss, fuck Griff Rhys Cunt, and especially fuck that little turd, Dermot O’ Leary…

    O’Leary dancing for 24 hours? I hope he does… With any luck he’ll drop dead at the end of it…

    • Totally agree, it’s about time the government started to realise we have massive problems in this country that need addressing. fucking waste of space all of em.

    • Agreed, the celeb fuckwits regard the whole thing as a publicity excercise, doubt any of them give a shit about the starving in Africa, anymore than they do about the starving and abused in this country.
      I’d love to see them all donate a months wages, just as much as I’d like to see the Shamen of the Vatican, sell off a few of their treasures to help world poverty. I don’t doubt that Lizzy and her racist old vulture of a husband could throw in a few shekels while we are on the subject.
      Or how about the MP’s forgoing their free dinners and piss up in the house of Commons for a year and paying their “expenses” to charity?
      The phrase “lead by example” does not apply to them of course, only the great British sheep

      • Indeed, Fred.. A big fuck David ‘I wear women’s undies and I am about as funny as the clap’ Walliams…

      • Nice one, Dioclese. I fucking hate the talentless cunt and have cunted him previously. His naked pursuit of celebrity and the mediocre crap he produces are inexcusably abhorrent. Mind you, The Fast Show and The League of Gentlemen are partly to blame – if both of those shows hadn’t ended around the same time, Little Britain would never have made the switch from radio to TV. I once heard an interview with Walliams where he stated that he and Lucas had been trying to get LB on TV for years and were so depressed at their failure to do so, they were about to give up and quit comedy. But then The Fast Show and League of Gents ended and the BBC needed a new comedy show quickly… and the rest, I’m afraid, is history.

      • Cheers, Dioclese… No more than Walliams deserves… Shame there aren’t any sharks in the Thames…

  6. Luckily we don’t get this shite in Nuzzyland. Fuck, the tele is dire enough as it is. Sorry Lez, I didn’t get to burning Dermot O’Cunto. Would like to though. Anyway, charity begins at my place. Write cheques for CASH and send them care of Mr D, Promise I’ll spend the gelt on piss and prossies.

  7. The King of Uganda stays in a 10 grand a night suite at Burj-Al-Arab-Hotel Dubia, yet those Comic Relief cunts will’ ask us riff-raff to donate money to Uganda….

    Also, are Comic Relief spending any money rebuilding schools and hospitals blown up by Israel in Palestine? No? I thought not… Showbiz vermin…

    • Israel did not blow up any schools or hospitals in the Palestinian territories. Terrorists located rockets used to attack Israel next to schools and hospitals. Israel targeted these locations and avoided hitting other buildings.

  8. I’m already paying for the lazy piles of shit that comic fucking relief claims to want to help.

    Mainly because most of them are here and claiming welfare.

  9. Nothing against donating a few shekels to charitable causes, but after reading about the rake off that some of these charities take for administration, the funds and relief goods that the corrupt officials steal when the relief actually makes it there, makes me wonder what the point of it is.
    Most charities are just like Politicians, snouts in the trough and fuck the starving in Africa.

  10. The only “Comic Relief” I would like to indulge in is pissing on Ben Elton.

    Now there’s a grade-A cunt.

    • I hated the cunt in the 80s with his ‘Yes Indeed!’ gobshite socialist routine…
      Now I hate him even more… This sack of shit makes huge amounts of money by making ‘musicals’ that have the songs already written!
      Also, it isn’t hard to say ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’… Whenever Elton says ‘Bo Rap’ I want to take a cricket bat to his smug, self satisfied napper…

      • Ben Elton is a ‘grade A’ champagne socialist cunt who deserves death in any form, then he deserves to be dug up from his grave and burned like the a ‘wickerman’ to make sure he is dead and heat the homes of the disabled and poor.
        Smug cunt, he is up there with Russell Brand, Stephen Fry & Phillip Schofield as people I would like to beat to death with either a 9 iron or mayve a 5 wood before hanging them from Big Ben for all to see. cunts

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