Virgin Galactic

Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShipTwo on its first test flight over the Mojave Desert, California

Had Jolie, Bieber, Perry and the loathsome Brand been aboard the craft, forensics would have to spend ages sorting out the ship from the wreckage.

So Sir Richard, when you plan your next interstellar fuck up, please invite some selected guests to play the role of crash test dummies. I humbly suggest:

Eric Pickles (for maximum splat effect)
Jo and Russell Brand
Jihadi John
Justin Bieber

…and as many paedo’s as you can fit in once you evict the illegal immigrants, who will no doubt be stowing away

Nominated by: Captain Japseye

Eric Pickles

Eric Pickles is so fucking fat that if he carries on eating at his current rate he will need his own personalised motorised hoverboard to travel around Westminster, and that of course will be going right on the expense account along with the second home in the barren hinterland that is so far away from Parliament its just down the fucking road in Brentwood, you alright with that then taxpayers? And the fat cunt would also like a new pair of glasses as the current pair won’t fit on his fat fucking head in two months time due to him being an ever expanding enormous bloated cunt chops. And that’ll be another £450 ok?

Nominated by King Binge

Eric Pickles is indeed a fat odious cunt with a expanding baldy heed but not as fat as Mike (FatCunt) Ashley. They may well be brothers in cuntitude.

Nominated by Ollie Burtons Grandad