Elton John [5]

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Elton John is due another cunting.

This little fat megacunt has just said that his two boys will not inherit his millions when he croaks as he wants them to grow up normally. Ha !! So having a pair of fucking shirtlifters as your mum and dad is normal is it Elton ? If I was one of those poor kids I would consider those millions as a small amount of compensation for having no choice in the matter.

This cunt and his bum chum (and any other same sex couple for that matter) should never have been allowed to have kids. Can you imagine the daily embarrassment these kids will suffer when they start school?

Normality Elton ? you don’t know the meaning of the word.

Nominated by: Captain Cunteye

Elton John [4]

Elton John Performs At The Kent Event Centre

Can we cunt that fucking old shit stabber Elton John (again) please?

If for no other reason than his latest crap song that’s doing the rounds at the moment namely ‘Blue Wonderful’. It must have taken the old cunt all of 2 minutes to write this shit but it took me considerably less to dislike it.

Hasn’t this cunt made enough money from singing shite not to be able to buy his own private island somewhere and take his bum chum with him? May I suggest the Sea Of Japan where that other massive cunt Dim Mong Ug can use it for target practice for his new toys.

Nominated by: Captain Cunteye

Cunts miscellaneous

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1. Apparently Putin invited Elton John for tea and biscuits. If we’re lucky he’ll have some polonium on hand for EJ the cunt. Just read this and it’s not clear who I’m cunting. Fuck it, they both merit it.

2. Cunts who don’t indicate – when I’m walking home with a fucked-up bladder I don’t really want to play chicken – my “Just can’t wait” card versus a ton of metal driven by a potential cunt who doesn’t indicate because he can’t see any fucking cars that would benefit from it. Cunts – I hope you fucking die.

3. Smoking (NOT in a complimentary way) cunts who drop their dog-ends on the pavements when there’s a perfectly good road 2 fucking yards away – you lazy ignorant, inconsiderate, mother-fucking CUNTS.

4. Barry Scott again – I can’t fuckin believe it, RT are doubling up his fuckin adverts. Mind you I watched one of them for a new? clit bang (freudian slit) product which cleans out Ubend blockages which reminds me of a previous poster who complained about the size of his/her/its turds – this product may help them.

5. John Penrose – fuckin lyin CUNT – says AV is PR and he’s Minister for Constitutional Reform, more accurately Minister for Constitutional status quo (not the band, i don’t want you cunts going off on a tangent). Fucking lying bastard – I hope he gets invited to tea with EJ and Putin.

Fuck it – so many cunts, so little short-term memory; I’m cunted out for now..

Nominated by: Frottom

Elton John [3]

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Elton John is one of those irredeemably odious shitbags who can never be cunted often enough.

Now the fat little attention-whore has lashed out at fashion designers Dolce & Gabbana for describing the process of gay couples using IVF to create their own families as “synthetic”. Fat Elton had a major hissy fit (on Instagram, where else?) interpreting their remark as a personal attack on his own two children. Both of whom happen to be boys, incidentally. So obviously no engineered sex selection there then, never mind the fact that it’s highly unlikely that either Fat Elton or his partner were able to provide the eggs. Synthetic? Of course not – it all sounds 100% natural to me.

In a telling insight into Fat Elton’s views on freedom of speech (and it was merely a personal opinion being expressed, D&G weren’t denying the Holocaust), the talentless has-been called on the world to boycott Dolce & Gabbana because of this. Why stop there though? I thought Fat Elton had boycotted the entire fashion industry many years back: there can be no other explanation for why this short, fat, bald, old man continues to dress as though he’s really a tall, slim, thirty year old with a luxuriant head of hair. Maybe it’s an inverse form of Body Dysmorphic Disorder? If so, I’ve heard it can easily be cured by taking a huge quantity arsenic, washed down with a litre of Domestos.

At least Domenico Dolce had the style, grace and good sense to go bald naturally, Elton. At least there’s nothing “synthetic” about what’s on HIS head, you fat cunt. You look like a cunt, you dress like a cunt, you sing like a cunt, ergo you ARE a cunt. Now kindly fuck off and hang yourself.

Nominated by: Fred West

Well, how about that! Victoria Beckham has joined in Elton’s tirade against D&G. Nothing to do with the fact that she owns her own fashion house, of course. That would be just opportunistic hypocrisy, wouldn’t it?

The Johns and the Beckhams – four cunts for the price of one…

Nominated by: Dioclese

Elton John’s wedding

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Elton John and David Furnish’s wedding – another missed opportunity to take out an entire room full of cunts (all the usual suspects in attendance – The Beckhams, David Walliams, Jimmy Carr, Gary Barlow etc etc). Maybe we should have a whipround for an ISAC drone specifically for use on occasions like this?

Nominated by: Fred West