are a cunt.

Adverts have been around for a very long time. According to Google, the first ad we have record of was on a papyrus found in Thebes, and dated at c3,000 BC. It was done by a craftsman to promote his weaving store. Ever since then they’ve been around to irritate or bore us to various degrees.

It’s fair to say that I can ignore ads for the most part, but some annoy the fucking life out of me for some reason. Take the case of this shitty ad for Maltesers. Here we have a classic for our time; a family of effnicks being introduced to ‘grandma’s companion’, an utterly gormless-looking wally chomping on chocolates, who is, of course, the figure-of-fun token white on display;

youtube

Speaking of ‘rainbow ads’, how about the utterly weird ‘copy nothing’ ad for Jaguar cars? This features a bizarre looking collection of individuals poncing about in strange costumes, but oddly, there’s not a car in sight… Reports suggest that since this very peculiar and irritating ad appeared, sales of Jags have slid into oblivion. ‘Go woke go broke’ then?;

youtube
Now some ads drive you to distraction by the sheer amount of repetition they subject you to. Who’s not been battered into submission when on YouTube by THIS total cunt?;

youtube

Yes they can truly annoy and irritate, and really, I suspect that’s the point. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.The more annoying an ad is, the more it lives rent free in your head. To this day I can’t shake out ‘on and on and on and Ariston’, and ‘Go Compare!’. If the ad man can throw some controversy into the mix as well and get people arguing about the ad in the meeja and online, then he’s generated (as that appalling Americanism has it) ‘more bangs per buck’.

I’m sure that you lot out in the world of cunting will have have your own ‘horrible ads’ to report. One thing’s for sure; like earthquakes, locusts, the clap, wasps, peacefuls and other undesirables, annoying adverts are another thing we’ll never get rid of.

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Hold the front page – gentlemen, if you have aged mothers in the care home, please restrain them, because I bring you BIG news!. It’s arrived! The 2026 Cliff Richard Calendar. Now 84, the Peter Pansy of Pop thinks we all want to see him posing in full colour. There are some very amusing comments in the piece – I will just pick out my favourite “I was buying his calendars for my mum in the ’80s – the 1880’s” – that gets the Boggs Award for Comment of the Week (the sender can have a 25% reduction on any film in the Boggs pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Limited catalogue, if he writes in. I recommend Jess Phillips in “Hot Dildos” – thrills and spills with “Mr. Phillips” at the wrong end of her strap-on.

Seriously though, the ego of Anthony Blair’s former summer landlord is staggering. Who wants to see some old bugger (literally) coping with life in his rubber incontinence knickers, inserting a soothing suppository and zimmer frame. I just hope Blair, and indeed, Kweer, and his crop of Cabinet arse bandits buy copies – it might give little Wes the horn.

Not as serious as some of my cuntings, which are getting little support, I might add! Shame on you) but we all need a laugh and if you look at the pictures there won’t be a dry seat in the house:

Daily Fail.

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs

is a cunt.

Why is this irritating greaser popping up in every film and TV series, sorry “season” going? It’s difficult to glean from his irritating accent, whether he’s a eurocunt or a Mexicunt, but it’s a grating accent nonetheless.

He was in Game of Thrones as a flunkey to that wooden, dragon bint, he was in some shit TV series with a mouthy, ugly, northern bird, then in another rapacious Star Wars spinoff, now he’s in a marvel superhero re-make for pubescent kids. Goodness, what a back catalogue.

Naturally, he’s obsessively pro-trans/alphabet people. In a feud with JK Rowling over the problem issue, he said Rowling displayed “heinous loser behaviour”. The virtue-signalling lickspittle once went to an event wearing a t-shirt that said ‘Protect the dolls’ in support the men-in-dresses and she-danglers. Why do these toadying bootlickers always cuddle up to the LadyBoys?

There’s something not quite right about this turd. Something a tad creepy.

With his handlebar dirty sanchez, he looks like Magnum P.I. with a melted face or perhaps Burt Reynolds after he’s had a stroke. Alternatively, his pubic whiskers might just be a cock-doormat.

Overrated, squirrelly cunt.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous.

In yet another triumph for Our Aunty Beeb they’ve not only found a way to promote The Dark Key & The Gay in sport,but also attempt to belittle other football clubs who oddly don’t give a fuck about some random cunts private “preferences”.

The funny fellow claims “coming out” has made him a better player,egged on by the club’s manager who really should know better.

Perhaps if the entire team decides to become a Gay then they will be playing in the Premiership by next season?

If so, why aren’t all the top clubs in world football getting On The Other Bus?

It’s quite the mystery.

Its safe to say Nobby Stiles would not be amused.

bbcnews

Nominated by Unkle Terry.

Virginia councilman Lee Vogler & the petrol attack.

It seems that this chap was just “going about his daily office business,” when a bloke called Shotsie Michael Buck Hayes, a 29 year old from from Danville, who is now being done for attempted first degree murder, managed to force his way in, then poured a U.S. gallon’s worth of gasoline over him from a bucket he had carried in, then when Vogler attempted to flee, chased after him, then set it all alight. This was apparently personal, so he had some kind of grudge, nothing to do with Vogler’s political role. It seems that this type of attack today is not an uncommon act throughout the world.

Ugandan Olympian Rebecca Cheptegei was doused with petrol, then set on fire by her former boyfriend, leading to her death a few days later, due to extensive burns.
Surinder Kumar a 27 year old from India had petrol poured over his body, & in his mouth, during a brutal assault over a land dispute. He died later from his injuries.

The list goes on, but from what I have assumed, most of these examples happen in India. The latest victim is very lucky to be alive. I am still not sure though if the fuel that was used in these instances was either Premium, or Regular?

Newsweek.

Nominated by : Lord Scunthorpe