Monthly Archives: September 2013

Francoise Hollande

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This dodgy pinko french garlic monkey thinks he can usurp Cameron’s rightful place as Obama’s willy warmer. Now finds himself the only tosser in the ring with his dick out. Merde Alors Francoise!

And no Parliament or Congress to vote against going to war for you so you can zip it up again. France is a Presidential Dictatorship you see, not a Parliamentary Democracy.

So practice taking Obama’s cock up your shitty little arse monsewer. You are Obamarama’s principal ally now. Good luck Francoise.

Enjoy the friendly fire you froggie cunt.

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Paul Morley

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Paul Morley, the Professional Northerner and cultural commentator who pops up as a “talking head” on practically every arts programme is not just a loathsome cunt of epic proportions, but also a repugnant opinion-whore who enthusiastically offers a hundred deliberately cryptic, wilfully oblique words on any subject where ten would suffice.

In fact, Paul Morley is that most dangerous of cunts: he is Stuart Maconie with a brain. A soundbite for every occasion, but an insight into none.

This incorrigibly supercilious cunt treats pop culture as an enigma that only he can fully unravel, only he can grasp the intricacies and subtleties and oh, how we should be grateful that he has deigned to explain the esoteric mysteries to we intellectual pygmies.

This self-important, self-admiring cunt needs dragging off the street and pushing into the back of a van. Drive the cunt out into the middle of the Fens and douse the fucker in petrol. Then insist that the tosser draws a parallel between German Expressionism and The Smiths while you idly play with matches. Not so smug now, I’ll bet.

Nominated by: Fred West

Paul Morley is a self-important cunt who knows fuck all about music

Nominated by: ChasCMusic

Mike Hancock

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How could any woman resist him?

That fucker Mike Hancock is a cunt. Can’t keep his cock in his pants, when he’s not shagging Russian spies, sexting teenagers or sexually assaulting the mental defectives that vote for him, he’s setting up his family with cushy sinecures by abusing his position as a city councillor or fraudulently claiming thousands for non existent expenses accrued during the course of his “duties”.

If the stars of the firmament were suddenly to rearrange themselves in order to spell out “Hancock is a Fucking Prick”, several light-years large, it would by no means be even half-way sufficient to adequately express how much of a cunt this man really is.

He is, of course, a fucking Liberal Democrat.

Nominated by: Termujin

Donald Trump

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Donald Trump is a four-time bankrupt, smug cunt with a right dodgy barnet.

If the other wanker, part-time Nookie Bear impersonator and full time cunt Alan ‘Midget’ Sugar has a low opinion of Trump, regularly calling him a liar and a failure on Twatter, he must be a total cunt.

For one man to accrue so much wealth, whilst having absolutely no skills whatsoever, neither in business nor socially, and to never actually do any work himself, is evidence that he is receiving the just rewards of other people’s labour, on an epic scale.

He ‘owns’ casinos in Nevada, or rather the debts that are secured upon them are in his company’s name (which changes periodically because of continued bankruptcies and other legal complications). Is he involved in organised crime? He set up a ‘university’ specifically to make money out of yet more suckers. He intends to build a golf course/hotel/casino/brothel in an area of outstanding natural beauty in Jockland. He takes savings off widows.

He will, hopefully soon, be spending time in a cell next door to Bernie Madoffwithyourmoney in Attica. Fucking cunt.

Nominated by: Eaglemoblr