In times past, the festive chart topper was a part of the tapestry that was the Great British Christmas. The Beatles had at least four Christmas No.1s. Then there was, of course, Slade. With a real record that people actually bought in their millions.
Some of them were good. But some have been awful (Long Haired Lover From Liverpool, Save Your Love, Thereâs No One Quite Like Grandma, Sir Clfford of Richard). While some were totally unexpected and bizarre (Bohemian Rhapsody, Another Brick In The Wall Part II).But, it was always part of the fun and all that.
But now? The bad has taken over permanently. That weirdo cunt Cowell started it with his X-Factor shite. Cynically and ruthlessly pursuing the festive top spot every bloody year. And, naturally, the stupid and tone deaf chav hordes lapped it up.
Not to mention crap like Ladbaby (for the name alone, they deserve to roast in Hell), the unfortunately ubiquitous Ed Sheercunt, and even a poofy old Wham! single can get to the top of the Xmas summit without a single record or CD being sold. The singles chart is now worthless, and as crass and as vulgar as everything else these days.
However, things could reach a new low this year. Worse than Sheercunt, and even worse than Cowellâs freaks and bastard Ladbaby. But⌠But what could be worse than those cunts?
I shall tell youâŚ. Denise Welch.
The infamous (very) Loose Women âstarâ and well known super bike is aiming for the Christmas No.1 this year. No, I am not joking.
Ye Auld Slappeur has done an ear splitting ditty called âSlayyy Bellsâ. OK, that Carey woman is annoying at this time of year, but at least she was (notice I said was) nice to look at. But this old trollop? Is Denise Welch in red rubber supposed to be sexy? Sheâs about as sexy as Angela Rayner on a bad night.
As I mentioned, it was always a mix of the good, the bad and the ugly. But, this is what it has come to. This is the modern British Christmas in all its crass, tasteless and vomit inducing glory.
Official Charts.
Nominated by : Norman
