I posted a moan recently about woke historical revision – based on a film about Mary Queen of Scots surrounded by duskies and bumboys – but I have been equally annoyed by a Netflix series called “The Last Czars” in which the characters talk as if the Russian Revolution happened last week instead of over a century ago.

The script was obviously written by a software and OKed on a zoom session by people who don´t think authentic dialogue is important even in a historical film.

The Czarina moans about “lies and spin” in the newspapers over her relationship with the randy mad monk Rasputin.

Prince Yussupov, who was behind Rasputin´s murder, is portrayed as a precious, cravat-wearing nancy boy and when an Orthodox bishop warns Rasputin that they need to be “on the same page” Rasputin responds by saying, “Hear me with some fucking respect. Get the fuck off me” and then nuts him.

Rasputin, who appears to have shagged every woman in Siberia and the rest of Russia, talks with a Coronation Street accent saying things like “Let God´s luv enter ye” before deflowering a virgin.

Other Shakespearian lines include, “You need to treat the Czar as your divine leader, not as your cash register.”

The film is a semi-documentary punctuated by academic ”experts” who look as if they should still be in short trousers and gym slips.

Give me “Doctor Zhivago”, “Lara´s Theme” and Julie Christie in her pristine beauty any day although I would rather she had not shared her dacha and duvet with Osama Bin Sharif.

Netflix Link

Nominated by: Mr Polly

As if there were ever any doubt that this country is running permanently ‘hot’ here’s a few examples of how the incredible lack of spare capacity, or even good old fashioned ‘contingency planning’ has nearly brought us to the glorified status of Zimbabwe.

1. Storm Arwen.
It beggars belief that there are citizens STILL without an electricity supply, two weeks – TWO WEEKS- after the event. As ever the army were mobilised far too late. See also 2. below

2. Petrol shortages
It’s all gone quiet again now but how the fuck did the mere rumour of fuel shortages cause such unnecessary disarray?

3. Carbon Dioxide
St Greta constantly berates the planet for frying in the stuff, but it turns out the country’s entire food processing industry relies upon just 2-3 Fertiliser factories Oop North…… who produce CO2 as a biproduct. They threaten to shut due to high energy costs, result, chaos.

4. Heating gas
Apparently the whole U.K. only has capacity to store less than a weeks LPG compared to 50-60 days common on the continent. WTF?!!

This isn’t Covid or Brexit. The simple lack of foresight and basic contingency planning beggars belief. Does anybody running this shitshow even know where the next one will come from? Here’s one for 2030….. insufficient power cable capacity to cope with the shift to electric cars etc.

Nominated by: Isaac Hunt

Yes, we all know it’s that time of year when our wallets are shamelessly pried open by a perfusion of chuggers and retailers after your hard earned money, but I admit that I totally missed this little bugger : Giving Tuesday

Hot on the heels of Brats in Need and Black Friday, this was apparently on November 30th. Passed you by? Yeah, me too!

Maybe it’s because I’m a tight fisted old cunt who works on the basis that no bugger ever gave me owt fer nowt, or maybe it’s because I’m so overloaded by the relentless onslaught of the meaningless modern Christmas that it was just too much to take it all in. I leave you draw your own conclusions.

Whatever it was, if you missed it like me then you’ve been told now – so you’ve no excuse next year…

Charity Link

Nominated by: Dioclese

Dio really doesn’t like charities! Here’s another from him …

Charity fatigue

Is it just me or does anyone else suffer from charity fatigue? It’s out just my that is sick and tired of being bombarded with Christmas chuggers?

You can’t turn on the telly without being assaulted by a never ending barrage of appeals for animals, children, starving Africans, Afghans, homeless people, Oxfam (a cunting in their own right), meals on wheels, food banks, etc etc etc – far too many to list.

And then there’s the endless doom and gloom from the media about how everyone is destitute because of covid, lockdown, furlough kmoney for nothing) and wicked Tory scum.

Well here’s my Christmas message : Fuck ’em all. I never got handed anything for nothing, I had to work my arse off for it.

As Norman Tebbitt once so succinctly put it “Get on your bike”.

The good Lord helps those that help themselves…

And another charity nomination has popped in, this time from Vernon Fox

The poor starving freezing Afghan children.

Allow me a moment to wipe away my tears as I listen to yet another report about the “imminent danger of Afghan children starving and freezing over winter” – but, maybe just me being dumb here, but is it not the responsibility of the Taliban to deal with this alleged crisis?

And as China Joe sent the Taliban 1.7 billion US Dollars in cash on pallets, left them 84 billion Dollars worth of arms and military equipment which the Afghan “Army” fell over as they bravely ran to join the Taliban and the Taliban are currently selling all the rare earth mining rights to China for a fortune how about these evil murderous little fuckers deal with the alleged “humanitarian crisis” –

I am confident they will be right on it as they have such a great record of upholding human rights..

NOT our problem, not our responsibility and not our bill – but that won’t stop the flood of adverts from the tax dodging scammers calling themselves “charities”.

I am not feeling charitable – fuck them.

And another one… this time from Andy

Toy Charity Christmas Donations.

These are cunts.
Why?
You would think that they would be grateful, and accept anything.
You would think that they know that if a child is in a family, where for whatever reason, the likelihood of them opening a present in Christmas Day is zero, then the child would be appreciative if anything.
But this is not the case.
No, a child would be appreciative, but the twats organising it have different ideas.

Because of my own experiences as a child, whom I was lucky if I received something on Christmas Day, the thought of a little one not experiencing the joy of opening a present, strikes home for me.
I decided to scour free ads, and I have a few collections to make in my free time this week.
I spoke to the people running the Toy Drive in our area, and they won’t except used toys.
Instead, they expect people to buy a new toy, give it to them, to in turn donate it.

I get that it is nice for a child to receive a factory sealed, brand new item, but not every child has this luxury.

What a bunch of fucking characters.
They will get nothing from me now.
As for the toys I am collecting, I know if a few families through a friend, of appreciative children, and children who don’t have much, so that is where the toys are going.