Dead Pool [247]

Congratulations to Smells Fishy who has gone and Won Deadpool 246 by picking the Prolfic and renowned musician and composer Vangelis who was best known for his scores for Chariots of Fire as well as Blade Runner,The Bounty,Francesco and many more classic films.Vangelis was 79.

On to Deadpool 247

The rules.

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think will die next. It is first come first serve. You can always be a cunt and steal someone else’s nominations from previous pools.

2)Anyone who nominates the worlds oldest man or woman is a cunt and will be ignored.

3)It must be a famous cunt we have heard of.

4)No switching names mid pool unless they have already been taken.

5)Please check your names haven’t already been nabbed as we cant be arsed to check.

########## New clarification. Pool victories will be awarded in order of death announcements being made

World Health Organisation (4) – Mandatory Healthy Eating

You SHALL have a healthy diet!

WHO are at it again, knowing what’s best for us. Because we are too pigshit thick to realise, after years and fucking years of media, etc crowing on about it, that eating Big Macs several times a day isn’t healthy.

Guardian News Link

And because of this, because 20+ years of healthy eating education isn’t enough, we now have pending legislation to stop bogof, buy two, third free, etc, etc.

Why the fuck do these people interfere with our right to make a choice, and don’t give me that time worn argument about the strain on the NHS.

Spend the money on the NHS, instead of supporting and promoting this shite.

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

Priti Patel [8] – Out of Africa

“Wot! You don’t want a nice African vacation?”

I want to nominate Priti Patel as a cunt for her idea of sending our very brave dingy riding asylum seekers to Rwanda whilst they get their claims processed.

I think its racist for starters. Im a white UK citizen and to be fair I wouldn’t mind a free government trip abroad with free flights and digs, Rwanda although a bit of a corrupt country, is supposed to be beautiful and you must be guaranteed a lovely nice tan. If there’s a free bar at the this new Rwandan processing centre then Im all in.

You’ll please excuse me now please, while I put on some gravy browning, buy a cheap dingy and float around the Devon coast for a bit hoping to get caught very soon by the UK Border Force. I think it may take a few days though as they appear to be a bit thin on the ground as they are on the water. I’ll swallow my passport and regurgitate when I get fed up and want to come home.

I’m very excited that I will be probably making a lot of olive skinned friends. I think its a marvellous idea to pretend to be an illegal asylum seeker with the UK cost of living rise at the moment. What could better than a bit of Rwandan fun in the Sun!!

Happy holidays to you all, I’ll send you all a postcard xx

Nominated by: Baldieboyz

A Cunt’s Hairstyle

The Cunt Cut

“If it looks like a cunt and it smells like a cunt then by golly it must be ……….”
(Old cuntsman’s proverb.)

An era can be be defined in many ways but for the social historian there can be none better than by The Hairstyle. In no particular order: Flapper’s Bob, The Adolf, Crew Cut, Beatle Cut, Afro, Perm, Duck’s Arse, En Brosse, Mullet……. Just say the name and you know where you are and if you had one you most likely are a cunt.

After the ‘20s, ‘30s jump to ‘50s, ‘60s, ‘70s, ‘80s and on but unfortunately hit the 2020s are you are not so much in an era, more in an old wank stain. A crimper’s creation for our times?

I give you the Cunt Cut. The latest style phenomenon being trialled in a certain swanky London salon, the name and location of which is strictly embargoed. Paddle his arse for a fortnight but this old queen’s lips are so totally sealed. In the meantime feed your ravenous style buds with that oh so ironic hair line cut on the bias to fake that oh so mischievous Bully Beef look. And we do so love fake do we not my dahlings?

You know me my dreamboats – If you got it then flaunt it I say. That piggy pink neck with a frisson of freckles? Be bold and show it. That dusting of acne with highly infectious impetigo scars? Chin up and give it to the world.

Bully Beef flaunting it:
Bully Beef Cut

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

Paul Joseph Watson – Gobby Mouthpiece


As a slightly younger, and definitely angrier man, I watched quite a few of this cunts videos and found some of it resonated with me. Fuck, I’ve even posted links to a video or two of his here! But, like a stuck fucking record he just goes over the same ground, and without being remotely objective.

Also, I was never a fan of his smarmy delivery, and the fact that Uber prick Alex Jones is a trusted friend and comrade meant you had to take what he was saying with a massive pinch of salt.

Even when Jones was making a massive prick of himself saying the the Sandy Hook school shooting was a hoax that would herald stricter gun control (it wasn’t and it didn’t) Watson did nothing to distance himself from the swivel eyed fat cunt.

However, Watson has basically become a Moscow mouthpiece of late, his sneering videos pour scorn on the plight of Ukraine, the despicable behaviour of the west in helping them counter an unprovoked Russian invasion, etc.

But, its a free country, he can say that kind of shit if he so wishes, even though halfwit impressionable fools will believe it, and donate money to the Haw Haw cunt, following his pleading for cash at the end of his videos.

Today, he went too far in my opinion. In his latest sneering spectacular, he attacks those people disappointed that America is thinking of banning abortion in a lot of states. It wasn’t so much his opinion, but how he framed it.

According to the cunt, women who have abortions are baby murderers, who use it as contraception. And, anyone who isn’t in favour of banning abortion is a pathetic lefty, and a murderer enabler.

Tell that to my friend, who halfway through having her planned second child was advised to terminate the pregnancy because the baby, if it had survived long enough to be born, would have a short and extremely painful life.

It was a decision they didn’t take lightly, and not a day goes by that they don’t mourn the outcome. But, they made the right decision.

Fuck off Watson, you millennial bellend.

https://youtu.be/iBWMU-M9r7s

Nominated by: Gutstick Japseye