Monthly Archives: August 2014

Hippies [2]

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Happy-Hippies2

I fucking hate hippies. When they take/steal/eat/drink/smoke something that is your’s and you complain to them it’s all “Hey! Don’t be such a breadhead, man!” and “All possession is theft!” and other such bullshit. Then they do the “Hey, it’s only a ten pound note/ a phone bill/ a pack of cigs/ a bottle of beer (and so on…). It isn’t a living thing or real life, dude!”

Then they try the “If it means that much to you, I’ll replace it…” With their whiny emotional blackmail voice in full effect: Hoping that you will say “It’s alright, forget it..” Well, bollocks to that. I came across many of these cunts in my college days (and the bastards never get their round in at the pub!).

Never ever trust a hippy!

Nominated by: Norman Whiteside

Dead Pool [12]

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* * * * RULES UPDATE * * * *
After an extensive public consultation exercise, the management – well, me actually – have decided to increase the allowable cunt count from three to five and leave it there. It has been pointed out that it drags on a bit otherwise! So fill yer boots…

* * * * WE HAVE A WINNER! * * * *
Congratulations to Dioclese (ME!!!!) who correctly guessed the next dead cunt would be investigative journalist Chapman Pincher who died on 5th August at the age 100. A man who was hated by the establishment for managing to get to shed loads of their dirty washing. You can read his obit here…

So, it would seem that I’m pretty damn good at predicting dead cunts (that’s my 4th) and thanks to Fred West for pointing out that the media coverage was so underwhelming that nobody noticed he’d died!

The slate has been wiped clean and everyone gets to pick a new ‘dead cunt walking’ as we move on to The Dead Pool 12. Here’s the rules :

1. Nominate who you think is next on the way out.
You can have a maximum of five cunts each. Leave names in the Comments.

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the last Dead Pool.

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. The winner gets a dedicated Dead Pool Champion guest post on the subject of his/her choice and kudos of cuntishness aplenty. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Baroness Warsi [2]

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So Baroness Warsi of Dewsbury has decided to resign. Good fucking riddance. That’s one less token piece of worthless shit in the cabinet.

So why the fuck was she there in the first place? Might well you ask. She qualified as a solicitor and went to work for the Tory MP for Dewsbury in his law practice. This apparently qualified her to stand in the election when he stood down. She lost. Shit, we didn’t get the token we wanted into parliament.

Never mind, we’ll just give her a life peerage and stick her in the cabinet anyway. In her own words “We need more people from urban areas voting for us, more people who are not white and more women. I play that back and think, I’m a woman, I’m not white, I’m from an urban area, I’m from the North, I’m working class — I kind of fit the bill.” No shit, Sherlock.

So why has she resigned. Surely not because she is seen as a waste of space? After all, she was formerly Conservative Party chairman, a role of which one member of the 1922 committee said “I just thought she was out of her depth. I have never seen anything like it – other than the last time she was before the 1922. I genuinely think she is the worst chairman we have ever had.”

So there it is. The Warthog has quit over a matter of principle in Gaza – something that as a Suni Muslim she is completely impartial about.Absolutely nothing to do with her being a total inept and incompetent token black, working class, northern, muslim woman at all.

Good fucking riddance. A failed exercise in political correctness is over. Cameron should be glad to see the back of her. If there was ever a justification for abolishing the House of Lords, then it’s Sayeeda fucking Warsi

Nominated by : Dioclese

Bernie Ecclestone [3]

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Bernie Ecclestone pays a German Court $100m to end a trial at which he faced charges of bribery, but “denies wrongdoing”. You couldn’t fucking make it up, could you?

As I recall, the late Michael Jackson paid off a family who accused him of sexually molesting their young son. The sum was around $25m, I believe, and of course Jackson also denied any wrongdoing.

Had funds allowed, I’m sure Myra Hindley is another one who would have liked to write a cheque and deny wrongdoing.

But Ecclestone is elevated to a special league of cuntsmanship by virtue of the enormous sum involved. The shrivelled, scrotal, cunt-haired little dwarf deserves the full Mussolini treatment, as does his rancid chav cumbucket daughter.

Nominated by: Fred West

Vince Cable [6]

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Vince Cable – the old cunt sells off the post office to bankers after asking them to set the sale price.

So, as you might expect, the bankers set the price low after getting first dibs on buying the shares from cunt Cable, and make £1,264,000,000 on the first day the shares are floated (money thieved off taxpayer).

Meanwhile, a person 10 minutes late for an appointment at a Jobcentre, after being made redundant, because of a bus strike or what ever, who has worked 30 years without claiming a penny in benefits, is sanctioned and given not a single unemployment payment for 3 months.

So, one law for cunts like Cable, and another for people who pay the wages of the cunts in parliament.

Nominated by: Ken not kin