ATTORNEY FOR DONALD TRUMP: Your Honors, our constitution bars anyone who has engaged in insurrection from holding any office under the United States. On behalf of Mr Trump I ask you to pretend this isn’t so.
JUSTICE 1: I’m not averse to a game of ‘let’s pretend’. Used to play it when I was a child.
JUSTICE 2: What about the television coverage of his speech before the riot at the Capitol? We all saw what happened.
ATTORNEY: Mr Trump is asking you to pretend you didn’t see it. And to remember he personally appointed three of your Honors to your present position.
JUSTICE 3: Ah yes, I see. Interesting.
JUSTICE 4: But some people might accuse us of a lack of impartiality.
ATTORNEY: No-one you need to worry about. What are they going to do, sue you?
JUSTICE 5: Point well taken.
JUSTICE 6: I’m convinced. Who cares what the constitution says anyway?
ATTORNEY: Mr Trump would like you to find in his favor and pretend it’s for the good of the country.
CHIEF JUSTICE: Sounds good to me. We’re all agreed then? And in a few weeks we get to decide whether he’s immune from criminal prosecution. If the constitution says anything about it, we can pretend that it doesn’t.
JUSTICE 7; I like this game.
Nominated by: Allan