Bono [6]

Posted on September 5, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

If we’re cunting tax dodging celebrity cunts, we cannot forget that Messianic muppet, Bono. Actually, we need to cunt the rest of U2 as well, they’ve denied the Republic of Ireland’s treasury millions of Euros. And that Hypocritical cunt, Bonio has the fucking nerve to travel the globe telling rich countries that we must give increasing amounts to the starving people of Africa.

You first Bonzo. Give the millions you avoided paying in tax to those starving Africans whose arses you seem to love licking. This fuckwit is the reason that Cameron and Clegg are so obsessed with throwing our money at every other country but ours. And now, they actually want to enshrine it in law that the UK pays 0.7% of our GDP in foreign aid.

Until you’re willing to give several million quid of your own money, Bonio, Shut the fuck up. Try writing a decent song for a change. I’m mean, you’ve been famous for thirty years or more, and you’ve come out with nothing but shite.

Nominated by: Quick Draw McGraw

Dead Pool [14]

Posted on September 4, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Well, bugger me backwards. That was a quickie, if you’ll forgive the expression!

Congratulations to King Cunt who royally predicted the next dead cunt would be yank presenter, comedienne and queen of the face lift Joan Rivers who died on 4th September at the age 81 after a week on life support. One of her greatest achievements in a long career is that not once was she ever cunted on this site.

So we have a new Dead Pool champ and clearly I’m going to have to pull my finger out to compete with this new upstart! In the meantime, King Cunt wins a prize. But don’t get too excited because the prize is a guest post of your choice either here or over at Dioclese – or both if you want. Like I said, not much of a prize and most winners don’t bother…

The slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 14. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Vernon Kaye

Posted on September 4, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Vernon Kaye is a talentless streak of piss…. A talking shop dummy, who is living proof that TV bosses these days will accept any stupid cunt as a presenter (like those two conehead mekon cunts, Ant and Dec)…

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Vermon cunting Kaye. Just come back from the local Beefeater where I’ve been put off my dinner as this over-excitable spastic has been staring at me from under the completely fictitious statement of ‘Boss of Beef’ for fucks sake! Why I asked myself is this semi trained chimp the ‘Boss of Beef’? Turns out the prize fuckwit was born in 1974 – the same year as Beefeater fucking inns were founded! Surely there must be somebody born in 1974 who is better qualified to be the ‘boss of beef’; a farmer/ slaughterman/ butcher etc than this hair gelled bellend?

I also nominate the marketing cunt who thought this was a good idea – I for one will never eat there again until I get a written apology from the cunts. Beefeater and Vernon Kaye – cunts, the pair of em.

Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!!!

Nominated by: Jimbob Cunt III

GQ awards voters

Posted on September 3, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Tony Blair has been cunted many times on this esteemed blog. Blair is definitely a cunt. No doubt about it. But is he a philanthropist? Is he dedicated to doing good for his fellow man? Is he fuck as like!

So, dear reader, we are forced to cunt the cunts who nominated and voted for him to be awarded GQ Magazine’s Philanthropist of the Year at last night’s swanky ceremony at the Royal Opera House.

Maybe these cunts were just joking? Maybe they finally realised the meaning of irony? Maybe they’re just totally disconnected from reality (well, they do read GQ Magazine)?

On the other hand, maybe they just are a bunch of total uber-cunts.

What next? Putin awarded Peacekeeper of the Year or Clarkson Feminist of the Year maybe.

Or perhaps the Nobel Peace Prize for Obama? Oh fuck, hang a mo…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Herbert Ypma

Posted on September 3, 2014 by A Cunt Who Cunts Cunts

Who, I hear you ask, is Herbert fucking Ypma – and well might you ask. I came across him when I was renting a cottage for a weeks break and a couple of his pretentious shite books were lying around on the coffee table.

According to Amazon, Herbert is “a gifted photographer and a careful writer” best know for his series of books ‘Hip Hotels’. Seems he was schooled in Oz but there’s no truck to be had with precocious twats there so he fucked off to America (where else?) where he could be recognised for what he really is: a pretentious little cunt who likes to tell everyone how good he is.

Let’s face it, anyone who sucks up to pretentious little cunts has to be a pretentious little cunt himself, and Mr Ypma likes to do lots of that.

Check out one of his books. The photos are straight out of the marketing school of photography, and his ‘careful writing’ is far more effective than the finest emetic.