Chuka Umunna (2)

I would like to nominate Chuka U-moaner for a well deserved cunting.

On Thursday night, he attempted to lead a 49 MP revolt against Brexit, to table amendments to the Queen’s Speech,  which resulted in Cor-blimey canning 3 of his Shadow Cabinet. Fortunately, he failed to push through a ‘soft’ Brexit. i.e NO BREXIT.

This is the same MP who for two years sat on the backbenches after he resigned as Shadow Business Secretary in 2015 due to differences with Cor-blimey. Yet, after Labour’s better than expected performance in the General Election he offered to put himself forward for a Shadow Cabinet post. He was not taken up on his offer.

So let me get this right. Did he pull this stunt as revenge for not being offered a post? Or did he plan to act as a Trojan Horse if he was appointed?

A liar.. er….lawyer..by trade and a student of the B.Liar Academy of Political Skulduggery and Weasel Words he has been trained well. That remoaning, fantasist (never of the real world), Rowling woman would be proud of his work, most worthy of the darker elements of Hogwarts.

This ‘crime’ scene bears the grubby fingerprints of Teflon Tone, The Prince of Darkness and  A. Scumball all over  it. The Unholy Trinity is never far  from the action where  either  anti-Brexit attacks or sabotaging the Labour Party are concerned. It would seem they are gearing up to commit fresh attrocities against Brexit.

I know this is not a popular view here – defending Cor-blimey – but at least he did not cave into his mutineers and took decisive action against the rebels in his Shadow Cabinet. He is respecting the will of the people on the Brexit issue (at least) and I suspect, upholding his own deeply held anti-E.U beliefs.

At this rate, what with Mavis May wobbling and folding to E.U demands like a cheap suit while surrounded by the sniping Lib Dumb and SNP, lackey, brown nosers of the EU,   Cor-blimey may turn out to be the only political leader who would actually see Brexit through to its democratic conclusion – a genuine exit.

These are most strange times we live in.

Nominated by Mike Oxard.

Stephen Kinnock (3)

The Right Honourable Stephen Kinnock MP.

Normally I wouldn’t blame a bloke for the sins of his father, especially when he has inherited his bald bonce and ugly face, but this cunt is an exception.

Stephen was elected as recently as 2015 (safe seat Aberavon) after spending his early career pushing pens and shuffling paper in the EU bureaucracy (I wonder where he got that idea?) He also took the opportunity to marry the future PM of Denmark, a slag who managed to get him off charges of tax dodging in Denmark.

Taking the advice of Mummy and Daddy (each received £130 grand payoff and £67 grand a year pension for their invaluable “work” for the EU) he decided that the he needed to steal from the British taxpayers’ pocket at source.

Obviously a solid gold Blairite and remoaner, tipped by the media to reach the top of Labour politics, just like his traitorous turncoat parents. The apple never falls far from the tree, they say, but this bastard is going to own the tree.

Truly a CUNT for our times.

Josie Long

Josie Long is an archetypal cunt symptomatic of everything shite in today`s society.I confess I only knew the bitches name and that she was a comedian but all female comedians of a certain age group all fucking morph into one amalgomous glob of utter shite to me!Anyway I saw on my Facebook timeline a video of her with purple hair looking like she hasn`t slept or washed in days entitled “Are white people doing enough to stop white terrorism”.I honestly did not even need to watch the video as it was so predictable that I could tell she was going to slag off the right defends Muslims gloss over Muslim terrorist attacks invoke Hitler blame “toxic masculinity” and speak in a slow sarcastic mockney voice… and guess what I was absolutely fucking spot on.Apparently Mssss Long is more worried about far right terrorism than Islamic terrorism which is logically insane as hundreds have lost their lives to Islamist terror attacks this year but the so called “far right” is only responsible for one death in this country this year and the victim was Muslim so how you deduce your conclusions must be through the prism of sticking a pair of scissors into your ear hole so far that it digs into your brain! She also said that we tend to equate white terror attacks to lone wolfs…well the guy behind the Finsbry Mosque and Tommy Mair had no known current connections to a wider network of extremists.So what the fuck else do you label them as in that case? Muslim terrorists on the other hand have nearly been part of a wider network.This isn`t a right wing conspiracy :It is fact.She said she felt angry about Finsbury Mosque but sad after the Manchester bombings.Just like Comrade Corbyn (Who she is a massive fan of shockingly) she only shows her disgust and emotion at terror attacks one the person is brown. Long is also going on about how she is newly single.Is it any wonder you were dumped though love?You look like a typical feminist gender studies tumblr retard who smells of b.o and cheap weed and that hasn`t used a comb since she was 6 years old.What pisses me off about her ilk and by that I mean Oxford-educated self-proclaimed comediennes who look like bull dykes/gender studies professors and momentum activists is this: They are so predictable it is spooky.Upon googling this cunt I found an article she did with the evening standard that started “Josie Long explains why she’s making a show about optimism after …” and without even opening it I guessed the next word was Brexit and yes it was.These people are so dense due to society dumbing down and not encouraging independent thought meaning that misfits try and join a counterculture by becoming part of the cultural mainstream of the last 40 years and they don`t even possess the analytical skill of self-awareness and reflection to realize the hilariously retarded contradiction that is their very existence!

