Yep, that’s a real Yorkshire Tea box folded out – admin.
In a shitshow of a social media exchange the other day, where one customer was unfortunate enough to type their thanks that ‘Yorkshire Tea aren’t being political’ during this utter fucking madness sweeping the globe, this previously heralded ‘good old Northern’ beverage staple swiftly made an example of said punter, literally interjecting with “Please don’t buy our tea”.
And further down the thread, PG Tips leap in and side with their supermarket rivals. The message: We Stand Against Racism.
Now, this might sound funny but it really fucking isn’t. Not when you consider what this now everyday occurrence of corporate virtue signalling represents. Let us be clear about what this means.
This isn’t about fucking Twitter.
This isn’t about second rate fucking tea bags.
This IS about the ever-metastasising cancer of social justice – a ‘panderdemic’, if you’ll allow an equivocally apt label for this fucking zeitgeist – riddling its way irreversibly through the heart, guts and collective mind of society.
Whether this was actually a Yorkshire Tea planned response or a lone, reactive upstart managing their social media account, this was nevertheless a typical demonstration of subservience in the face of a modern day McCarthyist witchhunt of anyone who the BLM/white middle class socialist fraudfucks can tenuously associate with historic black oppression. Because in these insane times, not responding with something means you are further to the right than than an SS Officer with bloodlust.
So a bunch of cunts who shovel processed tea into supermarket shelves for t’simpletons will proceed to cure all racism by pandering on social media. Well, let’s all get the fucking bunting out, shall we? Hey, Yorkshire Tea, how about keeping an eye on events closer to home. Perhaps you shower of complete shitcunts should have similarly screeched such platitudes, after it was revealed that hundreds of peacefuls were targeting thousands of mainly white girls for repeated rape, abuse and sexual fucking assault en fucking masse for fucking YEARS. All going on in – of all places – your good old, salt of the Earth, fucking YORKSHIRE.
I swear to fucking Jesus tap dancing Christ, between my personal embargo on all things Chinese and all things woke, I’m going to be living exclusively off bread and dripping in a wooden fucking shack at this rate. Should any unfortunate cunt ever offer me a cup of Yorkshire Tea in future, then I will recreate the Goodfellas scene where Ray Liotta gun-butts his neighbour until his victims head lifelessly rebounds with each sickening thud; except in lieu of a firearm I will settle for a ladle or nearest blunt kitchen utensil.
In the words of Paul Joseph Watson, “Fuck your shit tea”.
Nominated by: The Empire Cunts Back