Liz Bonnin

A nomination for the once-likeable Liz Bonnin.

The BBC’s war on sanity continues with Liz Bonnin displaying a severe case of the Thunbergs and fronting ‘Meat; A threat to our planet?’

Apparently it’s growing meat that’s causing deforestation, rather than soya bean production. It is also one of the leading causes of greenhouse gas emissions, but still quite far behind heavy industry and transport. How any of this ‘kills the planet’is not addressed, but she does seem to get upset over something in the trailer (muh feelz), and ask the rhetorical question ‘like shouldnt we jus, like, stop eating meat right now?’ so I guess the planet is really being killed by meat.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

Amos Price

Slap-headed, soulless, piece of shit cunt, AMOS PRICE

A very special cunting for an exceptionally disgusting piece of human filth that’s not fit to live among us.

Subhuman excrement Amos Price, took his dog into the garden of a neighbour for the purpose of encouraging it to maul and kill the homeowner’s cat. The cat’s never been found and the revolting shitheaded father of two Price got a sentence of a notional 18 weeks.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-50439111

Can I propose the re-introduction of lawful hanging and nominate this cunt to break in the hangman’s rope? Or at the very list imprison the cunt indefinitely until he agrees to to be sterilised to save us any more of his devil spawn being shat out upon us and raised at the expense of the taxpayer.

Nominated by ShaggawotZ

The Vagina Museum

I would like to nominate, wait for it, wait for it… The Vagina Museum in London. I kid you not.

Fuck me, you think you’ve heard it all – admin

The Vagina Museum, based in Camden Market, is marking the occasion with its first exhibition: ‘Muff Busters: Vagina Myths and How To Fight Them’.

The free exhibition opens to the public this Saturday 16 November and will be open seven days a week. It centres around the concepts of “cleanliness, contraception, anatomy, periods and sexuality,” according to its curator Sarah Creed. Exhibits include larger-than-life display models of sanitary products – a tampon and Mooncup – covered in glittery “blood” to help tackle the taboos around this imagery.

“For now I’ve focussed on top level content,” Creed says. “But I could have filled a space 800 times bigger than this.”

Visitors are handed an anatomy quiz to label parts of the vagina – and, by the looks of previous papers, it looks like many fall short in being able to do so. The exhibition also features a gift shop which sells everything from the feminist literature of Maya Angelou and Laura Bates to more kitsch items, like a knitted clitoris and a lightbox bearing the phrase “Love the muff”. Going forward, Creed is looking to engage with visitors to the museum in order to gauge the demand ahead of further exhibitions. Creed acknowledges the limits of her own perspective, as someone immersed in the world of vaginas.

As part of the museum’s feedback process, the exhibition will feature a “vagina postbox” where visitors can ask questions and share what they might like to see from the museum.

I’d like to see a ‘permanently closed’ sign on the front door.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Facebook Recommendations Feature

Anyone who uses this feature for anything, in any capacity, is a grade A, Category 1, attention-seeking cunt in my opinion, and should have their access to the Internet revoked.

Exhibit A: “I need a reputable painter and decorator, a builder and a carpenter for the extension we’re having. I’ve already found the cunt who will do the work from Google, but I want my entire friends list to know that I’m having an extension so they can see how much better my life is than theirs.”

Exhibit B:”My snot-nosed, baked bean stained brat of a child has a cold, along with ADHD and autism. I know that Calpol will help with his throat, but I need the world to know that I am a single parent looking after a child with (self-diagnosed) ADHD and autism. I don’t want people to think my child is purely just a cunt at school because of his daddy issues.”

Exhibit C:”Any recommendations on where I can buy a USB cable that plugs into my phone, mines broken?” Translates to: ” I’m a skint/tight (highlight applicable) cunt who doesn’t want to buy one from Poundland, but doesn’t want to directly ask for one as not to look cheap, so can I have one of yours please?”

So paradoxical I know, but I wish someone could recommend the best course of action for these attention-seeking, life-sapping cunts who could easily just use Google.

Nominated by NumberwangCunt

Hollywood

A cunting please for Hollywoke. Sorry, I mean Hollywood. ‘Woke’ Hollywood.

To demonstrate what Hollywood has become, consider two of the worst flops in recent history – Terminator: Dark Fate and Charlie’s Angels.

A quick plot synopsis for both films:

Terminator Dark Fate:
Before the opening credits are finished, a T-800 appears, bursting in on a CGI-rejuvenated Sarah and John Connor and proceeds to kill John Connor. Just like fucking that. The entire reason for the 35-year Terminator franchise is erased within moments of the film starting. Next we see the androgenous shemale terminator (good) and an Apple store employee lookalike liquid terminator (bad) appear from the future to hunt down the saviour of humankind because it turns out that it wasn’t John. It was actually a Mexican schoolgirl meaning we can justify the erasure of the leading white man from the story. Androgenous thing and the Apple genius beat each other silly across various locations until a wrinkled Linda Hamilton appears and we basically get a cut price, shite version of T2 for the next 80mins, including the revelation that the murderous T-800 from the opening (Arnie) has reprogrammed himself to settle with a family and called himself ‘Carl’. What a fucking spectacular tapestry of wank.

Charlie’s Angels
A reboot of a 2001 remake of a 1970s TV show, this atrocity features Kristin Stewart as Mouthbreather, some enormous black woman as Gigantor and a few other trollops randomly beating the living shit out of anyone bad, all of whom by utter coincidence turn out to be white men. This includes ol’ slaphead thesp Captain Pickard who is one of three – fucking THREE – Bosleys in this film. Elizabeth Banks directs and ‘stars’ in this flowing stream of raw sewage and has been screaming loudly about how “men don’t want to see women in action films”.

These abominations neatly encapsulate the state of cinema right now – largely bereft of ideas, no common sense, no focus on scriptwriting and a tendency to pay attention to a vocal minority on Twatter for digital back pats – yet these self-same social media blue check marks aren’t the ones actually paying to see these films, leaving an audience of regular people totally put off by the virtuous bollocks within.

Instead of the modern trend of forced casting women as the archetypal Mary Sue perfect conquistadors, consider how iconic characters like Ellen Ripley (Alien/s) and the original Sarah Connor were developed: deep characters with relatable flaws and vulnerabilities, which made them the engaging action heroines of their day.

This Thursday I am going to see Le Mans ’66. I wouldn’t have normally bothered, but the uproar from the aforementioned SJW cunts about the lack of both gender and ethnic ‘diversity’ means the film must be doing something right. Fuck off Hollywood, and take the figurative and literal cunts with you.

You should be a film critic

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back