I am not going to slag her off as a comedienne because I don`t recall seeing any of her material although I am sure I briefly have at some point watched a segment of her on Live at the Apollo then turned it over after losing the will to live.But typing in Josie Long is a cunt into google lead to a stream of reviews featuring the words Josie Long and Cunt so I think it is safe to say she is probably as funny as pancreatic cancer a slipped disk and alzheimers combined.

In short Josie Long is a cunt who needs to drink a wet glass of cement!

Nominated by Shaun

Have I Got News For You. (HIGNFY)

I would like to nominate Al-BBC staple Have I Got News for You for a cunt-therapy session. Therapy for my benefit of course, not fucking theirs.

Not only has this satirical cuntfest gone well past its sell-by date, it has fermented into an unrecognisable, putrid mass in the fridge crisper. Choice vegetables of course in this salad o’shite being Ian Hislop, Paul Merton and whichever liberal elite comedians happen to be out-cunting themselves each week as the ‘guest’ hosts.

Confession time – back in the 90s, I used like this show. I remember Paula Yates and Piers Morgan on respective episodes getting a good old cunting. That Bruce Forsyth terrorist card game was funny. The William Shatner one wasn’t bad. But the show is now just a sorry fucking self-parody tribute act. What is worse, is that like anything from the Al-BBC post 2008, it has been infested with divisive neo-lib rhetoric and goes hand-in-hand with the very fucking worst dregs you find nodding sagely to Polly Toynbee columns in the Guardian.

The political agenda is barely concealed – all parties might be mocked but it is evident where the bread is buttered by noting who gets a real kicking. Unsurprisingly, plenty of pro-EU/anti-Trump/pro-immigration bollocks can be heard within each episode; topped off with the crowd of blue-haired quinola-scoffing hemp-wanking fucktards in the audience, who have taken to cheering anything pro-EU.

I no longer watch this shitfest, but in a moment of ill-judged stupidity I tuned in for the 2017 post-election special. What a fucking monumental mistake that was. Leading the charge as host was Jo Brand: a perfect fucking encapsulation for what the corporation champions as a box-ticking ‘comedian’ and amazingly, not even the most unfunny cunt with that surname. Ian Hislop as ever doing his indignant lectures that were once cutting and revealing, but are now just dull rambling speeches into cuntdom, delivered with a constantly bemused face which is so delightfully punchable – his head is increasingly resembling a cancerous potato. Central to the shit-mix is Paul Merton, who once upon a time at least had irreverent timing and wit, now reduced to a randomly barking shitheel whose outbursts are neither funny nor indeed fucking relevant. Guests this episode were Alan Johnson – a fucking member right down to his own surname – and Ross Noble, a truly unfunny rambling fucker whose head and sigmoid colon make a perfect geometric fit.

To be fair, HIGNFY is far from the only show that has been politicised beyond any humour; but it is one of the worst and most dramatic examples of right-on hijacking that I can think of. Plus, the ‘guest’ host list could be worthy of a cunting all on its own. A special place in cunting hell is reserved for the likes of Victoria Coren-Mitchell, her chinless fucking husband David, Alexander Armstrong, Miranda Hart and fucking Eddie ‘Top Cunt’ Izzard. Every single one of these bastards boils my piss into supercritical steam.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back.

Stephen Gilbert

Speaking of obnoxious Lib Dems, Stephen Gilbert a former MP for Newquay and St Austell deserves a cunting.

Recently, Gilbert went onto Facebook and launched into a rant against everyone who voted to leave the EU. Like all butt hurt liberals and Remainers, he’s completely incapable of arguing with facts and logic, so he followed standard butt hurt procedure and posted a picture of an EU flag with one of the stars as a tear, below which he wrote: “F***wits the lot of ‘em. From Great Britain to irrelevant England in 24 hours. Now, how do you claim refugee status?”

Gilbert first became MP for Newquay and St Austell in 2010 with a majority of 1,312, clearly very popular. He lost his seat to the Tory candidate back in 2015 and apparently, has spent the past two years training to be a teacher. With his attitude though, I wouldn’t want him within 30 miles of my daughter’s school. He has one big problem in his quest for re-election. The constituency of Newquay and St Austell voted Leave by a margin of 64%.

So basically, this far left Farron fucktard is asking people he has badly insulted to send him back to Westminster. Seems a pretty dumb thing to do if you ask me. Then again, we all know that Lib Dems are hardly rocket scientists. If I was a voter there, I would have given him an unambiguous FUCK OFF!  (Ed:  The electorate there did just that).

In one rant, he has insulted 17.4 million British people and proven once again that the Lib Dems are not a party for Britain, they are traitorous, pro-EU, pro-immigrant, anti-British, democracy hating cunts.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw.