The Independent Commission on UK Counterterrorism

has warned in its review that conditions in Syrian detention camps such as Al Hol and Al Roj ” constitute inhuman and degrading treatment”

It goes on to say that the “Government should facilitate the voluntary repatriation for British Nationals, including those deprived of British Nationality ”

Now then, playmates, guess who’s a detainee at Al Roj, and who’s recently lost an appeal against the removal of her British Citizenship?

Yes, it’s Shamima Begum. You are correct and win a coconut!

When will these bleeding heart cunts give it a rest?

Sly News.

As a footnote, there’s a link in the news item to a story about a ” British” girl, around 9 years old who has been repatriated from Al Hol, found living with a woman who wasn’t a relative,who can’t speak English and has no idea who she is.

How the fuck do they know she’s British, then? Soft twats!

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

Apologies to the admins for the brevity of this cunting but I’ve just spent the last 10 minutes putting one of these fuckers on.

Elasticated bed sheets are a cunt. Especially when you are trying to fit a single bed sheet to a double bed. When pissed. I purchased badly but fortunately had a back-up sheet.

Slightly confused Dark Key, are the sheets to be used to keep the bed dry when you are pissed? C.A.

reddit.com

Nominated by Dark key Cunt.

How the mighty are fallen. Time was when the old pansy of Islington, Peter Mandelson struck fear into the hearts of journalists as he minced round the TV studios. His unctuous voice, even if it sounded as if he were sucking a cock, while he spoke, commanded, ney, demanded attention.

Just a few months ago after it turned out he was best chums with the American paedo Jeffery Epstein, the queen of New Labour lost his crown, and he lost his third government job – the late 1990s and early 2000s revisited.

Now, with his reputation (such as it was) in tatters, the pompous old poof has been reduced to drink, and pissing in the street against a strangers wall. I bet he was only sorry little Wes wasn’t passing by to lick him dry.

Daily Fail.

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs

“I think I’m in love,C.A.

“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee. I’m joined now by Chancellor Rachel Reeves, to discuss the ramifications of her Autumn budget. Thanks for joining us Rachel, or *snicker* may I call you ‘Thievin’?”

“Beast! Can’t you say something nice? *Sob* I’m going to cry again…”

“Something nice? Well let’s see… erm, you’ve got a great arse. I’d love to-”

“You awful sexist beast *sniffle*. I’m going to report you to the police for hate crime!”

“Blimey, how can saying your arse is fabulous be hateful? Anyway, least said, soonest mended. Now about the budget…”

“Keir says it was a positive triumph. A budget for the people. A budget for Britain!”

“Hang on. A budget for Britain? Growth down the toilet, inflation up, unemployment up, borrowing and debt at record levels, more broken promises on tax, another massive transfer of resources from those in work to those shirking at home and churning out kids, that’s a budget for the people?”

“Well look, times are hard. I fixed the public finances in my first budget and said I wouldn’t be back for more, except that now I am. But it’s not my fault. It’s all the fault of Brexit. And Covid. And the war in Ukraine. And fourteen years of gross mismanagement by the Tories. And economic headwinds”

“I see. Erm, what exactly are ‘economic headwinds’ anyway?”

“Well let me make sure I’ve got this right. They’re challenges or obstacles that hinder economic growth, such as global uncertainty. Or something. That’s what they tell me to say anyway, those people at the Treasury. So you see, any Chancellor would be standing here now, saying the same thing, it’s not my fault”

“So what’s your message to the increasingly hard-pressed, demoralised, and angry citizens, the workers and entrepreneurs who make up alarm clock Britain?”

“My message is that somebody’s got to pay more so that the feckless on Benefits Street can lounge about watching ‘Homes Under the Hammer’, eating pizza, drinking and smoking, and having more kids. Somebody’s got to pay to fund all those billions we spend on illegal migrants, net zero projects and foreign aid. This is what our rabid back benchers want, so dig deep, shut the hell up and get on with it”

“Well thank you Chancellor. Perhaps we’ll be here having the same conversation this time next year. But more likely not… Anyway, for now, this is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”

the sun

Nominated by Ron Knee.

We’re all more than used to news reports which leave us with feelings of disbelief, anger, regret or disgust. I’m sure you’ll all know where I’m coming from. But occasionally, along comes a story so downright appalling that it leaves me simply shaking with revulsion and rage. The case of little Sara Sharif is one such case.

Ten year old Sara was murdered in her family home in Woking in August 2023. Before her death she had been subjected to systematic abuse and violence of the most appalling kind by members of her own family, namely her father Urfan Sharif, her stepmother Beinash Batool, and her uncle Faisal Malik. I’ll forego providing further details of the extent of Sara’s injuries; suffice it to say that at the subsequent trial of the accused, the judge described the treatment meted out to her as ‘torture’.

An independent so-called ‘safeguarding’ review has since identified a catalogue of failures and missed opportunities to protect little Sara on the part of the appropriate authorities. Amid all the usual ‘thoughts and prayers’ and ‘lessons will be learned’ bullshit, there’s clear official culpability here.

But let’s not be deflected from pointing the finger at those who are REALLY responsible for this outrage. The blame for this lies squarely in the hands of those family members whose very duty it was to supply a loving and secure home for a helpless child. I hesitate to label this trio as cunts, because that flatters them. No, these creatures are evil, sick monsters. Devils.

At the conclusion of the trial, these beasts were banged up for a total of 89 years at HM’s pleasure, and are currently being kept at your expense and mine. Personally I’d opt for a swifter, cleaner solution involving a sturdy tree and three strong lengths of rope. This is a view with which I’m sure many cunters will concur; unless, of course, you think that hanging’s too good for the bastards.

Sly News.

Nominated by : Ron Knee